Son signed up for Army training without telling us

[anotherglass]

My 20-year-old son, who is at university studying engineering, has signed up for University Officer Training. He has signed a contract and undergone a medical. We only found out last night.
He is a young man who loves Leonard Cohen, plays the guitar and enjoys building electrical systems. Now he’ll be learning parachuting, marksmanship and how to shoot at targets.
I understand the appeal. Around £50 a week, exciting training, new friendships, adventure, mountaineering, climbing and paid overseas trips. For a young person at university, it must sound like an extraordinary opportunity.
At present, these reservists cannot be deployed. But in the current climate, I am deeply uneasy about how secure that assurance really is, and how quickly this position could change.
I haven’t yet managed to speak to him properly about it. But I am deeply troubled that the possibility of a change in status, including being redesignated and potentially becoming deployable, does not appear to have been made sufficiently clear at the outset.
A quick search online suggests that there is already discussion within parts of the military about getting a greater return on the investment in training university officers by making them deployable. If that is a possibility, surely young people need to understand it before they sign a contract — not simply be told about it if the rules change later.
This is what troubles me most. A package of pay, training, adventure and belonging can be enormously attractive to a 20-year-old. But the potential obligations and risks deserve equal prominence.
I know my son is an adult, and I respect his right to make his own decisions. But I am his mum, and the thought that he could one day be called upon to serve in a conflict — when that possibility is not something we had understood to be part of the deal — is genuinely frightening. Anyone else in the same position? Any thoughts on how to navigate this with son?

Its quite clrar why he didnt tell you.
You are treating him like a impulsive child, not an adult who has the qualifications for University.
You will ruin your relationship with him if you continue to treat him this way.

Also, it literally quotes the LC who runs the Yorkshire UOTC as saying:

"...graduates could also play important roles away from the battlefield.

"There are also people that we need to run industry and other areas of defence that aren’t deploying," Pollitt said.

"A lot of my students from Sheffield are in technical degrees, and they may end up being critical to the war effort in a different way than deploying."

Don’t back off. Make sure he understands. This is your child after all.

The UOTC are cadets
26% of UOTC cadets subsequently go on to Sandhurst with a view to becoming a Regular

There is a Reserve status to the UOTC, its “Group B, non-deployable”

The generally known Reserves are the “Volunteer Reserve”, they are the people who sign up to a night a week, weekends and an annual camp which all lead to their deployable commitment

The next are the “Regular Reserve”, the ex Regulars
who have a commitment and can be called back for deployment
The Regular Reserve have their own categories A & B. Category A is the default, category B is a voluntary extension to remain on the list

The Reserve groups other than Regualat Reserve are:

• Group A: Deployable Army
• Group B: Non-Deployable - with no deployable liability (UOTC, NRPS non regular permanent staff in Reserve Centres) etc. (UOTC cadets cannot be taken out of their education)
• Group C: Sponsored Reservists, such as contracted vehicle mechanics - highly likely to deploy in support of operations
• Group D: Specialist Reservists - doctors, cyber etc - likely to deploy depending on need
• Group E: Specialized Support & Musicians - a recent category of non combat roles, for PR, ceremonial etc

The links you provided do not state that UOTC have a deployable commitment, where are you getting that from?

He is 20!!!! Cut your apron strings before he tries to distance himself more from you.

Have you thought this response is probably why he has not told you about this, I’m probably a lot of other things?

But, @anotherglass , ‘the battlefield’ for a trained engineer in the British army will almost inevitably mean sitting in front of a computer screen talking to AI …

Presumably the ad is clear about their obligations under the contract that is currently being used - i.e. the one your son signed. They can't just unilaterally change the terms of a signed contract. Any changes being mooted would have to involve drawing up a different contract that would apply to future recruitments.

I think you are being overanxious - which is perfectly natural of course.

Could..

I’m assuming he signed a contracted and that will have the details in it.

Well, it's clear why the DS didn't say anything, and what has Leonard Cohen to do with it.

Everyone does that in basic training for all parts of the military. My ex sil had to do this as a ground support engineer. He never used a gun, mainly spanners.

He's 20! How you "navigate it" is that you tell him how proud you are that he has chosen to do something so worthwhile and fulfilling. Then you let him get on with his life.

