Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

Does seem to be a very emotive topic doesn’t it…mine did follow me into the loo as toddlers, and I do still bring them into public loos with me but they never saw me empty a menstrual cup. I don’t know why that’s so shocking 🤷‍♀️

I just talked about periods as part of daily life. Sanitary protection in the supermarket, bloodstains when doing the laundry, period pains/pms when I had them in the same way that I would mention any other bodily function like breathing or digestion. When they were toddlers, my kids liked to wear a mooncup as a teeny tiny hat.

Didn’t even think of that! I just couldn’t imagine how you managed going to the toilet by yourself 🤣🤣, especially when it feels like a luxury if I get to.

I would just answer short and factual. Most women have a period every month and some use these items. If they ask more questions then you can go into more details. I wouldn’t over think it.

This might be a weird thing to say but... I really envy you having a light enough flow to only empty your mooncup once a day.

Of all the things women get judged on, I didn't think going to the toilet alone (or even just changing a tampon without an audience) would be one of them 😂

I told my DD when I could see that the signs of puberty were starting. For her, that was around age 9 - the same time that we had the chat about sex and where babies come from (early year 5 for her, she’s a young one in the year group). I didn’t see any need to explain before that age, but it was well before her periods did start (age 12)

Worth also saying that as I haven’t had periods since she was born, she had never seen period products in the house, so had no reason to ask what they were

I remember asking a friend's mum (with my friend there - we must have been about 6 or 7) how a baby got out of your body (I had a vague idea it had something to do with your navel). What I do remember is how embarrassed she was and that's what made it stick in my mind. I am sure if she'd said something about vaginas or sometimes a doctor helps, we both would have gone on to immediately ask for biscuits too!

Also to say I started early too (9.5). I knew what it was as I had been told but those were the days of sanitary towels and belts, only mitigated slightly by the advent of Dr White's stick on pads which were thick as bricks 😫At least period pants are a thing nowadays!

I absolutely disagree. You phrase it simply, they remember the bits they can understand and forget the bits they don't until a later date. I don't see it as an emotional subject its simple facts.

You dont need to explain it until they ask e.g. on seeing a box of tampons or seeing Mum change a pad. They ask a question and you tell the truth every time. Don't try to answer questions they haven't asked. Keep it simple.

I mean, children develop at different rates of course and some have stronger language and cognition than others, so it could be that your lovely family grandkid would not be ready so would need something even simpler. And of course a baby would understand more at age 3-minus-one-day than at two-plus-one-day. But I assure you my children were talking fluently and using those kinds of concepts with understanding when they were midway through the 2s.

The other poster who said "every month this happens to clean out the house where the baby grows" is using a similar approach.

Even if the child doesn't understand everything, you should still have a crack at the important concepts.

You don't wait until your baby can read Aristotelian ethics before introducing the concept of being nice to people, you just start by saying "woah, kind hands!" when they lamp another baby :)

Another one who didn't feel the need to have an audience when changing a tampon!

On mat leave with DS2 (the main period I was often out and about with them solo) I was breastfeeding so didn't have periods anyway.

At home, we had a stair gate on the door of DS1's room and I put them both in there when I nipped to the loo

Let kids be kids 🤷‍♀️
for Dd I would talk about it a year or two when the females in your family tend to ge their first period (as I think it can follow the same pattern timing wise 🤷‍♀️)
my my DS and DS asked when they were younger I said babies need nappies and sometimes a woman needs something similar too 😂

Exactly. I like my privacy and there was never any need at all to change san pro in front of children.

They had a playpen and, when a bit older, stair gates on their bedroom doors etc.

It's quite possible to go to the loo and ask your toddler not to come in, and find something to amuse them for 5 minutes. This is not to say they didn't want to come in, but they didn't always get what they wanted!

Babies do not need to know about menstruation.
And a 2 year old is a baby.
Women do not need to change san pro in front of them.

This thread has been an eye opener mainly because of the mums here who don't value or want any privacy, for what is essentially something usually done in private.

If a 2 year old asks 'what's that' the issue only arises as they have been exposed to something they really don't need to know for a long time.

Schools have brought forward body changes/ sex education so it's earlier than ever. It used to be Year 6 but of course that's too late for some girls. But even schools are waiting till Year 4 (aged 9+).

A 2 year old is not a baby! My ds, found a tampon at 2,and asked what it was

My oldest DD was 56 yesterday and she had sex education at school at 9.

Well done to you. My first would scream bloody murder if I left his line of sight for more than two seconds in his first year so he came everywhere with me. There's nothing wrong with a toddler following you into the loo or knowing that a woman has a period so get off your bloody high horse love.

What rubbish. My articulate 2 year old was inappropriately exposed to the sights of a box of tampons in a shopping trolley, asked a question and I answered it - shock horror!. She's in her mid 40s now. She seems to have turned out ok and always answered her own children's questions honestly.

Babies do not need to know about menstruation

Babies do not need to know about lions. We live in Dorking where there are no lions so I make sure NOT to have any toy ones in the house.

Babies do not need to know about interplanetary space. So I ripped down the mural of moons and stars above his cot.

Babies do not need to know about death, so when Grandma died I made a stuffed, life-sized figurine of her and propped it up in a chair for the next twelve years.

😂😂😂

I've always talked about it in front of my daughter so she'd have had a small understanding from 2ish I guess. She had the full talk at school aged 7 but she already knew most of it. Now at 8 she has a pack of bits in her school bag just in case as she'd asked for one after the school talk.