I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

I used to make up stories for my kids quite a lot. My metric, fwiw, is "Give me a character" (eg a dinosaur, a princess, a rabbit). Okay, the robot really, really wants something. What does he want? Then the robot sets off to go to the moon or whatever. He tries three times, the first two times fail and the third time succeeds. (Or he realises he can't go to the moon but he can resolve his desire in some other way eg he goes on holiday instead). This structure generally makes a good story and if you get stuck you can ask your daughter to help. "So he tried doing a big jump but he still couldn't get to the moon. So what did he try next?"
I think if your daughter is this into books, you could probably start her on really simple chapter books with lots of pictures fwiw. Claude the dog or Isadora Moon or the Adventuremice would be my starting point. But maybe save those for when the little ones are asleep.

This is one of the most ridiculous posts I’ve come across. You’re massively over thinking this and letting it get to you. Just read to your children for Christ sake, we don’t always like or enjoy everything we do as parents, but we do it for our Children.
Personally I love reading the Julia Donaldson books the best.

I'd also see if any of your local libraries have storytime. Then some other bugger can do the reading. If your local library doesn't, another one a bit further away might.

My dad used to read books to me that were for older children - books like the Enid Blyton Adventure books. He also read the classics like The Water-babies and Mary Poppins. My mum though- I can honestly never remember her reading a children’s book to me, but she would lay down with me and recite poetry (she loved poetry) or just chat with me quietly. To this day I can still recite the poems!

No, OP would like to share ideas with actual humans.
She's gone into that level of reflection on the issue and effort to "do it right". It's more of an emotional issue rather than just needing suggestions of books. I guess AI can provide emotional therapy too, maybe you might think there's no need for a forum like this. In which case I'm not sure why you're on here.
Pretty much every single post on here could generate some response from AI but generally people are looking for some human connection, for now at least.

My suggestion is The Whales' Song and as she gets older you can read Charlotte's Web and The Wind in the Willows. My DD has loved those from 6. There's a lot of low quality modern children's books around nowadays which I'd try to avoid.

I love room on the broom...I actually often read my kids books to myself 😬 also books I loved as a kid like all the Jill Murphy and Shirley Hughes ones, funny bones etc. Do you just dislike reading OP?
Could you go to the library every couple of weeks and pick out new books together?

My suggestions for books I enjoyed reading are
The Fairytale Hairdresser series
The Church Mice
Hoot Owl
I Can Only Draw Worms
The Man Whose Mother Was a Pirate
I also used to enjoy reading poetry - Nosy Crow do some gorgeous big illustrated poetry books for kids. Probably pitched a bit old for your little kids, but as you've noticed, even babies like beautiful words.
Something I think all parents should be told is that, if you're someone who needs alone time and you can afford it, it's okay to give your kids to a childminder two mornings a week. They are with you 168 hours a week, putting them in childcare for 6 of those hours is fine and it sounds like it might make a huge difference to your well being - which is also important, both for you and for your ability to be a good parent the rest of the time.

You’re massively over thinking this, you don’t need to teach a child to read at 3, just read the book for 2 minutes then move on to something else, you don’t need to record family members reading or have exercises related to the stories. They will learn to read when they start school. Encourage them to play together, you don’t need to be constantly entertaining them for 11 hours a day.

You don’t have to read the same book to them over and over without a break! Just say no to this. Honestly. We’re a very bookish household and read to all of our kids every day, but I would have lost my reason if I’d had to literally finish The Everywhere Bear and then immediately go back to the start and read it again. Read them one book, once, then send them off to do something else. If they want another story later, they pick a different one. It’s bad enough when they want the same story night after night, but multiple times in the same day is madness.

I find this hard to relate to. Some children's books are so lovely. They're like poetry and art. Not every book needs to be Middlemarch!

