Chair confiscated of 6yo at school

[Eyreofindifference]

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

no, we just dont jump to the 'my kid has adhd' route becuase they are swinging on a chair.

Sometimes, kids are just kids and need disciplining and not being told its not their fault.......jesus

Sorry and I am going to try to say this politely, but are you able to read what I put?

"Maybe you know your child well enough to know if this happened it was because they were being deliberately defiant"

"for SOME children this wouldn't be the case."

Why are you literally making things up?

As a primary school member of staff, we’d ensure many reminders were given at this age and explain why the rule is there. That way, children know what the consequences are.

Children swinging on chairs is a safety issue for the child and others in class as has been mentioned.

If a child is constantly rocking, then there are supports that can be considered. Wobble cushions, chair bands, movement breaks (handing books/resources out) are good ones. We also have portable standing desks that children can use. If a school normalises these adaptations then there is no shame in being different or standing out (no pun intended).

Extreme, but true, case: I know a teacher who has been permanently disabled and had to give up work from a leg injury caused by a pupil swinging on their chair and falling on her. It was a high school pupil, not a six year old, but still...

I think the action taken by the teacher was fair, give that he had already been warned twice that day.

Quite! I wouldn't heave dreamed of reporting such an incident to my mother, whose response would definitely have been of the 'You should do as you're told the first time, then - shouldn't you?' variety.

I cannot believe the OP actually IS a teacher herself, because if she were, she would know the safety issue here trumps "embarrassment". And as others have said, feeling such an emotion is fairly normal as we go through life. Much better than a cracked skull.

Like what?

I agree with the teacher and would be reinforcing the message with my son, explaining the risk of injury and that the teacher was trying to keep him safe.

Maybe he should have been sent home? 😆

I ended up in A&E after doing this. I still have the scar on my face. The school couldn't get hold of my mother so took me to the hospital where she had to come and meet me. She thought they were being way over the top and was quite annoyed about the hassle. The school were not delighted about taking me either. I was about 6 at the time and hated the whole situation. Just tell your son to stop swinging on his chair as the consequences could be a lot worse than having to stand up.

I would fully support the teacher on this one.

Last year I saw a child in a trolley dirty shoes and all being wheeled around by Father in a supermarket. He was about 3. A member of staff had hold him they were worried the child would fall out and it’s a pretty skanky and foolish thing to do. The next thing I heard a scream. Apparently the Dad had turned his back to get something and the child had smashed their head on the hard floor. An ambulance was called but it’s not just kids that behave stupidly.

I agree that you are making a fuss about this. Hopefully he has learnt his lesson.

No, I suggested, not demanded, they could apologise to each other and in the case of the teacher, not for stopping him swinging on the chair but for the humiliation he felt and that she allowed others to laugh at him.

Letting the little boy and his mum suggest other options-the teacher doesn't have to take note if she doesn't want to-gives everyone ownership without sacrificing respect for anyone.

They don't have to hug it out. My mum, a primary school teacher, would have done so but that's not for every teacher and that's fine too.

Talking helps understanding. Apologising re-sets. Glad you find that bonkers and laughable.

I think they were joking.

Just how many people are ADHD or ND? Why does it seem to often be a reason/excuse for bad behaviour

Oh. Perhaps not. Then I despair too.

I'm commenting on OP behaviour more than the kids, her response to this situation is to consider complaining to school, come on mumsnet being all upset about it and to expect her son to never be embarresed.

None of this reflects are balanced approached to parenting.

OP should be greatful her kid is uninjured and happy that the teacher is making an effort to safeguard, dicipline and educate her child.

Perhaps what he needed was to realise that his teachers will impose consequences too, @Eyreofindifference. Children will push the limits with different adults to see if they will be as strict as mum.

I was on the fence there too, couldn't make out whether it was brilliant satire or serious. No wonder there is a retention problem in teaching!

Why do you not want him to feel embarrassed ? You cannot go through life protecting your child from every emotion. feeling those emotions is how they learn, how they build resilience. What you should have done is say well maybe that will teach you to behave, you had been told numerous times before so you only have yourself to blame. Actions have consequences.

I have also seen a small child fall out of a trolly, it was horrendous!

And if he'd slipped and hurt himself, no doubt you'd have complained that he wasn't being properly looked after.

I think the teacher was being perfectly reasonable and has ensured he won't need to be reminded again.

I understand how you feel, it’s like you feel their pain. But sometimes a short lesson is what they need. He will get over it and it’ll be forgotten by the other children after half term. It’s difficult but children do need to listen and to learn. But again, I get it.

I'm sorry but this really isn't necessary. The teacher has nothing to apologise for.

It's unfortunate that the little boy felt humiliated but it doesn't sound like that's what she intended.

She took a chair off him as he was behaving dangerously, simple as.

What you're suggesting is mad and undermines the teacher in future. They shouldn't apologise for enforcing appropriate disciplinary measures.

When I taught this kind of thing would be termed "restorative justice" and was universally regarded by teachers as utter rubbish. I've never seen it work personally and just found it defeated the whole point of issuing consequences.

Unless the teacher behaved in an inappropriate way (they didn't) they have nothing to apologise for. It's counterproductive.

And what would you suggest ?
the teacher was 100% correct here

He had a consequence. good for him. I bet he doesn't swing in that chair anymore.