I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

I hates it too so we only read at bedtime and on rainy days. I love reading generally and have 100s of books in the house.

Stop over thinking it! Just do it less if you hate it that much. Both mine have grown into keen and excellent readers, with outstanding vocabulary. Eldest doing A level Eng lit.

At one point I got so bored I made up bedtime stories myself rather than suffer another inane kids books: they bloody loved it! Do that instead.

Honestly, I think this is just one of the parts of parenting that you just have to suck up because it's important for your children.

I happen to like children's books, but playdoh and similar activities feel incredibly tedious to me. I just put on a happy face and get on with it because it's good for fine motor skills and they enjoy it.

You can feel sorry for yourself and complain about it, or just accept it's part of life. I find it easier to just accept I'm not going to enjoy every part of parenting (and occasionally promise myself a treat for when they're in bed to make up for it).

You are massively over-thinking this and as a result making it harder for yourself through over-focus.

We all have bits of parenting we like and those we like less. You don't like reading age-appropriate books- that's completely fine. Just think of it as a short part of the day that isn't about what you like but about achieving an aim that you think is worthwhile. I hate taking the bins out but I imagine I'd hate it more if I'd spent hours trying to make myself like it, bought hundreds of different bin bags, analysed all the different kinds of bin I could potentially use, crowd-sourced advice on how to get through it, and still after all that found that I didn't like it.

It sounds like what is particularly frustrating for you is the gulf between what you value about reading (interesting, thought-provoking) and how you experience reading children's books (boring and frustrating). Would it be possible to mentally reframe reading with your kids as just another activity you do together, like Lego or having a snack or going to the park (which are also not that thought-provoking). So a time to cuddle up and spend some time together doing something they enjoy, rather than "reading" with a capital R? Not sure if I am making my point well, but hopefully you get it!

I also agree about not overthinking it - I think it's easy to fetishise reading as THE activity. When I'm around other parents of teenagers, we often laugh about how seriously we took reading, art, going outside with our kids and now all they want to do is rot on a screen!

They aren’t supposed to entertain you, they are for the children. You make them fun and interesting by how you interact with the book and your children.

Perhaps ChatGPT can suggest something?

Sure, the storylines are necessarily very simplistic. But having a quiet moment cuddled up with a small child, doing silly voices, answering the mad questions they come up with... I loved it.

Oh, get over yourself, OP. I have four degrees in English Lit and teach Finnegans Wake to postgraduates, and I was still able to cope with Room on the Broom without this level of melodrama.

Most of us had aspects of parenting that we found tedious. There's no way round really, you just have to grin and bear it, plough on through.

My Dad used to make up his own stories for us when we were children. He was good at it and we loved it. My FIL was apparently the same when DH and his siblings were small. They loved it too. I remember FIL as a grandfather to our children also telling them his own stories. To rapt attention too. 😃

Perhaps try doing that. No need for all this drama.

Just got to wait until they are older. Encourage them to listen to stories instead of just looking at pictures and then move on to actual books.

The hobbit, Harry Potter, the bfg, the famous five etc. have all gone down well my son this year, and I've enjoyed reading them again as well.

Also, and I know this isn't for everyone, but graphic novels, comics, manga etc. are great because they are visual and exciting, but you get to introduce extended stories where characters grow over chapters and multiple books, instead of the story just being done in 20 pages.

This sounds exhausting. You are way overthinking this, over engineering it, and turning it into a big chore. Maybe you need to just accept that you don’t love it but it’s a good thing to do so just get on with it. You do not have to love it. You also don’t have to read every time they ask you can say no and redirect. Pick a time that’s ’reading time’ and that’s enough. It’s a few minutes.

Is reading a cosy cuddly time with the children? Maybe they like that connection with you and it’s not solely about the books, perhaps you could connect and have closeness in a different way instead sometimes?

You could also try accents, funny voices, make a story up, try a story massage? You could watch CBeebies bedtime stories together once in a while?

But I do think it’s just something you need to crack on and do. You’re reading way too much into it pun intended

I love reading. I try to steer towards good quality books that I enjoy too, but when I am asked to read absolute trash books my trick is that I can read the books aloud without processing the words and think about something else at the same time. It’s helpful when we’re reading a Paw Patrol book, like ‘Pups save pool day!’ for the thousandth time. But also, try to chill out about it, and don’t do it so much if you hate it, daily bedtime reading is fine - just do puzzles or craft or something you like instead.

