Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

Yes l would. And did. Why not?

I’m glad you said ‘no’. She’ll have to get a childminder.

it wouldn’t be so bad if it were just ferrying the child, but no doubt the child would be at yours early, so you’d be minding them whist getting your kids organised, plus the requests to pick up after school.

And you don’t even know them!

Absolutely, people do go on about community but I really do feel like people can really take the mickey of the whole community thing, I said before, we should not feel to accept helping someone, a stranger or even a friend if it effects yourself or your family. It’s not selfish in the slightest.

No, don't do this.
But, if you do, said stranger must foot extra insurance for that child travelling in your car. Or sign a proper, legal document absolving you of any responsibility during the school run.
Be v careful, OP.

I would say I can help out when you are stuck but some days you might not be doing the run, child might be sick, might go to clubs etc, I think an ongoing forever commitment is not good but to help out in an interim or occasionally would be absolutely fine.

10 minute drive, not that the distance would make any difference to my decision. It’s not walkable so he couldn’t walk, it’s in a really awkward place on a main road and no pavement on some of the way and no other way to it

I would help.
But agree I wouldn't wait around if they aren't ready and I wouldn't be able to do it if my own children were sick.

I remember when I started secondary school, the parents of a friend, who lived in the neighbouring estate, asked if we could give their daughter a lift.
My mum replied, not unreasonably I don't think, that if their DD could present herself at our front door just before we were about to leave, then she was more than welcome to jump in the car with us. But if she wasn't there, then we weren't waiting for her. Friend (and her parents) were notoriously disorganised, and she only made it on time about half the times. The arrangement didn't last long.
I can't remember what the arrangements were for her getting home, but she certainly never came back with us.

It's very different doing it for a secondary age child, than a little one. Personally, I wouldn't. If it was a friend, then that's different, but it's a cheeky ask from a casual acquaintance neighbour.

I agree. I woujdn’t wait, but the chances are that if mum needed to go to work, she’d drop her son off first, and then op would have to look after him as well for a period of time. There’s been more than one mn posts about having a child dumped on them an hour early, and even feeding them food

I wouldn't want to be committed to taking someone else's child if my child was sick or if I was sick. I also would like my child to be able to do after school clubs or maybe go on playdates or the park and not have to come home at the same time every day.
I also might not want to come straight home, maybe we'd want to go shopping or to someone else's house. All of these things would be curtailed.

Being committed to a school run every single day for an almost stranger is a very large, one-sided favour.

So she and her husband needed (and still need) a better plan for how to get their DS to his new school than making it their unknown neighbours' problem. Whether they just moved in or have only moved his school, they shouldn't have started the term without something proper in place. One of them will have change their hours or find proper childcare/wraparound care or similar solution.

If it's London, they could've found someone if they'd been smart and planned instead of a last minute flap and making other people feel obliged (even if you're rightly declining). This doesn't present like someone in dire straits, just someone who's not taken responsibility for their DC. You've got your hands full with your own two and don't need to make your life harder by alleviating their stress.

I would occasionally for a friend but mornings are rushed and chaotic enough in this house without adding extra children who aren’t mine! Plus some days it’s me doing school run, some days it might be DH, sometimes we go on bike, by foot, scooter, we decide that morning. Sometimes we have appointments, sometimes we have an errand to run on way. And so on.

It's all very well saying you're going there anyway,but the issues start if they have lousy timekeeping for example,and your own child gets the rap for being late etc. I wouldn't. It's a good time for you to have a chat with your child on the run and talk about what you'll be doing today etc.

Oh a definitely not after school, we go places and do stuff straight from school often so that wouldn’t work at all.

That’s tricky for the Mum, but not your problem to solve.

And the chances of lousy timekeeping are high given they've been disorganised enough to get to this point.

I wouldn’t mind doing it to be honest. The only thing that would concern me is the hassle of managing another person. Someone to manage when you’re going on holiday, when the kids are sick and not going to school, when your sick and grand parents are stepping in, when you need to go somewhere after school instead of straight home, when you’re taking a child home for a play date and can’t fit them all in the car, when you sign your kid up for sports etc…

It’s inconvenient having to remember someone else and factor them into your plans or, inevitably, annoy the other parent because suddenly your not available. I would probably suggest doing it as hoc when she’s really at a push and not make it your direct responsibility to get them to school iyswim.

No, once you start you'll be stuck with it. It's a big ask considering you hardly know the family.

I’d happily do it if the kids were friends and or the same age. It’s good for the environment to lift share

"The Village" is a 2 way street not Cheeky Fuckery Lane which is one way😉

My aunty did this, the kid started coming to her house earlier and earlier on a morning, he was sitting there while they were trying to get ready.
One day he came and she said sorry daughter isn't going in today, he said we'll you will still have to take me in.

I probably wouldn't do it but if I did agree to it I would make a point of not being consistent (obviously tell her I'm not to be fully relied on). For example, the first week say you are going straight to the shops on Tuesday, then nanas house on Friday so she needs to sort out someone else for them days, then it will be more you helping when you can but not being expected to do it constantly.

I was in the same situation as that parent with my work schedule when my sons were young. For some reason one of the moms in one of my sons classes offered to have me drop them at hers and she would take them to school and also do pickup. It was truly just out of the kindness of her heart. The kids all became very close and same with the parents involved. This situation went on for many years. My sons even were given house keys as they were old enough and went to the secondary school and had an earlier dismissal. We continually offered to pay her and she said no until her DH lost his job. We were happy to pay her a high wage because she had been so lovely to us. I truly believe that their family help us raise ours.

No I wouldn't do it. I think this is a very cheeky ask from someone that barely knows you. "This is not something I can commit to, I hope you get sorted."

I couldn't commit to an every day or occasion thing. I might agree on for a one off emergency. We both worked full time and lived in a different city and had absolutely no support. I understand school runs are challenging, so is finding over for school holidays. I'm glad we are out of that phase now.

What about if your DC is ill and not in school or if you have an appt. Will they be expected to arrive early and stay with you after school?

I wouldn’t ask a stranger to take my child to school, so I’m baffled why someone would ask. But I would say don’t.

It's difficult, taking the responsibility on for a (strangers) child. It would be different if you guys were friendlier and the children friends too. At the moment it would be no because you simply don't know her, or how much of a piss taker you would be letting into your life. She may be lovely, but she may end up asking for you just to 'keep an eye' on their child after school etc etc. The fact she's even asked makes me think she's going to be a piss taker...