I Hate Children's Books. Please Help.

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hello everyone! A long while ago, I asked for advice about reading to my daughter, who, at the age of around one, loved books to the point of obsession. Well, I'm a mother of multiple now, and all of my children love books (which is a blessing, I know, and one that I have worked hard to cultivate).

However, I hate, I really, really hate reading to them. I find it absolutely unbearable even though it is the thing that they would have me do most.
The first time I read some asinine plot about a bus going round and round, or a witch losing her hat from her broom, or an elephant rolling in fruit to disguise himself, that is the last time I will willingly engage in the content. It is dull; even the ones that I like are terribly, terribly dull. Following the advice I received from the last thread, in conjunction with the steps I was already taking with my daughter, I have tried to make it better for everyone by doing the following:

• I read books that are recommended as 'good' buy other adults, books that I like the style of, or books that I think have profound or important messages (not exclusively, as I let the children choose often, but it's something)
• We rotate our books, and at this point have entered the hundreds at home.
• We go to the library multiple times a week to pick up new books
• We employ audiobooks
• I've had family members record their voice reading some books and use those on special occasions
• I read them more adult content that aligns more closely with what I find tolerable. This used to work well, but now they have little interest and express as much.
• I am focusing hard on teaching my daughter to read so that she doesn’t need me to read for her in the future. It is going quite well, but she isn't there yet. She is three, for context.
• I encourage her to read to her siblings, which works some of the time, but I'm not going to push the issue if she doesn't want to.
• We use interactive books, with puzzles or magnets etc. so they get something out of it even when I'm not in a position to read.Though these mostly just end up on the floor, torn or chewed.
• I quiz the children about the book afterward to extend the time away from the page but still engage them in the narrative.
• We have a lot of non-fiction so at least we can memorise facts together, and that feels a little more substantial than Fairy Mary finding a magic gem or whatever. Obviously, there is a general preference for Fairy Mary.

The problem is that they're children's books, you know? They're four to ten pages long, comprised of about three sentences, and are about as thought-provoking as banging my head against a brick wall. Even less so when I've read the thing fifty times. It doesn't matter that it's been in the cupboard for six months, as soon as it makes a return I want to burn it. I lasted longest with the woodland treasury stories - things like Beatrix Potter or Foxwood, but they're hard to get through with the younger ones and even those are painfully repetitive now.

I know they're good for my children, and that that I need to suck it up as a parent. I know it's worthwhile. I know, I know... But Christ, I've been doing this for years and it only gets more hateful. I sometimes get snappy with my son because I just don't want to read Flapacadabra-bloody-dinosaur for the eighth time that morning. I'm not as patient with my younger children as I was with my daughter and it doesn't feel like good bonding because I am visibly tense throughout the whole engagement. What can I do, here? How can I hate this less?

OP, I do get much of what you say. Few of us would actually choose to read children's books for ourselves. They are aimed at the limited concentration abilities etc. of a very young child, making them tedious for adults but as they are useful for the child we suck it up in short bursts. Plenty of pictures, repetition for learning, and no intricate plotlines because small children just don't have the concentration span yet for them.

If you think these books are tedious (they can be) then just wait until your child is learning to read at school! Those starter books with the repetition in them with bore the absolute crap out of you but you'll be able to see how they are a necessary foundation to allow your child to progress.

Before you know it after that though, they'll be able to read for themselves, even if at first they don't make that leap. I remember being somewhere just short of my seventh birthday (I think, it was rather a long time ago now) and taking "The Magic Faraway Tree" to my mother, asking her to read it to me. She was a schoolteacher herself and explained to me that as I could now read most books in school without any issue then I would probably find that I could read this one myself too, though she would help or explain anything I wasn't sure of. I went away and found that lo and behold, I could read books at home too, not just school ones (which I was getting bored with by then myself). It was a revelation to six year old me and a relief to my parents, I am sure. Never looked back.

It's just for a few short years, though feels like an eternity while you are in it. You do just have to plod on with a good grace though, as I am sure you are. You are starting to set out the building blocks for your child's education and future and these do need to be fixed into place. I promise you won't regret it. The relief will come for you, just not yet as your child is simply not ready. Few three year olds are so you are in the thick of it.

