How to talk to my daughter about very short, tight shorts

[YepIChangedMyNameForThis]

My 14 year old daughter went shopping with friends yesterday and came home with the shortest, tightest denim shorts EVER.
They look like they would feel too tight and go right up her bum, she said they didn't. She also said a friend of hers had a similar pair on yesterday.

They just don't look great, how the hell do I say it without her thinking I am saying she looks fat in them!

At 14?

What happened to "ha. Think again. No chance you're going out in that, love"?

I got sent back upstairs to change. And to "wipe that muck off (my) face" at that age.

Now we're saying nothing and letting our kids go out with their arse hanging out?

No thanks. Nothing wrong with saying get yerself back upstairs and into something decent, lass!

It is possible for girls and women to dress for themselves, not men. And some women are gay so they may be dressing for women to look at them, if not just dressing for themselves. Maybe she just finds bras uncomfortable and won’t conform to wearing them to please others.

There is some real internalised misogyny going on on this thread. It’s 2026 and this is a predominantly women’s forum. Nothing has really improved. How depressing.

Obviously, you're not serious about calling an impressionable young girl fat? Please, for the love of all things good and holy, tell me you are not serious.

This is about girl's having self respect for themselves, not felling they have to follow a fashion

But at 14, OP's daughter would rather follow the fashion. She can then work out for herself what her personal style is and what she wants to wear.
Being a teen is hard. Wearing the same clothes as everyone else is part of fitting in.

Admire them and ask if you can take photos of her wearing them, she will then see the back view which most wearers don’t see clearly.

My daughter nearly died when I brought the same liberty tennis shoes as hers, I did promised not to wear them with her though.

I remember cutting up old jeans to make shorts and managing to keep the gusset intact was a skill in itself, so they must have been pretty short. I think ours were cut in more of a V shape than those of today too!
I suggested tights to go underneath when DD had hers, which might not be great for the sun next week and heat but does help a little with the "please don't bend down in public!" panic they gave me.

🤢

Wish someone would tell my DD this. She's 25, single, curvy (not fat) and still wears very tight, very short clothes. I wince sometimes when I see her going out.

Just tell her straight shes not wearing them and that's it, shes still a child and shouldn't be wearing anything that shows bum cheeks , I find it very tacky. Ive see adult women showing bum cheeks and I just think why, nobody wants to see that. Have some respect for themselves.

My nieces live in one of those places. They both have very different styles and don’t have to dress for any culture. Are you quite ok?

She’ll wear a skirt of a reasonable length and when out of your sight she’ll whip it off to reveal her new shorts to all and sundry.

They're the teenage fashion I gather. I've seen lots of girls wearing them with the zip and button undone, a strange look I think.

Internal is misogyny? Fancy clever sound in phrase that means you don’t agree with somebody

You wish someone would tell her what? What has the fact she’s single got to do with anything?

I find the short shorts the most flattering! Obvs no bum cheeks on show at my ripe old age!

What’s wrong with legs btw? Most people do have them.

Local councils in France are banning shitless men from shops and cafes, could be fined. Would this work for girls/women revealing too much?

Shirtless

I’m sure she winces at your outfits too.

This.

I can't imagine ever judging my own daughters based on their body shape.

Both of mine wear shorts like this. One is very slim, and one is towards the higher end of a healthy BMI. They both look amazing, whatever they wear, and neither of them is short of male (or female) attention, so I'm not sure why this poor woman being single is relevant?

FWIW, the fashion seems to be to wear these shorts with thick tights or long blazers or cardigans that cover the arse. Not that it matters, people should not be looking at their arse anyway. They are entitled to dress however they choose, and anyone who doesn't like it is entitled not to look.

DH is often horrified by DDs outfits

ultimately she will just change once she’s out - she has friends whose parents think they dress conservatively but having seen the photos they are clearly changing once out

best way is to have a conversation around appropriateness for the situation - so she knows that what she wears to the beach isn’t appropriate for walking around London.

she went out a few weeks back in her short shorts, baggy t and cowboy boots and she came home a bit upset by all the attention she had received from men (seems to have been the combination oddly) and we talked about how we shouldn’t have to dress for other people but we do need to be cognisant that other people don’t always think in ways that are reasonable. The problem is that men do think women are dressing for their benefit 🙄

At least kids today have pretty underwear to flash! When I was strutting my stuff back in the day it was grim conical bras that could stand up on their own, huge knickers that would be judged too big for a fat pregnant granny to wear by todays standards and tights that went baggy as soon as you opened the packet. As someone up thread said, young girls today are better groomed and turned out than we ever were, and we all thought we were the dogs bollocks.

I wouldn’t wish to be a teen again, but I do envy them some of the things they take for granted, their ( apparent) confidence, their good hair , their skill with makeup and the availability of better san pro for a start.

“Good morning, lovely. You look like ten kinds of hell; have a great day!”

This is my approach. “DD your arse is sticking out for the world to see and whilst your arse looks fab you are not old enough to be revealing that to the world , they will have to go back”

When I was that age, I was too embarrassed to show off my figure. How sad is that? I look back and have no clue why I was like that.
I am glad that girls today have so much more body confidence.
i also know it’s not easy as a Mother, seeing them in certain outfits, but before you know it they will be adults and life will get less free for them.
I say they should enjoy every minute of this time.