Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

Dear goodness! The more you post the more I’d say No way this wouldn’t end well for you. I’m not saying she’s a CF but maybe a desperate parent but I suspect she would end up being one. A CF that is not a parent!

Not sure what it has to do with class/geography. She barely knows this woman.

My neighbours child when the time comes if they ask? Yes, we are walking distance and they are the same year group I think and we like them. I expect I'll be allowed the flexibility to do the school run.

Barely is a stretch, I didn’t even know her name until she asked me for the favour

It’s a no from me. It’s nice to be kind but it would completely change the dynamics of your journey to school. We used to sing daft songs or learn times tables and chat about personal stuff. She needs to sort paid help.

I wouldn’t be able to ask a virtual stranger for this ‘favour’, without blushing.

My answer would be an equivocal no.
I don’t mind helping people, but I do mind having the piss taken out of me.

She needs to get herself organised. She’s had plenty of time to do so.

I would probably do it as a one off/in an emergency, but no, I wouldn't be committing to a regular arrangement.

I think if you’re not already friends it’s too complicated.

Saying that one of DDs friends mums offered to take mine when i didn’t know her. She took her 3 days a week for years. However she lived 5 minutes walk from school, so when I dropped DD off they were just leaving. We then became friends and I walked with them the other 2 days.
In return I had her DD quite a bit, especially after school on my non working days.

She then moved away and I asked another mum from school who lived even closer for a few weeks at the end of term. I didn’t know that they were late to school every single day and I had to take emergency leave as DD was getting upset about it. She then told another mum that I should have paid her for doing it (4 mornings). I took her DD out for 2 full days as thanks.
im glad DD grew up!

I have twice got into this situation, once with a child, once with a dog. I ended up regretting it both times and found it very difficult to get out of without bad feelings. Much easier to say, no, sorry, now. Their minds will immediately turn to other potential options. Much easier to have 5 minutes of feeling uncomfortable now.

Thank you for everybody’s help/opinions/experiences. It has made my mind up that I will not be agreeing to it. More for the sake of my children and how it would affect our school journey.

I would say no your child has a lot of difficulties getting into school in the morning that you don’t want to get into, hence why you’ve had to change your working hours to be able to take her in most days yourself, and this would really disrupt her.

I wouldn’t be able to ask this from someone whose name I didn’t even know with a straight face!

@MinasamaIt’s nice to be kind occasionally, but don’t be a mug.

Please don't speak for us all from the SE of England. My mother had a brilliant support network growing up in London. She got terrible migraines and our neighbour would always take us. Mum reciprocated when she was well, or cooked her a meal to thank her etc.

When my son was born, I was young so didn't have that exact network as no one my age had children yet, but as my son got older we had a lovely support network from his junior football club.

Same for many of my friends back in London.

Sick of everyone going on about how horrible we are in the South East.

Hahaha this tickled me

I'd say no - bar odd emergency or very limited time period - though I offered for somone I knew.

Why becuase people get entitled - they start being late start demanding you do it on days your own kids are not in. My own parents got involved in multple such situations - village life -- when we were kids and still moan and are bitter about them as it always got nasty and even supposedly reciprocal relationships they ended up doing more.

I still remember the term when a other parents were up for pick up from a private orchestra - after my parents has ended up with two - and I was home two hours late because that was day they decide to do supermarket shopping after picking us up - so two kids who did not get on well sat in a car waiting meaning no time when back to do homwork once at secondary - my parents knew they were making a point.

London here too and I say hear hear!

Yes I would but we’re friends. This just sounds like a cf

What did you actually say when she asked you?

ignore people that tarnish everybody with the same brush just because of where you live, so closed minded.

I would say happy to do a trial run, but he needs to be here at X time and then I leave. If my child is ill I won't be going in so you will need to accept that. It's no skin off your back and maybe she can help you out at some point in another way

No, I would say you are unable to commit and leave it at that. If she is willing to pay you, she can pay a child minder who is insured to look after children.

I said take my number and message me about it

How far away is the school? Just curious.

Wait so she is asking you to drop and collect everyday and have him back by a certain time?

Do not agree to this.

I see you have another child (who need to be dropped and collected elsewhere) as well as working. I'm assuming this other mum us aware of this?

She needs to employ someone properly, she may have been offering to "pay you" but I'm pretty sure she'd be offering a token amount and it would be nothing near what she'd pay for proper childcare.

Just say no and don't feel guilty about it for one moment.

People get tired of takers. If you were willing to give as well you'd find that there usually is a community.