Chair confiscated of 6yo at school

[Eyreofindifference]

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

I can't believe you're a teacher and you're questioning this.

If he fell and split his skull, I'm certain you would say the teacher 'should have stopped him'

This is how they stopped him. I imagine it will be effective.

Can't believe you as a teacher are saying this . Guess you are blind when it comes to your own kid . Being embarrassed because your teacher reprimanded you is not a self esteem problem. It's not like he was put in the corner with a dunces hat .

As an aside, it was always my worst humiliating nightmare to be made to read out loud in front of the whole class. I hated it, & to this day hate it.
I am certain this is an antithesis of a solution.

He is experiencing a normal emotion. He will work through it and be fine. He will try harder not to swing on his chair in future. I take chairs off children - they soon learn.
You do know children need to experience the full range of emotions to be able to cope with life?

My DD used to do that alot, (she has ASD though), she now has a special rocker chair, she didn't like it at first but due to safety risks is made to use it.
Not saying your child needs this, most don't but teacher can't allow this to carry on, and he was warned muilt times.

This!

He got three warning before a consequence. That’s two too many. One warning then a consequence in my room. It works! If a parent complained, I’d listen and then tell them it’s one warning then a consequence. I do not have to run my classroom consequences by parents for their approval. Teach your child to listen and follow instructions.

He needs to man up.

It sounds like school were very clear. He should know not to swing on a chair - he is in school and should sit properly and be working not messing and shouldn’t have needed telling more than once. Removing his chair is a sensible solution to stop him doing it if he’s disobeying. It’s annoying and unsafe. Feeling embarrassed is good hopefully he’ll remember how he felt and not do again. I’d be reinforcing he needs to behave in class and do as told.

He's 6.

Which is an appropriate age to learn that nobody likes being told off, you aren't supposed to like it, but it will happen if you don't listen to your teacher/parent/ other authority figure or when you do something dangerous - hug -then end of conversation.

Repeat as required.

I'm far more worried about safety than I am a child, repeatedly reminded not to do something, feeling embarrassed at a consequence.

I'd have him apologize to the teacher.

I would not be happy about this,humiliating punishment should have been left behind in the 1950s
i probably wouldn’t bother raising it as a teacher with that attitude is unlikely to respond well

Yes, Apologise wasn't quite what I meant. Restorative justice is a better term.

He had been repeatedly reminded about not swinging on his chair and had ignored this. I’m sure you’d be straight in to complain if he’d injured himself. I know someone who fell back on his chair at school and had a very serious back and neck injury and spent months in hospital. He’s over 50 now and says this had a significant impact on him. I know this is an extreme example, but accidents like this do happen. What did you want the teacher to do instead? Just keep telling him? What if he fell? He probably won’t do it again.

Your child is 6,

• doesn't know how to sit on a chair safely without reminders
• can't remember what he's been told a few minutes ago
• and can't see the danger in what he was doing

The fact that he felt humiliated is the least of your worries.

• Why cant he do the things above at 6, when most 3-4 year olds could? - That's a worry.
• How will he be safe everyday if he can't see danger when it's pointed out to him, and can't follow a simple instruction for more than a few minutes?

He just needs to learn to do as he’s told.
Or suffer the consequences.

Same, I would be hoping the message had sunk in now. It's dangerous to swing on the chairs.

This is an opportunity to teach your kid resilience. Also that actions have consequences.
If he fell and hit his head would you complain about that?

Let’s see if he does it again.

Let the teachers get on with their jobs.

No wonder we have kids that are unable to function in the world, or hold down jobs. Mummy can't fix everything. I don't care if he's 6, do as you are told.

I work in schools and I've never seen anyone's chair taken away, but it is a safety issue. It's hard for a lot of little kids not to move around in their chairs. Maybe buy him a kick band for his chair to help him sit still?

No I'd be telling him that he is not allowed to swing. He could have busted his head open. If I'd bring ot up to the teacher I'd ask next time take it the first time do not wait until he's done it 3 times.

Why? What would you do? I am interested in your reaction.

Don’t you care that your child might be seriously injured? Not so much ‘Mama Bear’ as highly neglectful and lazy parenting to take the side of a child (who feels a bit embarrassed) rather than a teacher who is looking after classroom safety. Any child who continues to swing on chairs is a safety risk to themselves and others. A potential solution is to take them out of school and educate them at home where they can sprawl on the sofa.

We have rules in society to keep individuals safe but also other people in the community. The rules need to be kept. The adult equivalent would be drink driving. You might feel very embarrassed being breathalysed and losing your licence but that keeps you and others people safer on the road.