Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

What would be the motor insurance situation be in case of an accident and injury whether driving the child for free or accepting petrol/inconvenience money?
IMO to ask someone who is to all intents and purposes a stranger to drive my child regularly is very odd. To then have the bare faced cheek to ask for them to be delivered home by a set time (without any thought that you might wish to call in somewhere sometimes) truly takes the biscuit.

Exactly, it’s just pure coincidence. This woman has never really bothered with you before and is now being demanding. The specific time to return home is the cherry on the top. Plus she’s offering ZERO in return

I would say yes to after school but have a get out clause - eg if your kids are sick but no to mornings. Mornings are too hectic and if the child is always late it could get complicated. Especially if yo are leaving for work. With pick ups they are both out at same time so it’s fine

Well it is where I live! Absolutely completely normal, no-one would bat an eyelid. I suppose it just depends on your community values. It costs nothing, I would happily take any of my neighbours children to school even as a permanent thing - it doesn’t cost anything, and you’re going anyway so i don’t see any issue. Where we live it’s a normal thing to do (manchester).

No, I would say I am not police checked for childminding your child escorting to and from school. It’s a big responsibility. Especially if you end up having them before school and after if they are working too. I wouldn’t do it. Yes have friends round to play with child but that’s it.

Given they are newly arrived in the area I would offer to do the drop-offs for two weeks, and say you hope that will give them time to get an alternative arrangement sorted out eg breakfast club. It would be kind to help and won't cost you anything to do it for a short time. I would be very clear that you will do it as a favour (not paid) for a short time, but you cannot continue beyond two weeks as you usually do other errands on the school run and for various reasons it is not possible to continue. Emphasising it as a favour will hopefully make it clear that it is a one-off arrangement. As others have said I would also bring up the what if my kids are sick etc as further rationale for not doing it on an ongoing basis.

I actually don't necessarily think it is inappropriate to ask as long as it was asked in the right way (we are very new, trying to find our feet, any way you might be able to help without it causing you a problem if not no problem). No one knows anyone until you have taken the first step, and that you are female makes you lower risk - and that he is old enough to be able to say if anything has made him uncomfortable. I do however also think what are they doing setting themselves up in such a way that neither of them can look after their child properly at either end of the day?

Of course I would!!!! Its what always used to happen !!!!!

I would when I could. We lived very rurally when my kids were at primary and all the local families mucked in. It was a godsend and we all appreciated it.

Sorry, is this time in the car not the most special time with your child - like to talk about anything without randos eavesdropping? Your own precious time? Just you and your child?
I have two colleagues, one moronic, one clever. The clever one drove her son to his university to drop him off at the start of term and the moronic one said 'are you crazy - such a distance, could have paid for his train'. And the clever one said 'he is 21, this is my only proper time with him - he, I, in the car, we TALK, This is the most special time for me, sod the cost'.

So an update, I have spoken with her and told her unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to commit, she was fine with it.

I wouldn't ever commit to every day or a long term arrangement, particularly afterschool, what about when you arrange playdates or need to do errands straight from school, or you have extracurricular activities straight from school (which tend to change as kids progress/ age).

At my old house we did a lot of lift sharing with NDN, generally arranged on a week by week basis, with the exceptions being specific dates NDN need extra early childcare from us to catch a train early for meetings further afield. We were never completely reliant on each other.

For me, car rides are often the time when I get to chat to my kids - they tend to open up when we’re driving. They’re not always deep
conversations - but catching up on their day or talking about their day to come is often just so lovely. Another child would change that dynamic totally

She needs to ask the school/class group chat if they know of any childminders that do pick up and put her child in breakfast club. You already have a job and I imagine childminding is not it!

She asked for a lift, not babysitting services.
Most people live within a mile of their local primary school. You're not talking an awkward hour long commute it's likely 10/15 mins.

You’ve obviously not read any previous similar threads whereby ‘Just a lift’ becomes so much more.

I don't see how it is 'cheeky'. She offered to pay.

Then you've just made a rod for your own back.
It doesn't matter if you are not going out of your way. You are taking responsibility for her child.
You should be paid for that. If she was using an Au Pair or Mother's Help, she'd have to pay.

You said that your own father had help getting you to school, that neighbour may loose her job if she has to do the school run and is late for work every day, l would give it a trial run as l understand how difficult it's for working parents.

Croydon15 how many years have you done school run for other families then?

Not every favour needs to be repaid immediately, or even repaid. Sometimes it's nice to do things just to be nice to other human beings.

Yes I absolutely would, in a heart beat.

one wonders why society is going down the pan bad it’s partly because of a suspicious attitude like this.

I bet there would be a number of local stay at home mums that would be glad of some extra money. I wonder if you suggest she asks around at the school?

I meant to add that I would say yes if it was me. Making sure she knew that if my child was off sick I would absolutely be unable to take her child in. As the saying goes what goes around comes around!

If she is offering nothing in return, don't do it.

Her child, her responsibility.

No