Chair confiscated of 6yo at school

[Eyreofindifference]

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

Sorry, my question was for @MurphysColeslaw

Move the whole group because one child can’t follow the rules they all have to follow? No.

I am also not sure why the whole group needs to move to suit the wishes of one child. Again, it’s not how society works.

Indeed, if that happens too often he won't need to worry about being embarressed it will be the fact he has no friends. Kids aren't stupid they can name all the annoying, naugthy, disruptive, violent kids in their class even at 6 years old.

You want the teacher to apologise ? You cannot be serious! ‘Good ‘ teachers don’t need unsolicited advice from gentle parents. Have a little word with yourself.

It works. It’s only humiliating if you let the child dwell on it and make a big deal of it. Tell them not to do it again and let them work through their emotions naturally. I’m sure they will survive.

And it is still a complete waste of time. The correct answer is,’Suck it up, Buttercup and do as you are told to avoid nasty injuries. If you are caught doing it again, you will be standing up.’

End of story. Child is safe, no one’s time is wasted. Child has justice as adult is ensuring child is not hurt in the classroom.

Seems like a pretty natural consequence. The teacher should have been firmer on those laughing at him, but the taking the chair away was a perfectly valid consequence of not following the rules and keeping him safe.

Yep, they all know the ones who get a sticker just for sitting down, when the rest all sit down all the time.

I don’t think touching children (‘hugging it out’) is an action recommended by many teaching unions, for obvious reasons. Perhaps your mother retired a long time ago?

You should be glad your child is being encouraged to be safe

He wont do it again hopefully

I’m sure the teacher didn’t allow the laughing to continue if she’d heard it! A good teaching moment to explain why the chair was taken away.

In Reception we used to teach 6 feet on the floor. 4 for the chair as it was dangerous, 2 for the child as kicking could hurt their neighbour.

Meanwhile, back in the real world … 🙄

He was asked three times to stop and didn't 🤷 would you rather a phone call saying he'd cracked his head open on the floor? Would that be better

I'm 40 and can still name the kids like that ☹️ the ones that got rewarded for doing what the rest of us were just expected to do!

As a primary school TA with over 20 years experience, I have seen countless children slip from a chair whilst swinging on it. For the most part, the worst injury was to the child's pride. However, two incidents really stand out for me. In the first, a boy in year 6 tipped back and hit his head on a radiator knob. He had a very bad cut on his head, required stitches and missed out on the school residential trip, which took place the following week. The second incident involved a girl in year 4. She been told several times to stop swinging on her chair and had ignored the teacher. She was trying to balance on the two front legs of the chair when it slipped and she fell forward, bashing her face on the desk. She had a broken nose and had to undergo several operations to sort out her nose and to correct the breathing difficulties she had as a result of the incident. I imagine both sets of parents would rather their child had merely lost their chair for a while, rather than getting a phone call telling them their child had had an accident and an ambulance had been called!

"Against her emotional grain" FFS i really have heard it all/ So you think you DD should be allowed to misbehave and disrupt the whole class because telling her off goes against emotional grain ?

He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

He told you this @Eyreofindifference ?

Are we not now recognising more that young children can't sit still for long periods. Its my understanding that early years education has moved on from chalk and talk and is more play based.
Is it a big deal to recognise he is not able to sit still and write in that moment (and is therefore swinging on the chair) and move him and a few peers onto a different task for a bit. I would think he is getting a bit restless and cant stop swinging on that chair let me give him something else to do for a bit and try again. And pick him and small group to work on something that removes the chair. I would not think he needs to stand for a long period and be singled out as if he has been bad. Save that for violence and actual bad behaviour not behaving like a 6 year old when your 6.

You have misunderstood.

At six years old, it is very easy to be cognitively overloaded and to forget to follow every instruction. It’s not always the case that the child is actively making a choice to misbehave, but that they’ve simply got too much going on in their head to remember everything they’ve been told. A child might know perfectly well that they’re not supposed to swing on their chair, but if they’re busy thinking about something else, that instruction can easily be forgotten. It doesn’t mean they’re deliberately ignoring the teacher or choosing to be naughty. They’re six, and their working memory is still developing.

Of course he can be reprimanded for behaviour. As I said in an earlier post, poor behaviour needs clear consequences. I’ve also said that I can see from a health and safety perspective now why the teacher did the correct thing. My question was about him feeling humiliated. There’s research to show how exclusion as low down as primary age can impact children, and the other kids laughing at him, and the duration of him having to stand were what made me want to post for advice in the first place.

Also, I have agreed with the other posters and can see why it was needed from a health and safety perspective. I’m not against being told off, children need clear consequences to learn. I posted because I thought the duration of him being made to stand and the giggling at him was not nice. Plenty of studies into how exclusion from primary school age can have damaging effects onwards. I asked a question, I got helpful responses to put things into perspective, I changed my mind. I don’t think it was a silly question to ask, though

He can be moved anywhere, no one else should have to be. Kids sniff this stuff out immediately, as PP said. Just because some children can’t sit still and work, doesn’t mean everyone else has to be disrupted to hide it.

All of which is exactly why the teacher didn’t mention any behaviour issues at the Parent /Teacher evening. The teacher doesn’t see this as a behaviour issue, but she understands the safety issue. A consequence was applied and hopefully your son will learn his lesson. The teacher has moved on and forgotten about it already. She knows he wasn’t deliberately being ‘naughty’ but she needed to get the message through to him.

It’s really very difficult to believe that you are a teacher. Surely you know that sometimes you have to pull kids up on certain things, even the ‘good’ kids need reminders and consequences sometimes.

Depends if you see it as distruptive. Working in small peer groups is a good thing. Noone is losing out/being harmed. I am sure in class of 6 year olds there will be a few in the same position as him.

They can all sit on the mat together then. If they can follow that instruction.

Or the one child can be told off and everyone moves on, as happened in this case.

Imagine if this happened to you. How would you feel? Why should a child feel any different. His peers are laughing at a punishment the teacher has set. The punishment ( and yes that’s what it is no matter how it’s framed) is ok. The teacher allowing children to laugh is not.