Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

They have better bladders than me when out for the day! 🤣

The sad part is she has done and he won't! She tells him even now he's ridiculous. I make sure and send products with her so she's stocked up, but on the rare occasion she has run out he tells one of our son's to do it. Funny how he thinks it's ok for them but not him, I can't get my head round it. And I made absolutely sure my sons wouldn't have the same attitude.

Good on you. I have made sure my 3 sons don’t have that attitude either. Though you can go too far - the minute my dd says she doesn’t feel well my 12yr old ds asks her if it’s her period and does she want a hot chocolate 🤣

I think even those of us with excellent bladder control would need a pee at some point during a full day out! Can only assume they never took their kids out themselves and always had the other parent with them. Unfortunately not the case for me.

Me neither - and I’d be buggered if the possibility of my toddler seeing me change a towel was going to stop me taking them on great days out!

That's lovely though! I'm sure his future girlfriend will appreciate how you've raised him 🙂

My son was at a gig and when they searched him on the way in he had his girlfriends tampons in his pocket because she couldn't fit them in her tiny bag 😅

As early as they ask questions! Just explain the biology of it, it’s no big deal! Just use terms they’ll understand at their ages. Eg I think i used “nest” instead of “endometrium”/“uterine lining”

If you don't want to have the where babies come from chat too, you can just say - your body prepares a place for a baby to grow every month and if you're not having a baby it gets rid of it. I think we had the talk about six or seven. And the full where babies come from talk about 9? Just before they did it at school. Some girls start their periods at 8 so really got to get that one done!

We are raising good men! 😀

My son calls it lady bleedy time 😂
he’s 6 but i explained that ladies bodies get ready for a baby but if they don’t get the seed to make a baby then the parts come out and that includes some blood when he was younger. I haven’t fully explained the ins and outs but gets that it’s only ladies but not girls as they’re too young or nanny as she’s too old now.

I'm curious to know what "contact lens thing" your DD was thinking of and what item of sanpro she mistook for it.

Yeah I was never a door closed sort of parent. Nothing to hide from them at that age

I definitely told my daughters early on in primary school, and bought them age appropriate books about the facts of life which I shared with them. DD1 first asked about how the baby got in my tummy when she was three and I was pregnant with DD2, and I told her in suitably simplistic terms.

My DM bought me a book about it in Y6 (Usborne Facts of Life) -very good but almost too late as I started my periods only a few months later. A friend had told me about periods when I was eight, but got some of it wrong. When I was 11 and read the book I realised I'd had so much misinformation from other kids before that which had caused a good deal of confusion and some fear.

So I decided it was better that DDs had correct, if simplified information to avoid this, and at a much younger age. And if they asked questions, to answer them truthfully.

I also made sure there were easily accessible pads in the house when they did start their periods. DD1 didn't start until she was 13 and was quite nonchalant about it. DD2 was 11 and had already had a painful ovarian cyst before she started, poor thing, and had heavier periods so I also got her period pants.

It can be super random - most were 13/14 in my family but my daughter started at 11. But more importantly, she had friends (and friends’ older sisters) start way before that. I talked about it specifically from around 7/8 but she’d already heard something very wrong from an older sibling and was scared so I’m sorry I didn’t start the chats earlier (her friends sister said that once you had your period it was permanent!)

Really important to have some practical time too - showing her options and letting her try things. I put them in all the toilets from when she was 8 or so as well as occurred to me her friends might be too embarrassed to ask me if they needed something.

I’m on the mirena coil so haven’t had a period since my DD was 6 months old. Therefore has never been cause for them to see me changing a tampon. That doesn’t mean I’m a prude or don’t want to teach them normal bodily functions 🤷🏻‍♀️. I explained it all with help of a book then they were 5/6. My 13 year old hasn’t started yet but she knows what to do when she does.

I didn’t have excellent bladder control, I just didn’t have periods! So they never saw me change a tampon/sanitary towel/mooncup.

We had the Claire Rayner book when I was growing up. It's really good.

I've recently told DS(12) that when he has a girlfriend he should learn her favourite comfort food for when she has her period and not be embarrassed if she asks him to buy her sanitary products.

This. My 2 year old knows as she’s always in the toilet with me. To not know at those ages is wild

Quite a lot of women use forms of contraception that mean they don’t have periods.

My children are mid/late teens. We had a play pen (very useful things). I never took them into the toilet with me. I have a strong bladder. If we were out for the whole day we would be with friends or family. They learned about the facts of life in year 5. They are both sensible, well adjusted people and we have a lovely close relationship. I have no regrets.

I would say earlier than you think! My mum spoke me to and my sister around 9/10. I got my first period the summer before I went to secondary school so was a bit of an ‘early starter’ my nan didn’t explain to my mum early enough and the first time it happened she was really frightened and thought she was dying and she didn’t want that for us.

Contrary to previous posters OP I don’t think you’ve missed the boat with them not knowing by 5 and 7.

I’d recommend a book to start with and go through it together. Personally I could never find the right words to explain it. I also have to really squash my prudish (inherited! My mum never spoke to me about it!) tendencies because I really want my DC to be able to ask me things. And they do ask me so many things!

I am on the pill so don’t have periods so they’ve never seen me change anything 🤷🏼‍♀️.

My sons have always known. I let them play with my tampons and a glass of water to see how effective they were to stop blood pouring out of the vagina. It's just a body function.

My son (when he was 5) asked me if all the ladies who didn't swim in the pool on holiday had their period (loudly).