I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

We all have something we have to tolerate. I don’t mind the reading at all. Imaginative play is the hard bit for me. I’m just not very good at it.

I dont think we're supposed to enjoy the books. They're for children.
Were supposed to enjoy sitting and reading to our children and seeing their faces light up to the story.
Although I will say, I love the dinosaur that pooped books 😂

I wonder if reading has become the funnel point for wider frustrations? It sounds like you need to feel intellectually fulfilled and stimulated, and that the amount of your time you give to your children is depleting your sense of intellectual joy? Since it is not just boredom, it is aversion - almost disgust - I wonder if the reading of the books has formed some sort of symbolic connection to loss of self?

How does your DH feel about reading stories? I loved reading to my kids and I loved taking them swimming. My DH HATES both those things so he did them as little as poss
I hated playing cricket with them and rough play/ horsing around so he did those things instead. It's fine to split things sometimes!

I used to change them all to ensure a feminist ending. All the princesses went off to be chemical engineers or something.

You need to read The Paper Bag Princess. I had forgotten about that one.

Oh we had that one and the worst princess. But any Disney shite I would make Belle become an french as a foreign language teacher in Japan and the beast is jailed for imprisoning her.

Sorry, I'm not sure how old your children are, but I did all these with preschoolers.

I loved a good rhyming book.

Gerald was a tall giraffe whose neck was long and slim, but his knees were rather bandy and his legs were awfully thin.

I feel like I'm late to this thread, but I think writing an excellent children's book is one of the hardest and greatest skills. Because you have much fewer words to get the story across.

And the very best can do it in a pleasing lyrical way that children love, and adults enjoy reading, they can add subtle layers just for the adults, have beautiful illustrations - and a satisfying story with a proper beginning middle and end.

I find if I change my mindset to become more childlike, and remember what I enjoyed reading as a child it really helps.

Luckily those of us in our 30s and 40s were very well served in our childhood ,and so a lot of what we read to the DC at that age were books we'd both loved as kids too.

Some examples:

-Hairy Maclairy / Slinki Maklinki
-Anything by Shirley Hughes (I find her writing and illustration so evocative of the era when she was writing, it draws me in every time)
-Anything by Quentin Blake (love Mrs Armitage, he's more than just a good illustrator!)
-Anything by Raymond Briggs (Father Christmas + FC on holiday, Man- and then you get drawn into his exceptional adult books like Ethel and Earnest or When the Wind Blows - not for kids!)
-Anything by Jill Murphy (but especially 5 minutes peace - which I feel will resonate with you right now!)
-Anything by Janet & Allen Ahlberg (the detailed illustrations in Peepo can keep you busy for hours and really evoke the 1940s world of our grandparents. And Each peach pear plum! This book is legendary in its quiet brilliance!)

More recent

Emily Gravett - The odd egg
Ben Blathwayt - Minnow and the bear, or the Cottage by the sea

Some of these books are so good I sometimes read then by myself!

This isn't about the books. Why are you at home SO MUCH that you're reading this much per day?

Go out.

Go to the park, go to playgroup, go to rhyme time, go to the free museum, go anywhere you can! Set up activities at home if you need to but read less.

When DS was 3 we moved on to things like books with chapters eg Enid Brighton / david Walliams / other books that have the traditional chapter format and less pictures more like adult books. He could cope with those. We also mix up with some annuals eg vintage transformers ones and comic book styles like the old tintin books. These seem to work well and aren’t too tedious as adults. However, it’s just like watching a kiddy tv programme, it’s for them, it’s not for us and it’s just something to endure.

Still infinitely preferable to listening to my child sound out phonics.

Don't do David walliams!

Zone out. I can read a children’s book out loud while thinking about a ton of other stuff in my ‘adult brain’. Sometimes I’m amazed that I’ve just read 4 pages as I basically have no memory of it even though I did it perfectly and with emphasis. It’s like when you drive and know the route so well you can do it while also having other complex thoughts

I think you mean: "it's not about being comfortable, it's about doing the right thing."