But having said that, you don't actually have to read them. Your job as a parent is to make sure your child loves books and reads every day. She'll be there soon. I was never read to, but my grandmother used to sing old songs in her language - great sagas!! Or she would recite epic poetry - the old classics in English and her language. I could do the first five stanzas of The Ancient Mariner before I could tell you anything about the three little pigs. We did Keats and TS Eliot and Kipling... I loved it.

But why do you allow repeats? The rule in our house (I am autistic and cannot standing repeating things) is that mummy is happy to read at bedtime but I won’t read the same thing on repeat. There is also a limit on the number of books read: three short or two long. In the daytime we do other things together.

I also find children’s books boring* but the above rules help to make it tolerable.

Edit: Another suggestion is to try graphic novels. My son is five and he and his dad have been reading TinTin together alternating pages between then.

*With the exception of ‘We found a hat’ and its companion books. I laugh every time.

My little girl is 18mo, and I absolutely love some of her books! (Maybe I'm just simple minded lol).

I've noticed some of the books of hers that I love the most are the ones with the silliest stories (because what the heck is going on in Goodnight Moon?!), but also some of the ones with really beautiful illustrations are enjoyable too, because even though the story might not be exciting, they're lovely to flip through and look at. Maybe choose ones you just really enjoy looking at? I love a bit of Jill Murphy, Helen Oxenbury, and Janet & Allen Ahlberg - the illustrations are so detailed, nostalgic and comforting to me.

This seems much bigger than just not liking children’s books.

Instead of focusing on the pleasure your children get from you reading a book or playing with blocks, you’re internally focused on your own displeasure.

You find it all so boring - so what? These things were made for kids you were never meant to find them fun. It’s actually pretty unrealistic to expect to like these things. The issue here seems to be a complete lack of tolerance for things you don’t enjoy.

Life is full of things that we don’t enjoy which we simply have to do (laundry, supermarket shopping, attending parents evening, walk the dog in the rain) or we do for a greater benefit of love and harmony (watching your partner’s choice of film, taking your children to peppa pig world, meeting your mum at a hideously busy garden centre etc).

The people on here accusing you of high drama, I think are trying to make the point that you are treating the fact you don’t like these books as a big problem to solve or fix, rather than simply tolerating it with a smile like most other parents do (because of that greater benefit of our kids pleasure and learning).

Honestly, that level of intolerance comes across a selfish and could really cause you some problems down the line. There’ll be school performances, places your family want to visit, different fads or hobbies your kids will be into etc. And when they get older there’ll be different plans you’ll have to tolerate for Christmas or special occasions, and then there might be grandchildren whose lives you’ll be expected to participating even if it’s inconvenient or boring.

Changing the books you read to something you prefer is actually the worst thing you can do. I’m a psychologist and the research would suggest that repeated exposure to the thing you find difficult while changing your thinking about the task, is the way to build up tolerance and develop tolerance as a skill.

I would very much suggest reading all the books you hate maybe twice in one evening and focus outside of yourself. Focus on doing voices or hamming it up a bit and definitely focus on the pleasure and smiles of your children, letting any thoughts of how bad the book is to float on by. You can’t stop those thoughts, but you don’t have to engage in them. In that moment, your thoughts about what you like or don’t like are not important.

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I think what the previous poster said about making up stories is excellent. My brother ( who is 6 years older than me ) would make up stories at bedtime for me and I loved it, I have very fond memories of it, and I think he enjoyed it, he does this with his son now. I've asked him about where he got his inspiration from and he said often another storyline from a book or film he liked, or sometimes just our day.

I find a lot of the book tedious, but there are a couple of authors I really like. Jon Klassan is fantastic, very few words, but they leave you open to interpretation so you can ask questions after about where they think the rabbit is for example. They are quite dark but what it interesting is how differently your children will interpret them through the ages.
Ross Collins,just straight up fun.
Have you tried the press here books by Herve Tullet. Interactive, perhaps 3 year old can guide younger ones through it....

