Social referral.. never had this before and absolutely terrified

[Wonderland12]

Speech & language referred to SS apparently school have raised concerns also but not said anything. Allegations are dental neglect and that his teeth “look dirty” - has weak teeth dentist visit today confirmed reduce in sugar but otherwise all dental care perfect brushing by ourselves and no issue with brushing teeth all being done as should. Required some treatment which was given but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme. Dentist said it’s just where he has has previous treatment and stains it looks “dirty” but nothing wrong. He has routine appointments we attend all and he goes to any treatments they plan.

Permanent stain on school clothes - they raised stains or marks on school jumper. Clothes always washed but has got a permanent small stain about 5mm wide on one and a couple of very light pen marks on the other.. they don’t come out I’ve tried.

Says he has a dirty neck sometimes.. he has a bath at least twice a week, usually plays outside school in the mornings before they go in with his friends in the grass on the field & also eats a breakfast pastry on the way to school and he’s not a clean eater. Could be from that but he is bathed and cleaned regularly we are not dirty people!!

Now have to wait for a SS call or visit, absolutely beside myself as he is extremely well cared for the anxiety is horrific thinking people think he might not be cared for when it couldn’t be further from the truth

yeh right . If you need to wash them every day to prevent smell that’s not normal and they are probably colonised with something. Get them checked out

She probably had a mother who thought her stench was a normal kiddy smell and that everyone else had OCD.

Youre washing every day to get rid of sweat, dirt, urine and faeces as well as regulate your skin flora. Not removing those things and letting your flora get disregulated is what makes you smell. Youre not going to shame me for bathing myself and my kids daily, silly. You just expose how poor hygiene is in your home

You are the one who said my child smells of piss and shit . You are so pathetic you have ignored all the medical website advice people have posted . Your only actual argument when advice from reputable websites is posted is “that’s not evidence “ yet the only evident you can produce is anecdotal evidence that YOU think every child that doesn’t wash every day smells of piss and shit. Absolutely pathetic . I’m not engaging with you any further . You can’t engage with this level of sheer ignorance and nastiness

Yes if you do not regualrly bathe a young child, they will have a whiff of piss and shit because they don't clean themselves well in the toilet and wiping with dry tissue paper or wipes is inefficient anyway. So yes, I am being clear that many children do have a smell of pee on them because they are messy in the loo and many parents cant be arsed with daily bathing.

If your child is regularly going around unwashed from the bottom down, then your child will smell. You don't have an odourless child.

I have provided evidence that daily bathing isnt harmful to anyone. Other people arent generally in need of something that says "getting rid of sweat, dirt, piss and shit is good".

Where did I say it was harmful. All I am saying is that my child does not smell of piss and shit . Stop trying to convince me he does. He absolutely doesn’t . If everyone who didn’t wash every single day as a child smelled of piss and shit it would NOT be recommended by paediatricians. So seriously stop trying to convince me my whole family stinks . All the adults in my family have a shower daily .

You have to understand that you might not think he does because you have become used to that smell off of him.

We live in a culture where we have.normalised this infrequent bathing and poor hygiene. People think kids are meant to hsve that wet nappy smell

If it is not harmful and cleaner, why would you not do it other than sheer laziness?

Outdoor showers in the Caribbean or most parts of Africa are possible because of the warm climate. If you tried that in the UK you'd freeze for the vast majority of the year.

Yes, most working-class houses at the time the Windrush generation arrived would not have had a bathroom because they lived in cramped 2 up 2 down houses with no room for one and with a lavatory at the far end of the back yard. The welfare of the workers wasn't high on the list of priorities for those who threw up the vast numbers of rows of small terraced houses in industrial towns. I'm obviously much older than you because I was a small child when the first Windrush boat arrived and almost all members of my extended working-class family had the usual outside lavatory and a tin bath brought in once a week to bathe in front of the kitchen fire. To use a phrase which mostly sets my teeth on edge, it was my lived experience and I can never forget it.

You see my grandparents talk of the tin bath, but it was an every day thing. Had to be, they had dirty jobs.

Dermatologist and paediatricians would not recommend a practice that makes kids stink like shit

That's why they don't recommend that. They say that couple.times a week is the bare minimum for it not to automatically count as neglect. They don't tell you to only do it that many times. That's for the most incompetent parents to have some sort of threshold of what is totally unacceptable. For you, "nearly totally unacceptable" seems to be what you aspire to rather than a guideline of what would mean you are failing as a parent

The fact that someone is here arguing with all their might that they don't need to bathe their kid daily but it wouldn't be harmful if they did is astounding to me

It’s not saying it’s recommended to only wash children 2 times a week, it’s giving a bare minimum expectation because some parents will always resort to that.
I mean no functioning adult should really need to be told bathe your children 2-3 times a week unless they’ve been swimming, playing outside or sweating. But clearly some do need basic instructions.

I dont get what they are doing which makes a daily bath so impossible to achieve.

Afternoon, folks!

A quick reminder to everyone posting on this thread to please stick to the topic raised by the OP. We're seeing the discussion drift into side arguments, which isn't particularly helpful to the conversation.

Please keep your posts relevant to the subject under discussion. Posts that continue to derail the thread or breach our Talk Guidelines will be removed.

Best wishes,
Faye
MNHQ 💐

They do recommend it . It’s said anymore is “not necessary “. Seriously . Learn to read . No you just want listen because it’s your way or the highway .

Because there is absolutely NO NEED for a daily bath that’s why . Zero need . Grow up and teach your kids to clean their arses properly after the toilet and stop pissing and shitting all over themselves

I don’t need scientific studies, I can smell the teenagers who live with me, if they don’t shower daily or open their bedroom windows it STINKS 😂I’m not sure people need a PHD to acknowledge this…

OP, you need to bath your kid. It is hard to know what is right in a culture where a lot of people are soap dodgers, but twice a week isn't enough. It is really best to bathe your kids daily if you don't want them to be smelly and you do want them to have good habits as adults. Please do.

I'm glad for them they could afford the coal to heat the water for a bath every day. They certainly wouldn't have done that for their small children who would have been bathed or washed in the kitchen sink. They would also not have changed all their clothes every day for two reasons. The first is that most people only had very few changes of clothes and the second is that clothes washing was a hugely laborious process when your only piece of laundry equipment was a mangle. My mother's first washing machine in the mid-1950s was a twin-tub and it changed her life.

Are speech and language concerned that poor dental hygiene is effecting his speech and language?
As pps have asked, what work is the dentist doing?

Baths twice weekly under the age of 10 are fine but why is his breakfast on the go? What do you mean pastry?

If he has time to play outside he has time for a decent breakfast.

Stains on uniform sound fine. Can you get him new ones for the new term?

It’s not failing as a parent at all do not be ridiculous. Have a google . They don’t need it . Different kids have different skin types and different needs . Sometimes kids enjoy a bath every day and that’s fine but it’s not necessary . Sometimes my child needs a bath more than twice a week depending on activity levels sometimes not. I don’t just shove him in the bath every single day when there is no need. Everyone in my family are medical professionals and so am I . None of us stink . We all shower every single day as adults so I don’t know why you keep implying I have a cycle of stinky people in my family or that I am a neglectful parent.