Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

And for those who haven’t seen, she is not a struggling single mum etc. both parents work in London, that’s it. they also appear to be able to afford clubs and just seem to be avoiding using them.

Was she a registered childminder with Ofsted and the council? If so, taking money to supervise your child before school was illegal. It’s against the law to do cowboy childminding—the exchange of money is the issue here.

In a word No

The OP doesn't have to explain it. Keep it simple.

Sorry i can't commit to taking your child every day.

Job done

And I am someone who got hooked into lifts to sports clubs. Kindness becomes being a mug with kids falling out and bad feeling. So definitely as no.

Tricky dilemma OP and I think you’ve made the right decision for many reasons.
I am wondering why the boy is changing schools at this point as he must have been going to a school for the previous years they have lived nearby. He may struggle to settle and that could add another layer of complications that are not yours to solve.
Seems odd to change school to one where as a family you cannot manage the logistics of getting them there and back - definitely wise to give this situation a wider berth.

Honestly I’d say yes, because this could work out for you too - you never know when you might also need your neighbour’s help.

Everything you’re concerned about can be resolved with a trial period, limiting it to a couple of days so you can have time with your daughter, explaining the exact time of departure etc.

and explain even then you’ll want to talk again at half term if it’s not suiting you.

She’ll be so grateful and you’ll never know when you might need her too.

My kids and I used to have some of our best chats whilst in the car on the school runs, which would not have happened if anyone else was in the car. For that reason alone I would help occasionally but not agree to a full time commitment.

It’s a massive ask. Every day

I bet all you feel is relief, now you’ve had the difficult conversation.

This! Remember the MN mantra, No good deed goes unpunished!

They can pay a taxi driver and escort to do this every day?

Id say its a bit too much of a commitment as you have other children tell her the things youve said on here.. sometimes we need to sort these things ourselves.. if it woukd feel like a worry or burden just dont do it you are allowed to say no always remember that x

Ive already replied but Ive read your answers to everyone and I still fully agree the answer is no..this isnt your responsibility whatsoever.. they can employ a childminder or change there working hours... its damn right cheeky
.
Look after your own now and again little favours for neighbours like take a parcel in or whatever but not 5 days a week school runs for God's sake its a straight no don't even think about it anymore .

It’s fine to choose not to be kind or generous, just don’t delude yourself into thinking your mean spiritedness is anything other than what it is. And there’s no need to ridicule or belittle other people who would actually in this instance choose to be helpful.

“Gleeful”? What is wrong with you. Nothing gleeful about it. Just sharing a different perspective.

The perspective that you were imagining OP being left without a lift to a&e someday because she refused this full-time job.

You probably agree with the poster who thinks it is "mean-spirited" to not take on taking a child you don't know to and from school every day for a year. Amazing the number of people who would do this for a stranger. I would be fascinated to know how many of the self-described generous-hearted souls actually DO do this for a stranger though. Not a one-off lift but a school-year-long commitment 5 days a week.

i used to help out a friend all the time. She always had a crisis, she was sick a lot and her husband had to work all the time, even at weekends. They never reciprocated and anytime I needed help, they said no and sometimes just ignored me. It got to the point where they would show up randomly at my house and try to leave their kid with me for the day or even two days at a time and when I tried to say no, they actually got angry with me. I tried to have a conversation to clear the air with the friend and she lost her temper, told me that she “didn’t owe me anything because I always offered” (not true), accused me of scorekeeping, (also not true), blackened my name to mutual friends, froze me and my husband and kids out of our social circle. It was horrendous and deeply upsetting. If someone is proposing a one sided “favour” I’d just say no. No good dead goes unpunished.

If I knew the mum and child well then it wouldn’t bother me.

As you don’t, I don’t think you can agree to it as you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. They could be perpetually late people, he could be a little shit, you just don’t know. Surely she’s got some mum friends from his class that she can ask?

I had one child and a job, yes.

Be prepared to bleed out, then. Or, just hope you’re lucky.

🤣🤣 yes will do thank you. Fortunately I know people that would take me I.e strange things called family and friends

If they’re available at the time.

I do a lift share with 2 other families in our village, it’s such a massive help! I’m a single parent and the only other option I would have is paying £80 per month for the school bus. If someone’s off school sick, then the other parents help out or make alternative arrangements, if I need to pop somewhere on my way to/from school the other kids just have to come along and wait.

When my kids were little and 2 of 3 mums worked, we took turns caring for the kids and giving them lunch and supper. This worked well and we all made new friends which have been lifelong. You too might make a new friend, and both children would be safe and might make a new friend too. Imo it would be fair to ask her for half the petrol money though.
Go for it.

Hmm...she's crossing boundaries already. She doesn't know you, and has put you on the spot. So many things could go wrong. You obviously don't want to...so don't. Sounds hard but her daughter is not your responsibility and you're not obligated towards the mum. Either just don't mention it (brazen as that), or if she brings it up again, just be lighthearted and say something along the lines of oh gosh, tbh we're so unreliable/I never know what our plans are etc...would hate to let you down...and change the subject. You don't want to do it? Then don't. You don't owe this neighbour anything and she's asking too much. Good luck 👍

How is just asking crossing boundaries? Lift sharing is a really really normal thing to do and the woman has said she will pay.

I am wondering how some mumsnetters function in society when a really average ask from a neighbour causes such uproar.