It'll take me a while to reply to all as I only have a few spare seconds at the moment, but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who've offered suggestions, and to those who have offered opinions about my melodrama that comes in good faith.

Also, I lost the poster that asked about caffeine; unique perspective, thank you! I limit my caffeine at the moment, but I do often wish I could drink more tea. So, probably not a caffeine overexposure, but I am chronically dehydrated, so maybe that's a factor for irritation.

Thank you for the suggestions. I definitely think making things up is a way to go. As previously mentioned, it's not really my forte as I make things too complicated, but perhaps I can get it down with a little more practice. Interactive books are good to have on hand, but they do cause more arguments than the alternative, so they're a bit more limited at home.
How sweet of your brother! You guys had a similar age gap to myself and mine, and I'd be lucky if I got to sit quietly in his room while he played video games. Good times, in their own way.😁

Brilliant idea, thank you, I'll definitely try this with my daughter.
My daughter likes a few chapter books, I think I already mentioned Magic Animal Friends, and she really liked another about a girl who's house was a zoo (can't for the life of me remember what it was called). The main problem with longer books is that, while she can memorise and partially read her the shorter books (like Room on the Broom), chapter books need me to sit down with her for a while without interruption - not really something I get to do with the younger ones around, as they're, of course, not as tolerant of the lack of pictures and can't be engaged in the same way. We do do longer reading at bedtime, though, as you alluded to.

Should have said it was from Oi, Dog, then. Pretty slack referencing.

(/s for the avoidance of doubt!)

What a talent! I suffer from a steadfast connection between my mind and my mouth - often, if I'm thinking about something else while talking, I'll start injecting the thought words into what I'm trying to say. My daughter's very quick to tell me when I'm not reading things right, so I can't fool her 😁

I repeat because it's good for them, it's their favourite thing, and it is a way for everyone to sit peaceably, happily together for a while (barring my tenseness, of course). I don't want them to stop engaging with books, as I'm sure it's a huge factor for why my daughter is as eloquent, well-reasoned, and thoughtful as she is. I would love the same for my other children. Reading was such a good thing for her, and us, broadly, that I want to give the same to the others, and am trying to follow a similar format of no-denial when I'm not busy. I'm just struggling with the amount because it's not about one child anymore, and I've had to go back to baby books I was so relieved to leave behind when she was out of that phase.

It could very well be that this format is no longer workable in out new situation, but if there is a way to keep up with it, I would really, really like to do that.

I've never heard of 'we found a hat', I'll have to look it up, thanks^^

Could be that the books are a focal point for something larger, sure, I'm willing to explore that idea, and these are all reasonable points in abstract, but I think you've got the wrong end of the stick here.

It seems as if you think that I have never, nor will I ever, engage in things that displease me, as if the vast majority of life post-adolescence isn't exactly that. So far I've held down jobs and had healthy, compromise-full relationships with my peers and loved ones. Shock-horror, I even do the laundry, like, regularly, and go to places I don't like with a smile on my face, too!

I think you also seem to miss the point that I engage with this medium so very regularly, that the repetition is the cause of the distaste. I can promise you, I would like to torch books that I have found fun, joyful, and objectively good pieces of art, because of my continuous exposure to them. Avoidance is not an issue I have in this regard. I have reframed, I have diversified, I have done the silly voices, I have taken note of my daughter pointing out connections that are new and fascinating on a developmental level. That does not, that cannot, change the fact that my nerves are red-raw chaffed by reading the same words over, and over, and over again. Bad books, good books, irreverent books, interesting books; all read, all obliged, all the same heap of dread after enough exposure.

Honestly, just get over it. What a ridiculous thing be complaining about. They’re not little for long and soon will be reading themselves. You’ve already spoke about the benefits for your children in the long run so it’s worth any discomfort from yourself. Parenting comes with many ‘unpleasant’ jobs, suck it up!
My dd is into making stories up at bedtime atm. My husband is better at it than I am but she takes the lead most of the time.

Have you brought it up in therapy?