17 year old not passed test - took my car out at 1am in the morning

[ThisBlueQuail]

My 17 year old son who has had 2 driving lessons took my car out at 1am in the morning - would you stop driving lessons?

I’d be livid.

I agree with pp he can pay for his own driving lessons.

No one is advocating him being denied driving lessons indefinitely. But I do think a cool down period would give him space to reflect. If he had been caught, caused an accident or worse there would be no, “well he needs the life skill of driving”. There would be immediate penalties and consequences.

Hes broken the lawn and must face the consequences. No more driving lessons until he grows up and starts acting responsibly.
Take your car keys to bed with you at night

This is so stupid of him that my concern would be whether I can trust him not to drink drive when he does past his test. Was it completely out of character OP or is he known for impulsive behaviour and poor decisions?

Continue lessons.
Hide your keys.

Take DS to visit where 17 year olds stay in a remand centre, those who have had an accident driving illegally and injured someone. Arrange that with the local Police who can educate about ramifications of stealing and joy riding.

Inform DS that you will report him to Police the second he tries it again.

As the parent of a 17 year old, I would absolutely stop
lessons! What an idiot. Him, not you.

Taking without owners consent just the type of idiot the police will stop at 1am.

Yes, if you want him to become an 18-year-old

Stop driving lessons? OP, you need to report him to the police. What would you do if it was your neighbour or work colleauge?

This is a serious crime OP. He could kill someone. You owe it to the rest of society to do the right thing.

Actually the punishment more than fits the crime. It’s a crime to drive uninsured (which a 17 year old without a licence is in this instance) and would probably be convicted and banned from driving for a year if he had been caught doing this. He has committed a serious crime here.

No don’t stop lessons. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime.

Well if he had been caught, being banned from driving would have been the punishment. So how does it not fit the crime? (And it is a crime.)

It's also a consequence of him demonstrating that he is not mature enough to be behind the wheel of a car. So I'd say you aren't paying for any more lessons until you're convinced he's grown up. And yes, hide the car keys.

That wouldn't preclude him paying for lessons himself.

100% and I’m usually quite lax. He’s shown he can’t make good decisions around a vehicle.

I’d make sure he realised that he has broken the law, could have destroyed your car, could have killed himself, and of course mostly, could have killed other people. Ensure he realises how extremely careless, stupid and reckless he’s been.
i wouldn’t necessarily stop lessons, but I’d make damn sure that he was earning them. Whether that’s through finding a job, or doing a lot of chores at home (or both). I’d hide the keys at night. And if let him know that if he EVER did that again, you’ll report the car as stolen to the police (and actually do so). Lay it on to him how dangerous it was. If he doesn’t take it seriously then keep a good eye on him and really do report him to the police if you suspect he’s going for joy rides.

I would allow the lessons but also make sure there were serious consequences. A major pocket money dedication and a period of time away from his friends.

And I would keep my car keys locked away.

You'd let him get away with this serious crime with a talking to? You wouldn't even stop lessons?

He should be prosecuted.

What would you do if he ran someone over and killed them? Take his PS5 off him?

Stop them immediately. My 17 year old and any of the many 17 year olds I know would genuinely never even think to do this, incredibly dangerous

Jesus, little tinker. Yeah, wouldn't pay any more for lessons and I would most certainly hide the keys. He's not mature enough yet to drive anyway because he's not understanding how dangerous he was.

Amazing how many middle class parents think their kids should suffer zero consequences, even when they commit a serious crime.

Honesty and genuinely shocked at this thread.

Police Officer here 👋. I investigate fatal road traffic collisions for a living. He is lucky he didn’t kill
someone (or himself). Clearly thinks he is above the law so can only imagine what kind of young driver he is going to be. I wouldn’t be funding anything driving/car related. Other than the driving offences he has committed, he has also committed theft.

No but I'm afraid I'd be contacting the police . . .

I’m amazed more people haven’t said he should be reported to the police straight away. Yes this might be his “first offence” but it’s still just as illegal and just as dangerous.

Ensure he has some deserved and lasting consequences.

In fairness, we don't know it's his first offence. It's the first time he's been caught.

Then as a police officer you must know it's only theft if there was an intention to permanently deprive the owner of the vehicle, and that would not be possible to show here.

It's taking without owners consent
Twocing.