Do you have any favourite books from your own childhood? I have read a load of absolute nonsense to my DD but also read a lot of my own favourites which became hers. I could recite various Mog books from memory by the time she was about 1. They held a special place in my heart before that but now even more so. It's also a challenge to recite rather than read. Your kids can chip in as they get older with the lines you forget.

Also I second the making stories up yourself idea. Yes, you don't get the pictures or to see the words but you don't have to stop reading actual books completely. Your kids can draw what they think your characters look like if they like (my DD did that occasionally). We were making up stories together until she was about 9 or 10 (but we also read to her at bedtime until about that age, too).

I do agree that if you want to keep reading to all of your children then a complete change of mind-set is needed by you. Easier said than done but some rules around how many times/what times you will read, and even what books you will read and then add in other less tedious to you reading related activities like you already do with the facts and the quizzes).

Hope it helps.

Mine are now 25, 14 and 10 and I found reading seriously boring at times but honestly, I’d give my right arm to be sat on the edge of their bed tonight with them being little again waiting for me to read them a story 😢

Yes, I think you may be right here - I get what you mean exactly.

I think this is just a pinch-point for the same sentiment I have about much of parenting young children. I really like them, and I really like seeing them grow, but there are very few activities on their level that I enjoy engaging with. My daughter and I are at a point where we can do things together, with communicated collaboration, and that's fun, but trying to build a block train station with the smaller ones around is a bit closer to pulling teeth. The solace of books is that everyone can engage without tears and destruction. It's a waiting game, I guess, and books require more time than blocks. I suppose this is the sorest spot because, as mentioned, it's their favourite thing to do. I spend 11 straight hours alone with these guys, often more, and a fair chunk of those hours I'm being accosted with a book that lasts about forty seconds, so it's a lot to re-read and they're often reluctant to move on.

Making up stories is a brilliant idea - I definitely need the practice. I did try for a while when my daughter was younger, but I think I made the stories too complicated for her interest and got lost in explaining things. She'd ask what a word or concept meant and then I'd go on a tangent about it. Poor girl 🙃She still asks about words so hopefully it's not all been dull though.

I moved them all onto Ladybird reading books like Topsy and Tim, fairytales, "classic" children's books i used to like etc. I got rid of the really boring ones !

Most of them had puzzles and games at the back that got tedious on redoing but great for comprehension and learning to read (the topsy and Tim ones especially)

Yoto player great too.

I remember reading Telephone Ted 20292819202 times to my eldest. It's funny now but at the time I could have cried reading it again. Often I'd do different accents or pretend to be on a stage show reciting Shakespeare and mentally zone out

Oh, I love a quiet moment, especially on a rainy day-- it's more hour 3, day 10 of 'Five Little Ghosts' that makes me want to claw my eyes out. My younger ones don't mind if I swap the words for my own amusement, but my oldest doesn't particularly like it if I'm not reading 'correctly' 😅

I found books we all liked - I also enjoyed doing the voices etc -they are 18,22 and 24 now and kept their favourites which I still have to read now and then after a few wines!

Stop over thinking it!

We even have a cat called Not Now Bernard!

Have you seen thr story cubes you can buy? You roll them and make up a quick story with the cubes saying character, actions, setting etc. We did that at bedtime sometimes too or during the day
Then I might lead them on to colouring or playdoh together the world/story we made, then leaving them to it hopefully

That's fair; you could get through Room on the Broom. Couldn't get through a stranger's internet post, though, could you? 🤔

Massively Over Thinking
You’ve got kids just read to them at bedtime

Are there any books you enjoyed as a young child? Maybe you could revisit them. It’s surprising how many long-forgotten memories they can evoke.

Otherwise, I asked my DDs the occasional question to check their understanding and had some rather original responses, which was fun. I read familiar books for the umpteenth time whilst thinking of other things. I sometimes read Fireman Sam books in a truly terrible attempt at a Welsh accent. I read Rosie’s Red Boots to the rhythm of Ernie the Fastest Milkman in the West. I found that surprisingly enjoyable.

My enjoyment of reading to my toddler is from LOs response to the book, not the book itself! We are working on, once a week "mummy and daddy lie on the sofa with a book for a bit and toddler looks through their own picture book". Mixed success so far.

That's an extraordinary amount of effort to avoid reading a few pages. I am 100% certain your energy is best spent elsewhere.