I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

I am fortunate enough to be loved enough such that I do not need to pay strangers to talk through my problems. That does not preclude me from asking for advice from peers about difficulties they may also share.

What about you? Does your therapist recommend you badger strangers that are unimpressed by you? Do you find that validating?

Maybe your next degree can focus on communications. I'm sure you can do it, clever-clogs that you are!

Yep, definitely worth it, certainly something I've gotta' suck it up to do; that is the sentiment I started this thread with. Now the actual point of the post: Any tips for how to make it better while I'm sucking it up and doing it anyway? Y'know, like, laundry might suck but it's nicer if you choose a scent you look forward to smelling all day, y'know? Something actionable? I think a few people have mentioned that I need to suck it up and it's not a big deal. There are certainly worse problems to have. Yep. They and you are right. But if there is a way to have no problem, that is better than having a small problem, isn't it?

Agree with this.

OP that's a hefty list of expectations you're putting on yourself with those bullet points. I really don't love reading to DC. But I think of it more like changing nappies. Just get it done. Pour yourself a nice cup of coffee in the morning and a nice glass of wine at bedtime to make it more bearable (the books, not the nappies obviously).

Just grit your teeth and read the books they want, otherwise you end up doing the book you chose followed by all the ones they wanted. I read Goodnight Digger to DS1, who is autistic, every single night for well over 6 months.

I found the classic children's book way better and easier of the soul than more modern stuff, but at the end of the day it's not about you, are they enjoying it? If so just crack on

Thank you for the suggestions, I'll definitely take a look.
I completely agree on the latter sentiment, and though it's not something we're in a position to do, and I think my younger ones are a little too young, I am looking forward for them to start having relationships independent from us. It'll be as fun for them to have the company and perspective of someone else as it will be peaceable at home, aside from anything else😄

Entirely possible. I'm no great scholar but I do like to think that I need something a little above early-years entertainment to keep my mind occupied. I have long-term project I get to work on once a week (more if I'm able to fit something in during naps or stay up late), but the majority of the time is spent with my children, engaging in stuff they can follow along with. This is something that my husband and I discuss now and then, and as my daughter gets older and we can actually hold a conversation, that has made things a lot better. Ultimately, though, the conclusion we always come to is much of the response I have received as parallel to the helpful suggestions: 'it won't be for long, just suck it up and wait it out.'

Therapy. For the anger issues and the weird triggeredness of reading children’s books.

I am very new to Mumsnet - just found out I am pregnant! What astonishes me in my initial impression of Mumsnet is how often women tell other women to “just suck it up”. It’s a strange reaction to someone speaking about things which are frustrating or hurtful or distressing because it feels dismissive. I wonder if this comes from a place of bitterness, or if some Mums are thinking, “I put with this, so everyone else should put up with it too.”? I think as a community of women it would be wonderful if we could be more supportive and ambitious than this when it comes to having fulfilling lives. I think women have been told “just put up with it” for too long in history.

Kids reading books is hardly the time to be ambitious!

Funnily enough OP, I'm at the other end of it. I'm delighted that our nearly 13yo wants to be read to in bed, and I'm all too aware that he won't want to for much longer but I'm struggling to find books that we both enjoy.

I'm the opposite of you and find books to be the only parenting thing I do love. I hate pretend play and redirect to books. But I do not enjoy all books admittedly. You've mentioned your oldest is 3 though so it can't have been that many years can it? Mine is 3 and we're waiting for the second and for the books I hate I just say that I choose one and she chooses one - this works as a compromise. She has pretty good taste though tbh.

You've said as a reply making up stories is better so have you seen the Aaron Becker books? My daughter adores these - they have no words so you make up the story and it's supposed to be great for their imagination. I'm also going to start buying her some chapter books with pictures because she's got a very good attention span for books so that might be another option. For the younger kids...we've honestly never really done the super kiddy books as my daughter wasn't interested...she has started picking them up recently strangely! But we tend to just read them in the library or in the shops.