I love this post and I also agree that everyone has stuff they just grit their teeth and get through. For me, it’s role play. I absolutely hate it. Reading is my favourite thing, I really love children’s books, I am enthusiastic about arts and crafts, cooking, outdoors but role play makes me shrivel up. I used to literally set a timer on my phone for 10 mins when DD1 wanted to do role play so I knew I just had to make it till it went off. Thankfully with DD2, DD1 fulfils all her role play needs!

Definitely. Reading poetry is fun to do with children too.

I recommend "I want my hat back" by Jon Klassen to all parents. It's absolutely fantastic, makes me laugh every time. If anything it's a book for adults more than for children, imo. There are so many wonderful children's books out there.

What have I just read. OP can you really not just accept reading is a part of child development and that all your children liking books is a good thing. Would it help to reframe it as this is you teaching your children not about you reading books you don’t like.

One of my favourite things to do is read with my children and to see the joy they get from books - it’s not the books themselves it’s about seeing them growing from reading developing interests in characters and themes understanding new concepts and applying them to other settings like imagery play.

I thought you were being a bit dramatic, then I remembered I'd rather punch myself in the face than read 'We're going on a Bear Hunt' again, and I sympathised.

I don't feel like that about many children's books thank god, because we do a lot of reading and my littlest is a big repeater too. But Bear Hunt just gets under my skin like nothing else. Sympathies if you feel that way about most books out there!

I get on really well with the beautifully illustrated ones - the Foxwood Treasury is stunning, as well as the classic fairy tales. I do have to be a bit more on guard with them as my son is a bit hands-y, though. But even they wear thin after a time. My DP is happy to read, and often does when he's home, it's just the lion's share of the day that gets to me. I've had my son try and put 'that's not my owl' in my food while I'm grabbing a late lunch, baring in mind I've just read it five times, and that makes me a bit snappy.

My daughter is fun to talk to most of the time, but I'd be lying if I said it was the most intellectually stimulating period of life I've ever lived. 😅

Best comment!

How ridiculous OP - get a grip!

My kids are teenagers now and what I wouldn't give to curl up again with their three year old selves and sniff their heads reading Tiddler or Not Now, Bernard or The Tiger Who Came to Tea! But what jumped out of your post, OP, was the eleven straight hours on your own with small children. The toddler years can really wear a person down - is the book thing actually about the books or because the books come in the evenings and are the last thing between you and bedtime? I remember on my working days I would enjoy the bedtime stories more than on my non-working days when I was much more likely to hand off bath and stories to my husband so that I could go and stare at a wall for a bit. Much easier to find cuddly story time adorable when you haven't spent all day wrangling toddlers! (I do want to borrow yours now for nostalgic purposes btw)

Absolutely, I agree that it's crucial for them, and sometimes there's a spark of joy when my daughter connects dots across books she couldn't when we read them months ago, it really is the repetition that's draining me here.

Again, I will state clearly for, not you specifically, but the general response of 'it's not about you, children's books are important': Children's books are not lesser, children's books are not bad, children's books are important for my children and can even be thoroughly enjoyable. The first time. Maybe even the tenth.

I am only asking what, while I continue to read age-appropriate books to my children - and I will continue to read age-appropriate books for my children, no matter how I feel about it -, what strategies I can employ such that I may feel more positively about cracking out the same book the 100th time as my children so love me to do, and I love them enough to agree to.

Tbh sounds more like your children want you to read all day and you aren't getting enough time to yourself or aren't confident saying no and setting them up independent play. Do they do other things or play other stuff with you? I know it's hard when the younger ones are in godzilla mode. But perhaps they've learned mum time is reading time or the best chance of sitting still attention? Just wondering out loud.

And if they come in when you're eating lunch or on the loo and stove a book in your face, what do you do? Because you make it sound like you read it anyway? Hopefully not!

Do you do any quiet time if they don't nap? Or any DVD or listen yoto/radio time while mummy does jobs/eats/drinks hot tea? It sounds like you need a bit more of rest time. X

Thank God. I don't have these qualifications but love reading myself (not trash; lots of classics) and I absolutely adore children's books - I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with me.

