Husband upset after my unemployed son criticised what we spend on car

[Incitatus12]

I am a teacher and don't earn a huge salary. My husband helped me to buy a fairly humble car, a 2nd hand Toyota. Hubby also pays for the insurance on the vehicle, so actually is paying most of the costs of the car. My son, 23, unemployed and living with his dad, made the comment that I should have bought a far cheaper car (not really possible - the Toyota was cheap, as cars go) and instead spent the money to support him. My husband is really angry at the comment, saying that my son, as an unemployed person, has no right to tell my husband what he should spend his money he works hard for, on. He no longer wants to allow my son to come over for weekends, because he says he's not willing to spend money supporting somebody he calls a deadbeat and who has the audacity to tell him, as a working person, how he should spend his money. I'm conflicted.

What about the fact he walked out of three different jobs!

ETA - OP's second post tells us this.

But he has quit three jobs!

How your husband spends his hard earned is zero to do with your son, your son was rude and intrusive.

I suspect there is already history between the two, given that your son lives with his Dad.

In this instance you should wholly support your husband, however refusing to have your son visit over weekends, is not the answer.

You may not like it @Incitatus12 but you should not be "conflicted", this is yours to resolve.

Re-iterate to your son that his unsolicited criticism is not acceptable and your husband needs to know that not seeing your son is not an option.

Why are men telling you what to do all the time?

No step parent should attempt to alienate their stepchild from their parent. Absolutely unacceptable.

Your son is being a bit of a dick, but surely you told him to wind his neck in and support himself at his age - free bed and board is more than supportive by a parent of an adult child.

Have you own opinion and voice it.

Your son is a layabout and also a ponce it seems. Maybe let him pop over at the weekend and your husband can go out or meet your son out. But I would also tell him he has no right to tell you what to do with your money and he needs to get a job you are not supporting a 23 year old.

He either is claiming it or should be- he's unemployed , if he's available for work he's entitled to UC.

I think you over estimate the success rates of work coaches.

I possibly do. I’ve not got any real experience of UC as we all work but I’d hope that for someone who is 23 they would at least be able to find him something.

Your son is entitled, but your husband has no right to say he can’t come around any more

Even though by quitting he’s made himself intentionally jobless?

How are things now @Incitatus12? Had your DH backed down at yet?