Would you take a neighbour's child to school every day?

[MintyElephant]

A neighbour, who I don’t talk too, other than the odd hello if we see each other, asked me if I could take her child to and from school every day as she’s struggling too because of her work - her child goes to same school as mine. She’s effectively asking a stranger to chaffeur her child around, what is everyone’s thoughts on this? Yes I’m going there anyway, I can’t do everyday as I don’t do everyday anyway. What would you say if someone you didn’t actually know ask you this? Would you do it?

As awful as it sounds I’d say no. There’s to many issues for my liking. Since my DD has gone secondary school and still having my DS in primary a lot has changed. I’m shocked these days mums and dads are so care free with their children. Since my DD has commented many children leave school and walk around there village for 2 hours before their parents get home and get them in?!? No key given or arrangement’s made. Kids just roaming till a parent gets home I’m assuming from work?!? Maybe I’m an over cautious parent but I don’t agree with that.

"I cannot commit to that" is a good enough answer. Unless you caretake, chauffeur for usual occupation then I'd have some contracts when it comes to that responsibility.

Yes I would and did from reception to year 8. I was going there anyway. Sometimes my child would have preferred it was just him but it helped him to grow up into the caring young man he has become.

I would say no as I hate being tied down to arrangements. Also found school run a pod time to chat to my own child about things they might not chat about face to face

If you can do it, I would. It is nice to help others when you can. There's not enough of that kind of thing. What is making you hesitate? Just make sure she knows that there are days she will need to make other arrangements, or if your child is ill.

I’d say no. It brings to mind a story when I was a child and my parents agreed to take another family’s child to a Saturday morning club each week - think gymnastics or similar- which was a decent 30-40 min drive each week. The boy (we were teenagers) was really quiet and a bit stuck up but was very condescending about our car for some reason. One day on the way to the venue he announced that he was going to be sick but didn’t give any warning to pull over and puked all over me and the central part of the car it was horrific!! We had to turn home and deliver him back to his parents who only seemed concerned that he missed going to the club!! It was the end of that arrangement!! I still remember his pompous name… and the vile smell in the car which lingered until we could upgrade!!

I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't want to for a friend, really, because I get too annoyed if they're late or hold me up a bit. Just say you can't - it's not your problem and she'll have to find someone else to do it. You don't even really know her name!

Parenting is hard enough, it would be lovely of you to be part of her village

Absolutely I would. It’s no trouble for you and she’ll understand if you can’t one day or your child is sick. She’ll be so grateful and you never know when you might need help in life. Say yes x

this may help you build your relationship with her, I feel it’s always good to have a positive relationship with neighbours.

I wouldn’t agree to it indefinitely though. Just say you’ll try it out for a month and re-evaluate as you sometimes have other commitments you’ll need to attend to BEFORE school drop off and that means leaving the house extra early etc. and of course, don’t promise to everyday.

I had a lifeline like this too.

I used to take a friend's two children in the morning and she'd pick up mine in the afternoon, I don't think I'd take something like this on if it wasn't reciprocal.

Love your neighbour as you love yourself. Is it really going to cost you so much to help someone in need? You never know what may happen in the future and she might repay your kindness above and beyond. And seriously, how much more petrol are you going to use? I think if she knew how your mind works you would probably be the last person she would ask.

I can't believe some of the comments on here. I used to do this very thing, and it entailed more than just opening the car door. I had to get a bus to the child's house and then another to the school. It's just helping someone out.

Neighbours are just people who happen to live on your road, we don’t have to love our neighbours especially like we love ourselves? They could be awful terrible people but they are our neighbours so that doesn’t matter? What a nonsense saying. If you took time to read any of the thread before commenting , I said I did not expect any money from her.

You are a very good person! I would not have the time for that in the mornings, how did you! Did you have other children and a job too?

The way home is tougher - it's a good time to chat to a child, plus there are so many reasons why you might not be coming straight home.

I'd offer to take her in the morning as long as she literally standing there by your car at the right time. And any pressure to "please just wait 2 minutes" or complaints if you're running a bit late or she doesn't like the music, and you'll stop doing it.

Careful about accepting money though. You need to be sure this won't invalidate your insurance.

I'd have massively appreciated this but I'd never ask. I'd wait to be offered. If you agree you never know you might make a lovely friend out of it

I absolutely would if im
going there myself everyday. As long as she understands that when you can’t you won’t go out of your way to do it

I think it’s incredibly cheeky to ask you to do this condensing you don’t even talk and the children aren’t friends / are of different ages. If the children were friends that would be different as you’d be on talking terms then. But no I wouldn’t personally commit to this. Once in a while because of an emergency, yes. But everyday, nope.

I’d probably just say ‘I’m not comfortable being responsible for someone else’s child, sorry’

I’d say yes. On the days I was taking mine to school

I once agreed to pick up a child after school three days a week to help out a friend and neighbour who was struggling. We both worked but she had several children and I had one. I said I'd do it when I could and take her child to after school care. The problem was this favour became expected - even on days my own child was ill or I had to work late and make other arrangements. Incidentally no offer of money for petrol was ever made for this 'favour'. The final straw was the evening I had to stop at a chemist to collect a prescription on the way to the other child's after school care. When I arrived at the childminder I was screamed at and berated for being late as it interfered with the childminders plans! That was it, I had a permanent fall out with the neighbour and have been wary of offering lifts ever since.

I have done this in the past to help out neighbouring school mum. We did know each other a bit through a mutual friend.

No, don’t do it. She’s already taking the piss by asking you to take him there and back, and there will probably be an expectation for you to get him to school everyday regardless of your own family situation eg sickness etc.. Arrangements like this rarely end well. She needs to have a conversation with her work about her hours/flexibility or hire a childminder or use a before school club.