I love doing the voices, the faces and ham acting; I love the rapt expressions children have when they listen to a really good storyteller who doesn't just read with a flat expression and no voices/ faces/ ham acting (OK that's arrogant of me but I know I entertain children when I read, and I become one of the rapt when in the presence of a good storyteller, like at the library where there was this amazing guy who read each week and was a local hero as a result).

I admit that some repetitive stories, like Chicken Licken or The Elephant and the Bad Baby, can get tedious after a while, but there are so many moving or thought provoking ones out there. And I will also say that it's really easy for children's stories to be shit: I think that some writers assume child audience = easy to do, just like many people think e.g. (some) modern art = anyone can chuck a load of paint at a canvas, but in truth good children's writers and modern artists have immense amounts of talent and skill. I hated reading 'The Bravest Ever Bear', I also hate schmultz or brainwashing (such as that hideous book that people rave about that's supposed to hypnotise your child into sleeping).

But the best children's books stay with me for ages. If you're numbering 100s at home and going to the library then you are likely to have loads that I would rate/ enjoy reading, so there's probably no hope. Get into giving a 'show' every time and then your delight will come from the children and not the material. Do you like fantasy? My dad and I both love this genre and he was an amazing and enthusiastic storyteller; maybe it's easier for people who can get 'lost' in a strange world to enjoy this branch of fiction more.

Apologies if it's been said, but there's that book 'Why You Should Read Children's Books, Even Though You Are So Old and Wise' by Katherine Rundell that's supposed to be thought-provoking.

I must be in the minority, I love reading them to my dcs. It is so sad that one is now too old and doesn't want to anymore! I agree some of the stories I hate, but we have acouple of great ones (their favorites), and in a blink of an eye this time will be over. I am pleased I didn't know when jt would be the last time with my oldest, dc's favourite little book we read every night and both knew all of the words to.😭

The one thing that does annoy me is that everybody seems to write kids books now, and think they're goung ro be the next JK Rowling. These are people with no literally experience, no experience at all with any kids. It seems like they're trying to make a quick buck. There was one on Amazon recently that people complained was written by A.I ffs!

Thank you for your sympathies. It is draining, but my children are wonderful, so I take great care in trying to limit my own frustrations with the inevitabilities with raising them; hence asking for help. I find much of their play dull as dishwater and get on with it as best I can, it's just that books take up a huge part of their interest, and I have to be an active participant in a way that I don't have to be with, say, building blocks, drawing, or pushing trains around. Obviously, we get out the house often, but even then my daughter asks to go to the library or wants to bring a book with her to the park.
Books are constant throughout the day; they use their bookshelf like a fruit bowl, and unless I'm busy with something important, or I really am at my wit's end, I oblige them. I try and limit it to three reads of the same book in a row, though.

You can borrow them, I could do with a week off! 😁

I love reading to the DC and I'm delighted my 9yo is still really into it. I'll be sad the day she's says she doesn't want me to read.

Are you a SAHP/on mat leave? Books are a great way for us to spend some time together at the end of the day after we've been at work/school/nursery/activities. There are days now when we have very little time together so it's a joy. I was less enthusiastic about reading the Acorn Wood series multiple times in a row after dealing with a 3yo terrible toddler and a grumpy baby for a 14 hour shift of parenting and knowing that the living room a bomb site of Duplo.

Boundaries are lax where they're so young, it's true. My eldest is a lot more respectful of the alone-time sentiment as is happy to leave me alone for a time to build stuff, watch a film, or even just 'read' the books she's memorised. My son will take 'no' or 'later' very gracefully, most of the time, he just thinks that means 'try again in 30 seconds'!. No, I don't read to them on the toilet or anything, but they will still ask, and I will typically oblige when the task is done. They're happy to go off and play together for a while, too, so long as I'm nearby to handle injuries or frequent disputes, but this doesn't last long as my son, in particular, is very attached and would like to be on my lap as much as possible.

