Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

I think this is a good point. I think there were things my DD knew when she was younger that she then totally forgot about and I had to explain again. They really don't retain it all!

I share this view, but this hasn’t come up naturally until now. I’m not going to sit them down in some formal big serious chat board room style 🤣 I’m just the sort of parent that for some topics that could have more questions I’d like to give it a little think. And having realised for my daughter age 7 is the perfect one to give her more info, a book would be nice. So I came here looking for recommendations. That’s it.

A very good point. We don’t tend to remember stuff before age 4 or 5 apparently. Or much of it. So all well and good teaching them about it then, it’s just remembering to keep it up when they no longer constantly accompany you to the bathroom 🤣

That’s so young, it must have been so worrying for you ❤️ Yes super important to tell them young- think we’ve all agreed on that

I'm actually really surprised at how young children are when they are being told!
My DD was born in the 1980s and it was not the norm at all to discuss periods or san pro when she was 7.

Maybe I was more private but DD didnt come to the loo with me when I was changing san pro- I don't think that's appropriate to be honest, but each to their own. In fact none of my children came into the loo with me ever at home and only in public loos if essential.

I don't know how much now is covered at school but sex education starts young and I'd assume by year 4 and 5 they were taught the basics.

Yup agree which is why I’m here looking for suitable books for them to have a browse through if they want to after I’ve had a chat (I know that’s split some people thinking I’m making it overly serious or formal but my kids are curious little things and love a book).

They know about lots of other facts of life and bodies etc because they have asked. Hadn’t asked this until yesterday.

I drip fed information like this to my kids. I think I first mentioned it about 2years old
A 2 year old is really still a baby.

How were they supposed to have any idea what you meant?

OR did you mean a baby was growing in a woman's tummy?

@2kidswelshmum What do your kids' schools teach and when?
It's part of the curriculum- does school not tell you?

I think it depends on the child and your circumstances tbh. I think 5 and 7 given our families, my periods, our set up, when the women in the family start periods etc and the fact they’ve only just asked and I’m telling them this age is fine. I didn’t find out until I was 9 and my understanding of periods has been no issue throughout my life and growing up.

Year 4 they get taught. My children are year 1 and 3

@2kidswelshmum if you're looking for a book, there are some suggestions here www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5332595-simple-factual-books-about-periods

Amazing, thank you 🙏

They've always known, and since they could talk they've asked questions (DS liked to refer to Mummy's nappies, when he was still in nappies himself!). It is the same to them as other toileting requirements, and they know it is necessary for babies to be born, so is a Very Important Thing (i.e. not disgusting or anything else).

We had the girls' guide to growing up - she was old enough to read it to herself and I noticed she'd spend time reading it and then ask me questions in the evenings when we'd snuggle on the couch. As she got a bit older she kept it in her room until around high school age when it went into the charity pile. While we were both surprised it happened at 11 (she's teeny tiny and a dancer and family history was more like 13/14) the only drama was around her dance class that evening - neither of us had considered options for leotards. So just a fair warning (to anyone!) that if your daughter is 8+ and a dancer / swimmer / gymnast etc to have a think about options as they aren't great at the start and best to be ready.

Have they never seen a tampon advert? Good question but honestly no. They haven’t. They only watch children’s catch up channels like CbbC on iPlayer etc so there naturally won’t be adverts for women’s sanitary products on a children’s only channel. They don’t use tablets unless for homework 🤷‍♀️ and because I only use moon cups and period pants they haven’t seen anything at home either. If they’ve seen them in a shop they’ve never asked. They saw some yesterday, I clocked I need to give them simple honest explanation so that’s what I’ll do. They are only 5 and 7.

I have tampons and stuff out in the bathroom so they’ve kind of just asked and now they know. DS did shove one up his nose last week when he had a nose bleed though which was pretty smart of him but also funny.

My DD is 8 and she’s seen me change my pads from a young age. Being a child she obviously asked about it and I’ve just talked to her about them when she’s been with me - said that she would get them later in life, all woman get them, nothing to be embarrassed about etc. always tried to keep it lighthearted! Now at 8 she knows exactly what’s going on. I just never saw the big deal. I think it’s important boys know about these as well but I might not go into as much detail with them as I would a daughter.

As others have said, I don't think I had a 'big chat' with mine about periods, it just came up naturally from seeing sanitary products in the bathroom or them coming in the loo with me and me changing a tampon! They're all boys so I haven't had to tell a daughter about starting periods but I would just give them the facts, very matter of factly. By the age of 5 & 7, mine knew what periods were and the basics of reproduction.

I really don’t think it’s “wild” if a 2-7 year old doesn’t know about menstrual cycles…that’s a bit dramatic. It might be unusual to you from your reality, but wild? Nope.

Periods were nowhere taboo or anything in our household growing up. My mom didn't have periods and I don't have sisters so there were not products around or being picked up from the shop. So I really don't see where it would have come up naturally when I was a toddler.

I leave them outside the door in their buggy or standing if they are old enough! No need for them to come into the actual cubicle.

Fair enough! It just happened that way. Unusual in my experience - all of mine were aware by your kids age. but it’s not like they are behind! Plenty of time to discuss it with them. My youngest saw an advert of pads on the tube in Lisbon and asked if it was a big plaster 🤣 which I thought was funny. He was 4 at the time. Hence why I asked if they never seen an advert. I wasn’t referring to tablets or actual tv. Mine had no concept of privacy either, so regardless of doors they would always come in when I’m in the toilet so that was for us another way they would have exposed to it. I know a pp mentioned about liking to poop in peace 🤣… I think we all do but not always possible with small kids. But then I don’t use a cup or sanitary pants so maybe yours are not as exposed to it. So whilst I think it’s unusual they don’t know at their age I also think some of these responses are a bit over the top. It’s not like they are 15 and 17. Plenty of time to talk about it.

given that I have very little privacy my daughters have seen me on my period. I’d love to have private loo time but alas they’re never more than a few feet from me 😂

thank you ☺️ it’s really odd how they haven’t asked sooner I do get that given how curious they are about literally everything 😆 I’ve got a book on order now from recommendations on here just for extra info if they ask/in case my daughters friends start their periods early (or she does!) As for ads/walking past pads etc in Tesco - no idea why they haven’t clocked them and asked sooner. They ask all sorts of questions when we’re in say B&Q that I can’t answer 🤣🤷‍♀️ (plumbing parts etc aren’t my area of expertise)

Mine are 5 & 8 and I've made a point of being honest and open - in an age-appropriate way - about periods from day 1. They never let me have alone time in the bathroom anyway so I figured I may as well explain what's happening and, especially for my DD, what to expect as she grows up. My DM never explained about it until it happened when I turned 13 and I don't want that for my DD. I also think boys should know about these things so my DS gets all the info too 😂