Ask your partner to do storytime if you really can’t stand it. But unfortunately, either you or he has to do it. It’s just one of those things you need to suck up and get on with. It’s 10 minutes of your day, not 10 hours.

OP, I see someone else has suggested wordless books, but I will echo this suggestion! They're great - you can change the story, make it as short or long as you want. Bonus if there are lots of details to look at, like in Professional Crocodile. The Meg and Mog books are not wordless, but they're fairly scanty and you can dress them up or down for older/younger audiences.

I do sympathise - I'm only on my first child (and she's only 1), but I can already recite a couple of hundred picture books from memory. I do sometimes hide my least favourite ones. Kudos to you for sticking with it - I don't know if I'll be able to muster up as much enthusiasm when reading those same books to a second child, let alone a third or fourth.

No, I meant what I said. The quote is from Oi Dog rather than Oi Frog, but I think of the whole series as one thing, really.

I have an 18 month old and I VERY quickly realised, from reading to him when he was small, the repetition of things like "thats not my" made me want to gouge out my own eyes

Ive gone for a lot of the "classics" I loved as a child. I absolutely will not read mind numbing baby books

I absolutely have to like the characters and there must be a story where something actually happens. I also have to be entertained by the story and like the illustrations

Can highly recommend

*Hairy Mclary - lots of more adult posh words, love it and the illustrations are lovely. I dont even like dogs, but they've probably become my favourite series

*Mog (just not goodbye Mog or ill be crying)

*The crocodile who came for dinner and others in the series

*The Gruffalo series

*What the ladybird heard

*Ive asked my parents to get him a Percy the Park Keeper bundle for xmas

*Kipper - some are hit and miss and it infuriated me a ridiculous amount Kipper looked something up on his ipad, given the bundle was celebrating "30 years of Kipper" why not his encyclopedia. Kippers toy box and Kippers birthday party are good

*Some of the Osborne farm tales - again hit and miss but Pig gets Stuck is a delightful one. Also I didnt realise, they have a single sentence the child can read then a longer sentence/small paragraph that builds on it for the adult

*surprisingly, some of the Peppa books are quite nice to read, and cover the thats not my inclusion of textures for them and lift the flaps. Bluey however was one that made me want to rip out my eyes

*I dont know if they still do them, but what about Old Bear stories?

The works is good for groups of books and the 3 for £5 section, BUT theres a lot of wokeness even in books for toddlers. You have to sift through this.

Farmer duck (subversive)
Where the wild things are

some things that have helped me
Sometimes I put one AirPod in with an audio book or podcast, and I read book after book after book. My brain isn’t registering any of the words and my dc love it.
I buy new books constantly so at least there’s some I don’t know word for word yet in the rotation.
I ask tons of questions, ask dc what’s going to happen next, talk about the illustrations the story what they would do etc. even before they could answer, id just chat to myself then, just to slightly engage my brain a bit.
i ask them to read to me, and I quite like listening to their interpretation of the illustrations / memory of the story.
I have a personal rule that I won’t read the same book more than twice in one sitting and more than 4 times in a day.
sometimes I suggest we read our books together. And I give them a book and I read a book I like and we cuddle up. I never get far but they’re happy and I’m not reading where’s Mrs Cow, again for 5minutes

Brilliant.

sorrry I think you need to get a grip and tolerate reading children’s books

Agreed! Such a weird over reaction to reading!

Make up hinterlands for the characters in your own head. For instance, DH and I have decided that Miss Plum owns Scarface Claw (and that's why she has to be so terribly nice and helpful to everyone, because she owns the village terror of a cat). Also, in The Smartest Giant in Town, the animals are all in league with the clothes shop owners to scam the giant (how else do they know about the old sandals and gown?!)

And look forward to the days of more complex books, which honestly you can start way earlier than many people would say. I cannot tell you how much my 4 and 5 year olds enjoyed The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - they absolutely loved it. What worked for us there was starting things like MIlly Molly Mandy, My Naughty Little Sister, Olga da Polga and Danny Fox early so they got used to the idea of chapter books.