Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

mine have always known as always came into the toilet with me! My dd was totally chill when she started her period, and my 4 year old ds understands them and doesn’t bat an eyelid and says “do you have period pains mummy” when I have my hot water bottle. I figured that was normal? Lol maybe not!

Really? My husband would always take ours into the toilet where possible rather than make them stand outside or by the urinals. I would think they’d be harangued more to be honest if they didn’t!!

I explained properly about 8 to DD and DS along with sex too, we used the usbourne book - Let’s Talk about Where Babies Come From.i had an en suite and not much following to the loo.

I’m sure I answered questions if they asked at an earlier age - I remember telling DS tampons were for ladies when he was very young, which was enough at that age.

they’re in their 20s now so my memory is hazy.

I had to do all the facts of life stuff, even w DS (although I bought him a ‘male puberty’ book as obviously I’m not a man so couldn’t answer certain questions’). DH has always been useless in that regard. He asked me ‘Did dad have wet dreams’ - I said. ‘Ask him!’. So he did.

We started reading a biff and chip style book at 4. Added it to her reading log for reception.

This.

When they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know.

Its not a secret / taboo. Women bleed.

My children saw me changing tampons from day dot. Conversations then ensued naturally. They used to call them ‘your bit of blood’ and ‘mouse tails’ 😂

My daughter learned at school at 8. We carried on the conversation at home.

This ^^ my 2 year old cried yesterday because she wanted to watch me pee and i went the the toilet without her 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂.

Oh yes, the famous question:
Mummy, WHY are you wearing a nappy???

I’ve always just immediately answered all questions they asked, when they were young, so much easier than dealing with their embarrassment with silly things as they get a bit older. It’s a biological function, it’s doesn’t need to be anything more than ‘because women have babies they have something called a period, those things help them’ then answer any follow up questions. I find that adults apply loads of weird extra adult thinking when discussing this stuff with kids, and it’s much easier to follow their lead, so we don’t add our adult hang ups/bias to what they see as a simple question.

I explained to my daughter from a pretty young age, prompted mainly by my own mother’s complete failure to tell me about anything. I wanted to normalise it.

I started my periods at 11 so knew that there was a chance my daughter would be fairly early too, or that I may have stopped having periods by the time she started (older mother). I also used a mooncup though, so I wouldn’t say that she saw me change and empty that, although she did see the clean version lying around and I explained what it was.

I told her that each month a woman’s body makes a lining in her womb for a baby to grow in but, if there isn’t a baby, then her body gets rid of the lining with a bleed so it can grow a new one the next month. When she was about nine I was recommended a great book called ‘The Girls Guide to Growing Up’ by Anita Naik. It was very age appropriate, she loved it and still dips into it now.

Glad I did the explaining as she started her periods a month after her eleventh birthday! My bathroom is now overflowing with period pants and san pro of all types - just as mine have ended. 😂It’s a ride!

I started mine at 10. I think we had been taught about it in school before because I knew what it was when it started, and I remember it being covered in lessons in school (I was born 1990). I did go to an all girls school

It’s definitely easier to have that kind of natural evolution of curiosity if they’re seeing it. Mine have always come into the bathroom with me and we have a pretty open door policy for wees etc so they’ve both (7 and 4) asked questions and I’ve answered them. I remember periods feeling quite embarrassing when I was a young teenager, and hell would have frozen over before I ever mentioned them to my dad, so I want differently for my two.

Mine have also know about periods. I have never been able to use the toilet alone.

My daughter likes Dr Binoc on YouTube. She's 7.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PeL_XtBrOxw

Although, I do watch things first before shes allowed.

I think you’re making unfair and inaccurate assumptions based on very little info about people you don’t know - you’re seeing a snippet of info on in the internet and drawing conclusions.

Just because I’ve not yet told my small children about periods doesn’t mean I’m a prude - it just hasn’t come up and I’m now asking other mums for child friendly books as I know my children are very inquisitive and will have lots of questions.

Just because some mothers choose not to change period products in front of their kids does not make them a prude either - people just have different levels of what they feel comfortable with their kids remembering as an adult. I never saw my mum (a very open woman who doesn’t shy away from any topic as she’s a medic) change a tampon and I don’t feel I missed out on being educated about periods.

Think they teach it year 4 now in school so 8-9 it’s discussed

Definitely agree I won’t be leaving it any longer ❤️

I think we need to just act normal about periods. My husband at 19 didn’t really seem to understand them. Sure, he’s been to biology at school but he didn’t understand why I was in pain and actually wondered what body part was hurting! I change my san pro in front of my boy. If he wants to come into the bathroom then I’m just going to carry on with my day - whether I’m wiping my vulva or I’m bleeding. I want him to know it’s normal. Because it is.

As I previously posted, a lot of what I said wasn’t aimed at you.
I find it very sad that so many parents leave these discussions to school especially as many girls have started their periods before it is even taught in schools (I was 8 as was my dd)
It isnt about dc seeing parents change tampons, it’s about having these conversations as early as possible so children don’t see periods as dirty or a secret. You want to have those conversations with your dc rather than leave it to teachers which is great and exactly how it should be.

Mine always knew because I was having periods when they came with me to the toilet.

😆 so true

This is the same for us. Mine knew at an early age.

Totally understand that, especially if the girls in your family start early. I think the main reason it hasn’t crossed my mind until she turned 7 was because the women in my family simple don’t. I realise that doesn’t mean she will follow trend - I’ll chat with her this evening as absolutely agree, she needs to know, it needs to be normal, it absolutely mustn’t shock her and she must feel like she can talk to me about anything ❤️ that’s ultimately all I want

My DD always knew. She often came to the toilet with me. I think it's best to be open and to normalise periods so there's no shame or stigma around it. It doesn't need to be a Big Talk. It can just be a simple answer to a question.