Periods - what age is best to explain to child

[2kidswelshmum]

What age is appropriate to explain periods/menstrual cycle to daughter?

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 5 year old son. In the swimming pool changing room bathroom today they saw the free period products on the sink and asked what they are.

I gave a non committal answer in that moment because I wanted more time to think how I respond, and also we were running a bit late for their lesson.

I figure there’s no reason why I can’t tell them - it’s part of life etc. I’m just not sure of the best way to phrase it.

And I’m leaning towards tailoring the answer per child, giving my seven year old daughter a bit more info…?

I told my daughter aged about 2 when she asked about the tampons in the shopping trolley. She forgot and then asked the next time, again and again until she remembered. She's always known and it was never a big deal.

As soon as they ask, which I think was age 3ish here.

Mine just seemed to know as my tampons and towels were kept in the bathroom and they used to accompany me to the toilet to chat. They also used to ask me if i needed any "lady's things" when we went shopping, God knows why they called tampons that as I never used euphemisms, maybe heard it in someone else's house. I was given very basic info when i was 11 and it was a real taboo when i was growing up. I thought that as babies came out of your belly button so did your period as i was told "periods are to do with having babies but you won't be doing that for a very long time" and that you covered your belly button with a towel to catch the blood. When i started my period I honestly thought I was dying

Ask what? where babies come from or what periods are?

Massive difference between basic info on how a baby grows and periods.

I wasn't told as a child till I was about 9 and I'm sure that was the same for my DD (now almost 40) .

So you explained to a 2 year old that women ovulate, if there is no conception after sex the womb lining bleeds and tampons are used?

A 2 year old is a baby. There surely is no way they can even start to grasp that type of info. They don't have the cognitive development.

Periods are nothing to be ashamed of. Be honest with your children, boys included.

I'm so impressed with all the mums in this thread. Mine didn't give me any sort of talk, so I was terrified when I bled at age 10. Then she told me I was "a grown woman now". 😖

To answer the question I think any age over 5/6 is old enough to understand.

If they ask questions you should answer them in an age appropriate way, however young they are when they start asking. Boys too. No secrets, shame, embarassment but not more info than they can take in either.

My mum told me about reproduction when I was about 8 or 9. She was clearly embarrassed and so was I because it was so excruciating. In fact i already knew (roughly) because other kids had talked/giggled about it at school (one girl smuggled in The Joy of Sex which we all had a jolly good look at) and there was also a Readers Digest medical A-Z on our landing which i read extensively. I was fascinated about how babies were born so I read the pregnancy and birth section over and over. It didn't go into detail about sex but definitely enough to understand the basics.

For similar reasons I also knew about periods but my mum for some reason didn't "tell" me about that for at least another year, another hush-hush mortifying conversation. And far too late. Some girls at school had already started and I wasn't far off.

Open conversations are the way to go.

We once had paramedics being called because a nosebleed when DH's sinsus infection got really bad.

The female paramedic looked at me and DD (15 at the time): "Do you have a tampon with you? They work great in these circumstances." Unfortunately neither of us likes tampons so no luck.

Obviously not in such detail that would be ridiculous as I pushed my trolley round Tesco. Just that blood came out some times and they were to stop it dripping. You only need to say as much as they'll understand at the time and fill in more details as time goes on. Don't ask me for the exact words or the exact age it was over 40 years ago but she was small enough to sit in the trolley.

What I'd like to know is how you managed to get enough privacy in the bathroom to avoid having this conversation when your kids were toddlers? My own sons inability to leave me alone for more than two minutes was what led to that conversation with them both initially (mummys bleed once a month unless they are growing a baby, it's doesn't hurt and we use pads to avoid the blood staining our clothes) and we've talked about it ever since in an age appropriate way.

My god 7 is far too young- she won't start them for at least another 4-5 years (any earlier than that needs investigating). And why on earth are you including your DS in this? Why does he need to know if he's not ever going to have them?? (Don't get me started on women who walk around naked in front of their kids or let their kids run around naked...)

Are you real? Of course a girl needs to know about periods long before she starts so it feels normal and nothing to worry about. Boys needs to know about it too so they understand what's going on with girls and don't get silly about it when they are adolescent.

I hope you are joking - if not:

You wouldn't be happy how I am raising my kid.

And - DD had a primary school friend who had her period with 9 at the end of Y4, they start it in Y5 with the topic in school and boys absolutely need to know about this, learning about a bodily function which affects most women in their lives (partner, colleagues, friends, sport mates for example) just teaches empathy and makes them better men.

One of mine started hers at 10.

Also yeah you can say it to a 2 year old. You know how babies grow in mummy's tummy from a little egg and seed? Sometimes the mummy's tummy gets ready for a baby to grow. But if no baby comes, for all the mummies, their tummies clean themselves out, and some old left over blood comes out of their vagina. It doesnt hurt. Then their tummies start again, getting ready for the next time a baby might come. In short - happens to all the mummies, some blood comes out.

At 2 my kids knew that Peter Rabbit's dad had mysteriously vanished and yet left him a special book to read. And that Elsa had magic in her hands that she couldn't always control and it came out when she got angry.

How is periods more complicated than that?!

Also Google for "stupid things men think about periods"... from people thinking we all get them on the 15th of the month, to men believing we can hold it all in and fire it out at will, or it consists of only one droplet of blood, or it comes out the pee hole ... of course boys need to know. How can they treat women well if they don't?? How can they take their responsibility for contraception without knowing how it all works??

Let alone the disgusting disgraces that are period poverty in this country and period related ostracism and abuse that happens the world over.

How can any woman not want to tell all children the real, safe, equitable truth, in an age appropriate way, as soon as possible. It's a feminist issue. It's a human rights issue.