Quiet time is variable by the day, but not impossible. I usually have a cup of tea, do some independent work, and then I'm ready to deal with what comes for another few hours before the literary chafing (and rear-cleaning, and hungry-whining etc.) begins again!

I know I'll enjoy reading to them more as they're older, it's very much a waiting game. And yes, I'm a SAHP with a living room in disgrace and Cat's Cookbook on tap like a cheap bitter down the local 😬

Read them poems sometimes?

I suppose it’s like many other parts of motherhood - it takes sacrifice… Do you like getting up at night? Do you like handling dirty nappies? Do you enjoy looking after little ones whilst heavily pregnant? You get the picture…

It's not a sacrifice, it's a trade-off. You give up sleep and comfort because you actively chose to care for a child who depends on you. Framing routine care as a sacrifice just sets up an unpayable debt for things children never asked for.

Interesting insights here, thank you. I think there may be a schism in understanding between the issue I'm having, and the assumptions people are making about my opinion of children's books writ large. My issue is that I have very young children, and that the books they are interested in are not beautiful, classical children's books as much as they are 'Spot's Birthday', or 'Busy park, lift the flaps!', about 50 times a day. My eldest daughter is more than happy to engage with books that I'm much softer with and find easier, and are closer to what I think you're describing. If it were just that, I would find things a lot more tolerable. Hell, even the Magic Animal Friends chapter books that she likes are basically Dickens comparative to 'Where's Mr. Unicorn?'. I have no issue with children’s books, or voices, or anything like that. But there are only so many times these books can be read, even the good ones, before I find not so much charming as I do hateful. For Peter Rabbit it might take 20 reads, for 'That's not my shark!' It might take one. My opinion does not devalue the book, but it sure would be nice to enjoy the time with my children more by finding ways we can all be happy while I feign surprise that this, is not, in fact, the correct shark, and marvel at how very bumpy his fin is.

It's true I'm not much one for putting on a show, though I do. I like fantasy, sort of, not so much in recent years as I prefer looking at the history, allegory, and context of them, but that includes analysing the original tales so I quite like reading the older stuff. My personal reading habits have always skewed non-fiction, though, even at the height of my fantasy reading.

As for poetry, it is a good suggestion that has been mentioned a few times, and we do have poetry books. They're not as interesting to my daughter as she seems to like narrative and character interaction a lot, but a poem only lasts a few seconds against a reading appetite of hours. It works, especially for the younger ones, but ultimately wears in the same way that longer books do. We sing our favourite songs and I read out the lyrics like a poem sometimes, but again, even songs I've loved for decades are now worn and dull to me because of the repetition.

You sound very detached from your children. Maybe start with that.

I remember ‘losing’ The Highway Rat for a few days as I was so sick of reading it multiple times throughout the day! 😂

Other than that I didn’t mind reading to them but I seriously hated the crappy role play games. ‘Let’s play shops, Mummy’ would fill me with dread! 😬😂

Try vintage fiction? My Naughty Little Sister, Enid Blyton, E Nesbitt, Richmal Crompton, Edward Ardizzone etc? Some (most) of it will go over the kids' heads, sure, but it'll be more enjoyable for you.

If anyone is curious, by the way, here is a short list of books that lasted longer than average for me, because I think they're genuinely good and my children love them:
The Foxwood Treasury
Nothing, Mick Inkpen
Construction, Sally Sutton
It Could Have Been Worse, A. H. Benjamin
Sharing a Shell, Julia Donaldson
We're Going on a Ghost Hunt (I don't recommend the sister books, but my children still like them)
Mrs. Broomstick's School for Witches, Jana Dillon
Ten Little Dinosaurs, Mike Brownlow

I'm sure there are others, this is just off the top of my head, and you'll notice I've skewed a little Halloween-y because that's what's in rotation at the moment, but hopefully it might give a suggestion or two for other parents that hate repetition as much as I do.

What about poetry and rhyme? I found inane stories very dull but something like AA Milne poetry collections are not so bad. "When We Were Very Young" and "Now We Are Six" are most enjoyable. Also, "Just So Stories" by Rudyard Kipling are also very very good.