17 year old not passed test - took my car out at 1am in the morning

[ThisBlueQuail]

My 17 year old son who has had 2 driving lessons took my car out at 1am in the morning - would you stop driving lessons?

I think right now you can't let him have anymore lessons until you are well passed a point at which speeding fines may arrive and his illegality really gets found out. I don't know what the deal is with driving instructors but I wouldn't be so sure they'd have the insurance cover to take somebody guilty of a very serious traffic offence.

And that's another point, his insurance costs would be expensive enough at his age, if anything had happened or the police find out what he did and he gets a criminal record for it, he can forget getting insurance for a very long time because the cost would be ludicrous. Never ever let him have your car keys and tell him he won't be getting a car until he's working and saved up for it himself.

Parents need to come down heavy on their sons and stop letting them dick around in cars at night! I am sick of hearing about crash after crash where some young fucknugget has snuffed out the lives of up to 5 people! I hear people's arsehole sons tearing about late at night near me at times, they scream through a residential area at crazy speeds and make the car exhaust explode 30 times in quick succession at nearly 11pm! Parents need to take responsibility for this behaviour!

Yes the point to which I was responding said it was theft. It clearly wasn't because there was no intention to permanently deprive. TWOC is totally different and clearly applies in this case. I didn't say it needed intention to permanently deprive for TWOC, I believe you are attributing a comment to me that I did not make.
I do hope that clears things up for you.

And the rest!

Hes lucky he didnt recieve a conviction or cause an accident

He's not out of the woods yet if he's been picked up on speed camera on the dualer.

So, if he'd been caught it would be what? Licence suspended 6 months? Few weeks community service? So no driving lessons for at least 6 months, keep your car keys locked away, and a fuckton of extra chores.

And conviction = vvv expensive car insurance.

Nope. He had to admit it as he might have been able to gaslight you into thinking you'd parked a bit wonky, but he needs you to have partially forgiven him ahead of you getting the speeding ticket or whatever is coming your way, which will obviously have been him as it will be timestamped to when you were in bed/his face is in it. 100mph plus down a clear dual carriageway/a hit and run on a parked car with a dashboard cam are sounding like best case scenarios. Are you going to take the rap for whatever is coming? He does not sound particularly sorry.

@ThisBlueQuail so when the court summons comes through your letter box, or the visit from the police at your door, are you going to do the right thing and tell them it was your inexperienced, unqualified and uninsured teenager was driving or cover for him?

If the former, you need to tell them before they find you. That way you won’t get hauled over the coals as well for not informing the authorities of the crime taking place.

If the latter, your parenting needs to be looked at.

I’m a driving instructor, a very patient and calm one, but if one of mine did this I’d be furious with them. One of the lessons would be all about scaring the living bejesus out of them.

For instance check out yellow backgrounds to road signs, they indicate many accidents have happened in that location. I’d find out about the locations and make it shocking.

The best person I spoke to was a recovery truck, he’d only just pulled two deceased teenagers out of a river the week before.

Driving is a huge responsibility, the decision can only be yours but speak to your sons instructor, he will no doubt develop a plan.

Bonkers!

Driving absolutely is NOT an essential life skill, plenty of people get along perfectly without it. And even if it was, he can learn it after age 25, when he's mature enough to deal with it.

Oh, and it's swimmers that die in water, you know. Non swimmers don't go in the water.

What a fucking idiot. He can’t park yet he can speed around the bypass? He could have killed someone.

Read him the riot act. Spell out clearly what could have happened.

These must be massive consequences for this.

Sorry but if this was one of our older sons like it or not me or dh would have reported him. Theft of a car, driving with no license or insurance sorry but a lesson needs learnt here because of any of you who say stop his lessons had actually been hit by him you would be saying very different words!

Not sure OP is coming back …

This. Have you not considered this, OP? What are you going to do if you get a speeding letter? Are you going to take the points for him, which is an offence?

Or are you going to say it was him but claim you’ve only just realised?

Either way you’re lying to the police. You need to explain this to him right now as in a few days’ time this situation could get a lot more serious if a speeding letter appears.

The only sensible thing you can do now is report him to protect yourself unless he is willing to admit it to the police himself. He will probably lose his prov license which is probably a sensible thing given the level of immaturity and stupidity he has displayed.

My DS18 is learning and tough though it is we would have reported him because he needs to face the consequences and we could get into some serious trouble by trying to cover it up.

Oh dear. Only realised it was risky because he was going to get caught. And dual carriage way?! 😬 Not just practicing on residential roads.

@ThisBlueQuail You know your son better than anyone, his response and reaction to you finding out….

Maybe call his driving instructor for advice? Drops him in it with them too! Maybe one more lesson so he gets a bollocking from them?!

Edited to add: is it kind of awful that I hope he gets a ticket so you can declare him as the driver. Natural consequence…. 🤷‍♀️

Tell him you reported his actions to the police. Watch him crap himself.
Stop paying for lessons and tell him he needs to do jobs to get lessons.
Hide your keys.

Interesting, isn't it, that serious crimes (TWOC is generally community service, sometimes prison) can be glossed over with a bollocking where the criminal is middle class.

What would you do if he killed someone? Take his PS5 off him?

So what have you actually done? I can't really believe it's true.

I actually did this as a 17 year old, back in 1998. I always remember it as the worst thing I ever did as a kid and I'm horrified looking back. I think you just need to explain the potential consequences.

Bad analogy - kids who aren’t strong swimmers and haven’t been taught the dangers do go in the water and die. Tragically common in hot weather.

Op if you don’t take away the lessons, what other punishment would you be giving? What he did is very serious. Has he even done his theory test yet?

He also doesn’t understand how lucky he was to have you funding his driving lessons in the first place. Now he can pay for his own when he is responsible enough to earn his own money.

No I wouldn’t stop lessons but I would take your car keys to bed with you.

He has been impulsive and that’s a concern, there needs to be consequences or you could see worse when he has passed his test.

i would consider pulling lessons for next 6-12 weeks (depending on how severe you want to be), as I agree with some previous posters that having a driving licence (depending on where you live) is a big enabler in adult life for employment, family life etc.so cancelling fir er could be very harsh.

w”When my DD was 17, she had a party in our house when we were away overnight and we had just bought her a second hand car, I took it away for 4 months. She says it was the worst punishment ever and we never saw a repeat. It was a bit of a watershed moment in a good way!

Passing a driving test does not guarantee safe driving afterwards, as witness too many young men with valid licences who manage to kill themselves and their friends on the roads.