Allowing a 14-year-old daughter to stay at her boyfriend’s house

[Tlt5]

Where do people stand on allowing their 14 year old daughter to stay overnight at a boyfriend’s house?

What is the reason? E.g are DD and boyfriend going to a show in London with his sensible and nurturing parents, won't be home until super late and other parents have said she can stay in their spare room?

Or is all this just theoretical?

I’d say no, it’s far too early.
My DD is 19 and has only recently had her boyfriend staying.
I can’t even imagine her asking at 14, they are still children

Not theoretical. She wants to stay at his house overnight baring in mind I’ve never had a conversation with his mother! She’s not actually 14 until middle of September and I’m just like seriously??!!

That was the bit I found hardest. At that age they were just friends in a small school that had somehow become really segregated socially and this was the easiest way for them to get their peers to accept their friendship. I was surprised it lasted and became romantic. They broke up for a year at 14/15 when they went to different schools but missed each other and got back together. It’s been a more romantic relationship since.

Your 13 year old is asking if she can stay the night at her boyfriend's? 😐

Sounds like they may already be sexually active. Yikes. I'd be putting her on lockdown.

I would assume that you were joking !

O no apparently I need to be more trusting and just because she wants to stay there doesn’t mean they’re doing anything……I’m like really?? It’s caused problems with my daughter and with my mother as being undermined as her MOTHER and SOLE PARENT is just not ok with me….so then I’m questioning my own parenting.

Unfortunately I’m really not!!

My daughter, who is 15, has a bf who lives an hour away. I have met his parents and all arrangements are discussed. On one occasion, it was his older sister’s birthday and she was having a family party, which my daughter was invited to. As it was in the evening and an hour away, his mum asked if my daughter could stay over, but in separate rooms )she slept in the sister’s room). All
was above board, separate rooms and parents checking in. If my daughter’s bf lived closely, there would be no sleepovers. I do think these things can be managed. I would class myself as an excellent and very cautious mum. I am very open with my daughter and she is with me. Trust is very important.

She’s not even 14 yet, there is not special event or special circumstances no separate rooms. They live 25 mins away from each other, I’ve never spoken to his parents! It’s a joke to me that she even asked

Not a fucking chance in hell will that be happening.

I wouldn't be standing in Maternity in nine months time.
It's a big, fat not on your life.

Nope

I don’t have kids - but absolutely no way!!!

The ‘ you need to be more trusting’ is a classic one unfortunately and for me, it would be a no, non negotiable !

I wouldn't have allowed this. My DD was 16 before she brought it up. I said that it would be contingent on his parents, who I knew quite well by this point and saw regularly, being OK with it. I made it clear that if his parents weren't fully on board, it wouldn't be happening, bearing in mind the BF had a younger sister. At no point did I delude myself that they could be doing whatever they fancied without me knowing about it.

Hell no! Not a chance!

It's a no from me. I wouldn't let my 16yo have his then girlfriend stay over. (If it was up to me I would raise the age of consent to 18 anyway.) It isn't about age of consent, or even knowing they'll be at it anyway, it's about not allowing too much pressure on a young person's relationship.

No is a complete sentence.

Absolutely not.

@Tlt5 It would be a big fat no from me then! That is way too young x

No.

If this is real, I would keep your mother and sister away from your daughter. Spend more time with her, work on her self esteem etc. This is far from normal.

Trusting of hormonal teens 😅. Despite the hormones they're still basically children so, in a word, no. It's not on.

Unfortunately it is!! As a single mother I have relied a lot on my parents as I’m sure a lot of us have and I’m not ashamed to admit it! However my mother has continually undermined me at every chance she’s had which has given MY daughter the opportunity to manipulate and play us off against each other. She walked out of my house and went to my mother’s and has been there since. It was a phone call with my sister that led to me being such a terrible mother by not allowing her stay at her bfs, not hang around with a girl the same age that’s made some questionable allegations and put restrictions on her phone