How to talk to my daughter about very short, tight shorts

[YepIChangedMyNameForThis]

My 14 year old daughter went shopping with friends yesterday and came home with the shortest, tightest denim shorts EVER.
They look like they would feel too tight and go right up her bum, she said they didn't. She also said a friend of hers had a similar pair on yesterday.

They just don't look great, how the hell do I say it without her thinking I am saying she looks fat in them!

Can you see her bum cheeks? If so, tell her that. My DD is 15 and I have to pick my battles. But we do have a “no bum cheeks on show” rule.

Umm you don’t really I’m afraid. I would feel
like you, I hate it when they buy things that are not flattering just because they’re fashionable but it is just the way of the world.
I agree that unless her bum cheeks are on show you might have to let this one go.

Tell her she’s likely to get thrush.

I’d probably ‘accidentally’ lose them when she put them in the wash. When she asks ‘mum, have you seen my shorts?’. I would reply that I hadn’t .

What don't you like about them? If it is too much bum then tell her but they all seem to be wearing shortest of shorts so she won't be alone in them not suiting her,

OP, please do don't say anything negative to her about her clothes or how her body looks in clothes. The youth don't make the horrible comments about who should wear what based on body shape that we endured. In my experience it is a short phase with very revealing clothing and it is based on fashion rather than anything sinister/attracting the opposite sex. If you can possibly just tell her how lovely she is in lots of contexts and prevent yourself from wincing at flesh on show, I think you'll do her a massive favour for the future.

DD14's friends come in all shapes and sizes and there was plenty of flesh on show at a recent event from all of them, and nobody batted an eyelid. In my day, anyone who was less than perfect would have been scrutinised for so called flaws but that, thank god, seems to have passed. By 17/18 they seem to wear more so this too will pass.

Why don’t they look great?

They’re in fashion. Almost every teen girl I see is wearing them here now the weather is warm. You may not think they look great but you’re older so won’t think the same as teens do about clothes. Your daughter obviously likes them so I’d just leave her to it.

If they look uncomfortable they’ll probably feel uncomfortable and she’ll end up not wearing them.

I'm not sure how I'll handle clothing where there is too much on show as haven't quite gotten there yet but if it's just a case of you don't think they look great rather than it being she's got her cheeks hanging out, she has her friends for that and you are best biting your tongue. One day she'll come to you and say how could you let me wear that? You do know your daughter best so if you think there's a way to say it and she won't get upset, I'd go with my concerns about her getting thrush!
If it's a cheeks out situation, I'll be telling my daughter that kindly that she's a child and children shouldn't have their private body parts on show.

Does nobody remember being young anymore?!

I wore tiny hot pants and badly fitting bra tops in the summer at that age. I also wore horrendous streaky wash-off fake tan and put Sun-In in my hair 😆. I looked a state and I’m sure my mother was horrified, but we are ‘old’ and they are teenagers. Of course you don’t like how they dress.

‘You’ll get thrush’ just sounds like a 2026 version of ‘you’ll catch your death going out in that’ 😆

I would tell her it looks great and I would get a pair so we can wear matching ones how about we go shopping for some

Or piles from sitting on cold stones. Don't know anyone that happened to but the warning was prevalent in the 80s. 🤣

Teens I know look really stylish. Their make up is so well applied, their hair is well styled and they know how to dress, probably the access they have to all the make up, fashion and hair tutorials online.

Yep, I remember my Gran having a heart attack over the mini skirts I used to wear. Every generation is duty bound to offend the one before. It’s normal.

I’d picked my son and his friends from a festival last night and they were everywhere, so current trend, I really do feel for you, I felt uncomfortable seeing that amount of young women like that.

I'd have to tell her. Probably something along the lines of "if you're going to indecently expose yourself, at least wait till you're 18 and charge for it on Only Fans - giving it away for free is fiscally irresponsible as well as a crime against fashion".

Jesus Christ, I hope you don't really have a daughter.

Yep, a fabulous, wonderful adult one who is sat beside me on the sofa right now as we're about to spend the day together ❤️

Or "You'll get piles" from sitting on a stone wall.

What did you wear as a teenager? I remember wearing ridiculously short skirts and shorts. I was a teen in the late 90s and short shorts, crop tops, etc., were in fashion. I even wore a very short pair of jean shorts yesterday!!

Cross posted

I’m another one who’d lose them in the wash.

That’s the “style” these days for all shapes and sizes. I must have seen at least 50 girls with their cheeks out when I went to London recently. I can’t say I’m a fan but she won’t stick out.

I do have a similar issue with my 17yo.
She went to hollister and spent £40 on the tiniest shorts you have ever seen in your life. Thankfully that was around March and she hasn't worn them out yet.

The thing that I always want to bring up but never have is that she doesn't wear a bra and wears tight tops and you can clearly see her nipples.

Even typing that makes me feel like a prude and the feminist in me is shouting that men have nipples too and they don't have to cover them, they even go topless in summer and that there is absolutely no requirements for her to wear a bra!!
But the mother in me, who knows what men are like and sees men staring at her daily because of it shudders.

But I have never said anything because the issue isn't her or her body but lecherous men.