I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

Interesting, please elaborate.

Some very outdated questionable lines in some of our childhood classics, esp milly molly mandy 🤣🫢 I started to read it then adjusted it as dc looked at me like what??!!

I’m dying to know what you found wrong in Milly Molly Mandy.

Click Clack Moo, about collective action on a farm was my favourite children's book. But yes, most are awful and DH took over bedtime reading for many years. And its the one you hate the most they always love the most.

How can use dis the very hungry caterpillar. Great book. Although i get what you mean reading, baking, play dough, painting i enjoy but imaginary play/ dress up i hate i just find it so boring

You're right, so long ago, I may be thinking of My Naughty Little Sister (a favourite pf my own as a child) where the mother frequently threatens to smack the sister when she gets filthy or ruins clothes.

Some that are more fun to read:

The Book with No Pictures (under 6s)
Mr Gum books (6+)

I agree you're overthinking things - sometimes with stuff I didn't enjoy, like playing with my kids or going to the swimming pool I realised I just had to make the effort to enjoy it. Constantly thinking about how much I hated it just made it all harder and once I abandoned that it was fine.

That says, I hated cheap, badly written books where, for example , the rhymes didn't bloody scan. I can't imagine how much worse this has got with relatives probably buying awful AI kids books off Amazon!

It was my favourite thing to do with my two children but mine were in nursery from 9 months old so I hadn't had the number of hours with them that you have. I do have a range of recommendations but I'm hesitant to share them as I'm not sure they'll prove to be a game changer. All I can say is keep with it if you can. Reading has enormous benefits and as a secondary teacher I can definitely tell those that read at home routinely. Also, for what it's worth, you are never lonely with a book and how lovely it will be for them to have that comfort in their lives.

It sounds like you spend a huge amount of time reading to then (which is great but then no wonder it's driving you mad).
Perhaps you need a rough weekly schedule with more variety (and less reading)?
So Monday - jungle jims/music class then playground
Tues - tots tumble then reading in the afternoon
Weds - rhyme time at the library then playground /walk
Thursday - supernarket day. Picnic in the park
Friday - am arts and crafts, pm playground etc?
If you take them to little music groups /reading great the library you can outsource some of the entertainment at often little cost and it will also be stimulating their brains.
You can then focus on reading maybe half an hour after lunch before the afternoon activity and half an hour at bedtime or something?
You don't need to read to them on demand all day. There's lots of other things that can stimulate them and give you a break.

Lots of ways you can make story telling and reading more fun. I used to make up stories for my children. Look at the pictures together and get them to help you make one up. If you find a new book; just read the first couple of pages and get them to draw pictures, write, build with lego, play dough, random toys to predict what's going to happen next. Think of a story they know well - eg goldilocks and tell the story in your own words, see how long it takes them to recognise the book. Find a book they have pretty much memorised and tell the story wrong, get them to spot the mistakes - i went to the zoo .... they sent me an elephant...he was too slippery.

As they get bigger you could introduce a small amount of kids tv such as one episode of fireman Sam or number blocks a week.

Will they be going to playgroup or a little nursery at all? That will help then with literacy and numeracy as well as socialising (and give you a little break).
Don't forget audio books count too.

You sound burnt out by it all.

Take care.

Forgot to add I used to sweeten things up a little for my library trips with a trip to the coffee shop where we would have a treat. A frothy coffee is still a luxury I enjoy. We’d pop in with our library books and they would have a babyccino or something similar. I’d often get talking to fellow customers and that would help keep me sane.

Find a copy of "Sam Pig and his fucking Fiddle. Read it once and every other children's book will seem like a massive treat.

I expected to love reading to my kids, but baby books…. I swear I’d rather deal with a poonami up the back than ever read a baby book, ever again.

I moved them onto good books asap. Mog is pretty entertaining, and Hairy Maclary was a good rhythm for reading. But I’d happily burn all the rest.

Now mine are 14 and 11 and I am still reading to both. Harry Potter when they’re together, Tamora Pierce for the 14yo and Jurassic Park for the 11yo. Much more interesting!

Yes, that sounds more like My Naughty Little Sister!
Milly Molly Mandy is pretty much perfect and would never do anything to get smacked, and the adults around her are all very nice too.
There is one story where some bigger boys come and break things but I expect they end up apologising.

Sorry OP but I think you need to get over yourself a bit. The books and the cuddles are important for your kids as are lots of things that you might not necessarily choose to do. Encourage the reading because it is brilliant and will open doors for your kids. If you don't enjoy kid's books there's probably no magic books that are going to make you love it. This won't be forever. Before you know it you'll be dying for your kids to be little again and snuggling under a blanket with you and a book and a cuppa.

