Chair confiscated of 6yo at school

[Eyreofindifference]

My DS was upset at bed time last night, he said he felt embarrassed at school. He swung on his chair, and was reminded not to, swung again, another reminder, and later in the day swung a third time and then his chair was taken away for the rest of the afternoon. He said he had to stand to do his writing at his desk for his science lesson. He felt embarrassed, some of the children were laughing at him and finding it entertaining.

I’m a teacher myself, secondary rather than primary, and I know that children will have consequences for poor behaviour.

DS is only six though, he was forgetting and leaning back in his chair. Do you think it’s worth raising with the school or just leaving it? I don’t like the thought of him feeling embarrassed or ‘on the spot’. For some more context, we had parents evening earlier this week and his teacher didn’t raise any behavioural issues. We did, however, discuss how anxious DS can get when he feels like attention is on him, and his teacher thought that perhaps encouraging him to read out loud in the lessons would support him to overcome this, as she also had recognised that he gets upset if he feels like eyes are on him.

Would you mention anything to the school?

It's dangerous, he was told 3 times. How many times do you think its reasonable to interrupt the lessons to tell him to stop swinging on his chair?

The teacher did the right thing, and DS may remember not to do it again after that unpleasant lesson.

Yes very good point

In our house we’d call this a “life lesson”.

After already telling him to stop, on more than one occasion, what else could the teacher have done? Ask him another time and hope for the best and risk being sued or investigated when little Jayden ends up in hospital with a head injury?

Hopefully now he knows the consequences he won't do it again.

I don't think humiliation is a suitable punishment for a 6 year old.

Yes alongside not putting your fingers in hot things etc!

Jayden?

It wasn't a punishment it was a logical consequence and risk management. Embarressment is a normal human emotion.

I am a primary teacher and have removed chairs. Its not for humiliation but if you are a teacher you should be aware you are responsible for the safety of those in your room. I would rather have a child stand than a head injury

How it is humiliation?

What would you have done? I am not trying to be snarky or catch you out, just curious how you think the teacher should have handled him swinging on a chair.

At the very least the teacher should have stopped the other children laughing at him.

The teacher basically can’t focus on teaching the content because they are keeping an eye on the child who may be about to have a serious accident.

I’m amazed we have designed better chairs though. I had some stacking tub chairs that are far more stable. Safer to stand on when putting displays up and down, too 😉

Thanks all. I won’t be ‘that parent’.

Sounds like an excellent way to teach him not to ‘forget’ not to swing his chair. He was embarrassed because he didn’t listen and was punished, that’s how it works. He could smash his head open if the chair fell.

Would you prefer he fell and split his head open?

Yes exactly. Listen to the teacher next time.

I sincerely doubt that today was the day that he learned swinging on chairs wasnt allowed. He most likely knew that, as do the rest of the class. He chose to continue despite warnings for whatever reason. The shame he feels is from being stopped from doing something he thought he was going to get away with and all of his peers witnessing it. It is embarrassing. That is a natural emotion to feel when you get something wrong in front of others. Today he learned that he needs to follow instructions. And hes lucky he learned it without a trip to a&e.

So teachers now can’t hit (obviously and thankfully that part of history is over) but they now can’t shout, can’t punish the whole class, can’t keep them in at break, can’t take away the item they were messing about with because it’s ‘humiliation’ to stand when you were endangering yourself with your chair…

What should teachers do? Let kids do whatever the fuck they want?

Perfectly reasonable to take his chair away until he learns to sit properly.

It makes sense, but is hard for him as it is unlikely he is doing it to be annoying but it is just a habit. I get where the teacher is coming from ... they are responsible for his safety.

He absolutely does. Not that it matters to you in any way, but sometimes a comment is too hard not to reply to. There are consequences for behaviour in my household, I am consistent with this.

After reading all replies I do agree and see now why it was needed.

If he hates attention so much why did he keep doing something which brought him to the teacher's attention!

@Eyreofindifference i wouldn’t be happy with this either and i would complain to the school. It’s never ok to shame a child - and if other kids were laughing at him, that’s exactly what this teacher’s punishment achieved. I get that it’s a safety issue but the teacher should have thought of another way to stop him doing it