First and foremost: Congratulations! May your morning sickness be brief, your cravings be cheap, and your little one healthy 😁
I think there is a little bias toward the unhelpful on every internet forum, just because fulfilled people (especially with young children) spend less time online, I'd wager. That said, in my limited experience from this thread, and the one other I've engaged with, there are many more kind and helpful people willing to share experiences and advice. For every 'get over it', I've received about two book suggestions or a helpful idea, so it's well-worth asking. In part, I think 'suck it up' is the default line when you're out of other options because that is all that's left - there isn't really a 'give up' or 'try again later' when you have children. But children are wonderful, worthwhile, and constantly changing, so sucking it up is rarely forever, at least^^

One day, I hope to be where you are, and congrats on raising a boy that won't be hiding a Gameboy under his pillow (or, is it phones, now?)!
I'm not sure I can offer any proper suggestions, as I'm sure you've probably looked at the classics, but LoTR or Northern Lights may work?
If you're up for a different tact, some dramatised history could be good. I can't think of anything specifically child-friendly, but something in the style of Killers of the Flower Moon (heavy subject matter), or pop-biology like Nature is Never Silent by Madlen Ziege (I've not read this one, but have heard good things). I'm biased, but non-fiction can be very digestible and read as fiction if you find the right book. Underland by Robert MacFarlane is a book I would've loved at his age.

I really like reading to my daughter when it's just us and I can read something a bit more substantial, but that time is comparatively rare, and she often chooses the shorter books - I think because three picture books feels like she's getting 'more' than one chapter of a longer book.

Pretend-play I don't mind as much, just because she steers it in interesting ways - I haven't hit the pony girl, princess, or similar phase yet, so maybe that will change. At the moment it's stuff like building a school in a volcano for her teddies, and they all pour water over the lava to make the rocks to build the school, then there's an ice-cream shop in there where the only valuable currency is magnets. It's cute, for now. 😅

I think another poster mentioned the Becker books, but I'd not heard of them before. It is something I'd really like to try, though, thank you.

We do go to story time, and to the library generally throughout the week (they have an outdoor area the children really like, too). It's quite difficult to get them further away than the immediate town for some logistical reasons, but our local library has been a god-send, it's true!

These books are aimed at young children with simple plot lines and vivid illustrations for them- they’re not designed to entertain you. Fake it, develop a love of reading and they’ll be great readers and independent readers in no time.

dear OP, I think you’ve had a bit of a rough ride from some respondents on here. Not all, but many seem to want to wilfully misunderstand you. To me it sounds like you’re doing a grand job, but that you’re worn down and weary with it. You say your DD, and oldest, is 3 (and about to start Nursery) and you have ‘multiple’ other DC? That means you have, how many? Let’s say three at 3yrs and under? Sorry, I‘ve read most of the thread, including all your replies, but have missed that important info.
Dear OP, I think you’re all toddlered out! ‘Books’ is just the peg you’re hanging it on.
Conscientiously nurturing and caring for the needs of toddlers and the very young, day in/day out, demands a particular kind of total focus which can, simultaneously, be mind-numbingly boring. How EY practitioners do it as a career beats me.
There have been some good suggestions e.g. having a structured weekly plan of different activities. But nothing takes away from the (necessary, beautiful, totally undervalued) relentlessness of what you are doing at the moment. Sounds like you are providing your DCs with a foundational treasury for their futures. It’s just that it’s doing your head in. No shame. Au contraire. Well done. Much love. ❤️

ps as far as I’m concerned, just be grateful they are not hugely into Lego. Yet 🤣.

My dad never read to me as such but he told me the story of lord of the rings in segments over a few nights

You don't have to! No one read to be when I was a kid and I devoured books my whole life (until kids and mobile phones, but you get it...). Do what you enjoy. Kids need to see your enthusiasm. Read something you like, or choose a kid's book you like (I liked the gruffalo, for example). Or tell them a story.

if your oldest child is three and you have more than one younger I wonder if it's just the drudgery of small children that is getting to you and for some reason this has projected more on reading than something else? The strategies you listed seem pretty comprehensive I'm not sure there is much more you can do than accept the days feel long but somehow the years then go past quickly and this is like everything just a season. Maybe you need a break and time to feel like you?

I think you should read Night Waking by Sarah Moss, for yourself not to you children!

Oh sorry OP. I kinda know what you mean but I would get new books from the library to mix things up a bit and keep up my interest as well. Surely you like The Gruffalo, no? There are quite a few funny books out there and I'd add different voices or accents for different characters in order to amuse myself and help with the whole process....and found that at times I would end up really enjoying it in the end.
Hope you find a way to make it less painful 🙏🏼

As a Joyce lover this spat is so funny - "bloomless Spring" is a great pun he would have loved it. Blooming in the very lotust and second to nill, Budd! Can we all be friends and read Joyce together?

Joyce also wrote a story for his son you can get free online on Scribd

The Martian, Project Hail Mary and many Discworld books have been great successes with my older son. I'm about to try the Bartimeus trilogy next. They're all adult books but very accessible, although the Martian does have a lot of swearing if that bothers you. There is a Young Readers version with the swearing edited out.