Going in after university will mean he has has some exposure to adult life, though not as much as if he'd had a proper job.

He will be in a better position than youngsters who join up, and come out older but with no experience of adult civilian life.

@anotherglass but I bet you’d want to be defended by “somebody’s” son in the event of war wouldn’t you. What makes your son so special as to be exempt from that? If everyone had your view we’d have no armed forces. Is that what you really want?

I'm pretty sure I would have understood, even before the age of 20, that if you sign up for military training you could well be called up should it be necessary - and I've been nowhere near a university.

My DC signed up to one of the services and told us after the event.. obviously I was a bit upset because I'm his mum.
He was gone a week after his 17th birthday.. He did 5 years and is now in the reserves (meaning he can be called back).
His brother was already and is still serving.
I get the anxiety about potential war as I feel it myself but there's absolutely nothing you can do about it except support them and be incredibly proud.

Your reaction is totally understandable. But also the military is an excellent employer and it will give him hugely positive future prospects. The chances that he will be involved in actual combat are still absolutely miniscule, if slightly higher than they were 25 years ago.

Yes this!
They are aware that the young people they are cultivating in OTC are tomorrow's business leaders and politicians. The military hopes that they will remember their time in OTC favourably and be benevolent towards them when they are leading the world.

My DS did cadets from 14, OTC at uni and is now in the TA, (medical core). It's been the making of him. He has the most caring of jobs, isn't a thug and I'm quite sure he would only shoot someone if he was protecting others.

I understand your concerns but I am really proud of my DS, you can't expect other peoples sons and daughters to step up to protect our nation but not your own.

When people talk about the need for increased defense spending do they always mean other people's sons (and daughters?).

I don't understand why the OP is infantilising her son. Of course he understands the implications of joining the military. But he also understands that he will learn new skills, make friends for life and mature as a person. It's a fantastic opportunity.
And what's wrong with learning to shoot? If nothing else, it could give him access to a sport/hobby he could pursue well into old age.

OK. What does that have to do with your son? You're anti army, that's fine.

Clearly you want us all to say:
"Omg that's terrible. The army is using propaganda and cash bribes to recruit our young sons at uni and then plonk them in wars we didn't vote for! Let's start a campaign and use ChatGPT to formulate our arguments against the Uni Officer programme."

That's your right to believe that. Lots of people do! Of course there is wider discussions around whether a war GB would be involved in would be seen as justified or popular. Russia and Ukraine are doing some crazy stuff with drones right now and our own bases are being targeted. It is scary and worrying. But that is geopolitics. Other countries will want to do others harm unfortunately.

Lots of people think only stupid people with no prospects go into the army, or that the army tricks people into recruiting. It was a common/standard view for a long period of history. So some of what you're feeling is probs that.
Wouldn't it be easier to just ring him and say son, have you really considered the implications of this, are you happy, tall me through what you'd do if you ever were to be called up? And surely his answer would guide you. You are raising a man, not an infant anymore.

I think this is a very good point too

That law has already been put into place,
and takes into effect next year

www.gov.uk/government/news/major-boost-to-pool-of-skilled-former-military-personnel-called-upon-in-crises-as-uk-strengthen-preparedness

It means that the Reservists today working up to 55 will be able to do so to 65
I work with a number of them now in Army HQ as FTRS full
time reserve service. They are ex services who
come back into roles that they can remain in for longer than a 2 year posting bringing military experience and the “authority” of wearing a uniform vs a civil servant

They could provide a military role, and the extra 10 years retains the VFM and skills from their specialism, particularly cyber, intelligence etc
I work with engineers, one of whom isn’t using his core military experience but as a civil engineer

Having two brothers who served in Iraq/Afghan, my youngest son decided to sign up for uni officer cadets. Once he graduated from Uni he decided forces life wasnt for him and signed off. No obligation to join up. I assume that this is still the case

Perhaps he’s more motivated to defend the country than he’s letting on.
Someone has to be

He hasn't been conned or press-ganged. He is a fully competent adult.

What do you want the Army to do? Have adverts that say "the food is shit, you'll freeze your balls off and you might get shot at. Come and join us!'