17 year old not passed test - took my car out at 1am in the morning

[ThisBlueQuail]

My 17 year old son who has had 2 driving lessons took my car out at 1am in the morning - would you stop driving lessons?

As a magistrate, I see kids in youth court - and adult court - taking parents' cars all the time. It is a criminal offence - he'd be done for taking without consent, no licence, no insurance and end up with 6-8 points. This will be on his driving licence for 3 years. Imagine the cost of insurance when he has passed with points already there!! He could have caused an accident, killed someone!! Custody!!!

Was he alone in the car or with friends? I would stop lessons anyway, but this is important to find out. Get a tracker in your car and keep the keys hidden!

@ThisBlueQuail
Stop him now, he's obviously immature and impulsive
Sleep with the keys round your neck, under your pillow or in a safe if you have to?
If he ever sneaked out again
Had an accident
Possibly inflicted life changing injuries
Or worse
He might claim you knew
And the fallout would be brutal to say the least
And stop those lessons too
Driving is not a thing you can fudge through....

No wonder they do it, there are virtually no consequences. A 3-year ban would be more appropriate.

I did something stupid like that when I was 17 too. I was a dumb idiot. But I somehow reasoned with myself it was okay. Was caught out by my dad. He had stern words. And then left it at that. Didn’t do it again. And I’m now fully grown up and haven’t repeated the episode of stupidity.

Eh? Taking a vehicle without owners consent can carry a prison sentence of up to 6 months.

Yes definitely he’s proved he’s not nearly mature enough

Yes and I wouldn’t restart them at all . He does not understand the responsibility of driving or owing a car or the repercussions of what he has done so if this was my son he would be having lessons once he could pay for them and a car and insurance himself . No second chances ! He could have killed himself or others .

I am shocked that he even considered this

what was his “explanation” for stealing your car at 1 am and driving it inc on a dual carriageway

He is so lucky that he and your car are ok, that he didn’t get picked up by the police and more Importantly did not kill or harm anyone else

I would certainly not be insuring him on my car or paying for any lessons until he matured - the consequences could have been awful

I would buy a key safe and lock all keys away now, from a safety point of view you can’t trust him.

IMO bare minimum consequence would be stopping to pay for lessons so he has to fund it himself. Personally I would inform the police. I’d rather have an annoyed teenager than a dead one or one responsible for someone’s death. The fact that he only realised it was stupid when he couldn’t park and not when he was driving on a dual carriageway at night with no experience also shows he’s too immature to be trusted with a car.

I'd definitely put them on pause at least, 17yo has to learn actions have consequences. That's scary to think what may have happened

Oh, his only concern was parking?

Not being stopped by the police and arrested?

Not losing control and crashing and injuring himself or an innocent party?

I would: absolutely stop the driving lessons. If he wants to do them, then from now on he pays for them himself via part time work.

Hide your keys at all times.

Conversely, no I wouldn’t stop lessons, because I would want him to pass his test and drive legally.

My (not D)SS did this, albeit with the car he'd inherited from his DGM, and wrote off 6 parked cars.

His mother, whose name it was registered and insured in, covered for him and told the police that it had been stolen. She then claimed on her insurance for the car that had been "stolen" and written off.

To make matters worse, he was pissed and stoned at the time. My DP was fucking furious when he found out.

Are police officers still allowed to give an unofficial bollocking to put the fear of God into idiots? I recall a couple of friends years and years ago where caught shop-lifting in a sweet shop, their mothers arranged for a policeman to come round, they were never tempted to steal again!

I personally know 2 teenagers under 18 who took cars drove their friends and ended up killing a passenger. They were both totally ostracised by their community's. They think they know everything they think they are indestructible. A stupid decision could ruin his life whether he likes it is your job to protect him from his own immature brain.

The crime was OP's son breaking the law by driving illegally and putting other road users at risk. He would have a criminal record if he had been caught by the police and he would probably be banned from driving.

Stopping his driving lessons wouldn't be punishment enough in my opinion.

What an absolute idiot he is. I would BAN lessons until he understands the gravity of responsibility of driving. Lock your keys away at night.

All this, with bells on!

I wonder whether you could get a police officer to come and read him the riot act? I think I’d ask the local cop shop!

Disagree rgds stopping lessons..on the contrary I'd continue them and word the instructor up on what he's done. They'll reinforce the lesson he needs to learn, and he'll be acquiring more skills to make his driving safer in future. maybe insist he does an advanced course on top of the basic one, and make him pay for it.

Yes absolutely. In our house there would be extremely serous consequences to this. He would no longer be having driving lessons. I would be delaying this until he is around 19 when he will hopefully have grown up a bit and he would be grounded for weeks.

Yes, no more driving lessons.

He is not mature enough for the responsibility. It doesn’t matter that driving is a life skill - it is a life skill for adults who can cope with the responsibility, not idiotic teens who are a danger to themselves and all others in the road.

Doesnt mean never, but I’d say at least a year should pass.

And tell him if he does it again you will tell the Police and do it. Do not be complicit in his crime that could cost a life.

Honestly….taking it in the first place…and then going in a dual carriageway. Clearly is impulsive and has reckless behaviour and isn’t ready for the reposinibility. Does he have ADHD or similar? No excuse and doesnt alter the answer to the Q. But if he’s done this, Insuspect it’s not his first impulsive nor dangerous action.

Yes - stop lessons immediately until a full apology and undertaking not to do it again has been received. Also, assuming he was alone he was breaking the law, and he is probably not old enough to have realised how stupid it is. My dad used to say that the only people out on the road at that time of night are you, crooks, drunks and the police - and the police know that too, so there is a very high likelihood of getting stopped. Really, this is idiotic on so many levels, and he needs absolutely to be aware of that before he goes anywhere near a car again.

I agree, but there would be serious ground rules around using my car . Driving is an essential skill , using my car is a privilege.