This is upsetting you to an unusual degree - instead of trying to make those feelings manageable, why not investigate what's causing such a big emotional reaction and then hopefully the feelings will resolve?

There's potentially an emotional root to your stance.

It's the person you are reading it to who matters most.

Astonishingly, a two-year will get more out of The Gruffulo that the multi-layered, multi-faceted and complex themes in War and Peace. It's what their mind can take in.

There are good kid's books and bad ones. Make sure you find the ones your little ones like best.

Agree. And it's okay to hide the book that's driving you round the twist ("No-Bot the robot with no bottom" ended up on the highest shelf because it was so awful).

It's very much sounding like you're just at the end of your rope rather than actually hating books, OP, though it's taken a while for that to come through. You can be firm with a boundary: "one book, and then [something else]", or "this is the last time". Just because your children are very young doesn't mean you have to do what they want all the time.

I recommend doing voices for the characters simply because it can make it more entertaining for you. In our house The Bad-tempered Ladybird sounds like Russell Crowe, because every time we read it DH and I think of the South Park episode with Crowe "fighting round the world". Izzy Gizmo's grandad has a broad Yorkshire accent. All whales are Welsh. Some dragons have a Welsh accent too (especially Zog). Think of a backstory that makes it more engaging - as far as I'm concerned Fox's Socks is about the morning after a wild night of cross-species sex, and Mouse is totally fine while Fox is hungover and a bit shell shocked.

Stick it out. Before too long they'll be reading meatier books.

A good book of nursery rhymes is worth getting too. Singing them can be fun. We have this book, the illustrations are lovely.
www.amazon.co.uk/Lavenders-Blue-Book-Nursery-Rhymes/dp/0192782258

I know others have mentioned it, but I really think it would help to get library books to help with variety, as a big part of your problem seems to be having to read the same books over and over. I also suggest getting rid of your most disliked books. As a retired teacher, I have seen plenty of children’s books that were not really worthy of being published.

This is going to sound really strange and may be entirely irrelevant, but, how much caffeine do you consume per day?

I found that when I was consuming copious amounts of caffeine to "get through the day", it just made me not have time or patience for anything or anyone. I found playing a lot of games with my kids and dog annoying and tedious and was just putting on a happy face while dying inside and waiting for it to end. Like such a mental focus on anything I was doing to the point that it wasn't normal and hindered my ability to actually really do/enjoy anything.

I stopped doing loads of caffeine and all of that went away. The mental angst just vanished. I was able to sit and spend time with them and play with them without feeling dread and constantly dying for it to be over. I'm so glad I figured it was that. Previously it was like I.e my DS would want me to chase him (probably my most hated activity), I'd do it for like 3 or 4 times then be like right I'm done. Now I can do it for so long and actually enjoy the time, not rushing for it to end.

It may not be the problem for you whatsoever, but thought I would mention it just in case; it's something to consider. Didn't want to be another attacking or "go to the library" comment.

Do accents. Get really good at them. If you let your child choose which accent they might allow it.

If you speak another language then practise translation in your head while you read aloud. Or start learning a new one and just pick odd key words to mentally test yourself on as you go.

Think about etymology.

Meditate and connect and try and let go of the need for constant mental stimulation.

If it makes you feel any better, mine are teens now and it has been many years since we've read the younger children's books, but the other day one of them said something that instantly made me think of "We're going on a bear hunt" and before we all knew it, there I was reciting the entire book word for word. They both turned round and said "eurgh, please stop, that book's so boring!". They loved it as babies/toddlers!
I now miss the days of reading those asinine books. Turns out that "one more" read through of Tyrannosaurus Drip is a lot much manageable than one more chapter of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! Although both of mine can and do obviously confidently read to themselves, my youngest in particular still enjoys sharing a book together and it is nice to still snuggle up in the evening and read to him (although I always download the audible as well, because sometimes I really can't be bothered to read out loud for an hour!)

My three year old loves Janet and Allan Ahlberg books, and John Burningham books. Have you read any of those? They are priceless and always lift me up a bit.

He even likes Beatrix Potter, which I also like. Thought some are better than others (Squirrel Nutkin is a dud). My partner hates them though and can't see that point. It's because he's Italian and they don't have anything like it Italy so he just can't relate.

I totally feel you, though. When my LO pulls out the Peppa Pig books, I have to suppress a groan. Peppa’s Highland Games, Peppa Goes to London, Peppa’s Dragon Adventure — all terrible. Peppa la Sirena (Peppa the Mermaid) is a bit more interesting, and reading it in Italian takes the edge off the boredom because at least I’m having to engage a different part of my brain, rather than just dying inside as I read the same mind-numbing prose for the hundredth time.

Judith Kerr isn't bad either and I'm actually looking forward to when he's a more advanced reader so he can pick up When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit.