Social referral.. never had this before and absolutely terrified

[Wonderland12]

Speech & language referred to SS apparently school have raised concerns also but not said anything. Allegations are dental neglect and that his teeth “look dirty” - has weak teeth dentist visit today confirmed reduce in sugar but otherwise all dental care perfect brushing by ourselves and no issue with brushing teeth all being done as should. Required some treatment which was given but nothing out of the ordinary or extreme. Dentist said it’s just where he has has previous treatment and stains it looks “dirty” but nothing wrong. He has routine appointments we attend all and he goes to any treatments they plan.

Permanent stain on school clothes - they raised stains or marks on school jumper. Clothes always washed but has got a permanent small stain about 5mm wide on one and a couple of very light pen marks on the other.. they don’t come out I’ve tried.

Says he has a dirty neck sometimes.. he has a bath at least twice a week, usually plays outside school in the mornings before they go in with his friends in the grass on the field & also eats a breakfast pastry on the way to school and he’s not a clean eater. Could be from that but he is bathed and cleaned regularly we are not dirty people!!

Now have to wait for a SS call or visit, absolutely beside myself as he is extremely well cared for the anxiety is horrific thinking people think he might not be cared for when it couldn’t be further from the truth

If it's as you say, I don't think it's going anywhere.

How old is he? Why has he needed dental treatment? Why only 2 baths a week? DS is 7 and has a bath or shower every day and still looks grubby by the end of it, I can't imagine not showering him before bed.
Why is he having SALT input?

Two baths a week isn't ideal. I appreciate you say "at least two" so it could be more but I would be stepping that up.
They'll be building a picture, and a dirty child with dental issues doesn't look good, OP.

What dental treatment? Do you mean the standard fluoride or something else?

How old is he? Needing to reduce sugar, only 2 baths a week and eating a pastry for breakfast on the school run all aren’t great but can’t see why SS would need to be involved.

They will probably just ring you.

2 baths a week is fine IMO if pre-puberty and not doing anything excessively muddy.

I don't think you need to worry about this. But I'd be stepping up the baths for sure.

This seems very strange. My 7 year old has three baths a week, wears stained tops to school ( because the school tops are white and he stains them with lunch immediately and I'm not buying new ones every week) and his new teeth look dodgy to me although dentist thinks they're ok. I'm not expecting social services to come calling so what has actually prompted this for you?

Try not to worry, if he’s well cared for they won’t take it further. I think two baths a week okay unless he’s getting excessively dirty but no harm in giving him an extra wipe down if he gets messy while playing.

Over 20% of 5 year old have obviously dental decay. Social services hardly have the resources to engage with all of those families.

You'll be fine. New uniform bought for September and shower him everyday. Kids get grubby and you want to instill good habits for teenage hood and beyond.. so everyday. And show him how to scrub with a flannel.. we used to say bits and pits!!!
Surely dirty neck could be a tshirt tan too?!
Could it be vexatious too?

Maybe proper brekky at home no more on the go sugary and messy pastries.

What else is going on with the same school?

Wow. I'd not heard that statistic, that's shocking!

I wouldn't worry OP. I'd say the furthest it would go on that is early help. If you get offered support from a family support worker take it up. I'll be completely honest, some of the stuff you've written isn't great but not all parents have been taught how to parent well and need that extra bit of guidance.

My DD’s white polos are full
of stains after week one of the new academic year!

Why did speech and language make a referral? Backed up by his school ?

Don’t be frightened OP if he is a happy loved secure child .

Can you manage to get him ready 15 mins earlier and give him some slightly healthier breakfast sitting at the table?

And make sure he has a shower most days or at least every other day ? Primary school kids are grubby little creatures!

But nothing you describe is anywhere close to ‘take the children away’ territory!

I don't think it will go anywhere tbh.

DS is extremely speech delayed, had a lot of salt input, and is due to have 4 teeth removed at 7. He also baths about twice a week, not for lack of trying more, it's like trying to bath cats.

There are days I've had to brush DSs teeth in the car at the school gate because he also eats food last minute as we're about to walk out of the door and it's usually really crumbly stuff, and I have to get his creases with a baby wipe.

The stains in his uniform accumulate over the school year and by the end of the school year he isn't the only one going in with clean but stained clothes, we buy new in the summer holidays.

SS Just have to do their due diligence, be open and honest with them, cooperate and the case will likely close as quickly as it was opened.

If he’s been attending the dentist regularly prior to the complaint being raised then it’s unlikely to go anywhere. And two baths per week is fine for a young primary-aged child.

Most of these complaints end up being closed off pretty quickly, OP. I know it’s not a pleasant thing to happen, but you’ll get through it.

why is your child only have 2 baths a week?

Sorry to hear this OP-this could have been many of the kids I went to school with and none of them got referred (people would have known, because when SS were involved with a family in a different situation, everyone seemed to talk about it).

I doubt it is just over a few stains and dental visit. If it is it won’t justify more than a quick phone call. Does the condition of his teeth affect his speech? Might school have other concerns about time keeping, attendance or behaviour?

Because that's fine for most primary age children.

Not if they look visibly dirty by the OP's admission. It's an every day thing in most families. All that nonsense about it being bad for skin conditions has been proven false. You want to be setting good habits for adulthood and not let a child get used to looking and feeling dirty and sweaty.

My Dd2 was like wrestling a bear for baths in nursery and primary.
Seriously. I don't think it's uncommon.
We did flannel every day morning and before bed.

She still hates baths and has settled on 3 a week and an extra if very much needed.
No complains from school. She still flannel of course.