How to talk to my daughter about very short, tight shorts

[YepIChangedMyNameForThis]

My 14 year old daughter went shopping with friends yesterday and came home with the shortest, tightest denim shorts EVER.
They look like they would feel too tight and go right up her bum, she said they didn't. She also said a friend of hers had a similar pair on yesterday.

They just don't look great, how the hell do I say it without her thinking I am saying she looks fat in them!

My daughter was like this at around 15. I told her she had to decide if between tits or arse as she could only have one hanging out when she left the house.

She is now 21 and seems to wear very baggy trousers or jeans with tiny underwear type contraptions on top and I can't tell her what to do anymore.

You don’t basically
I’m sure most of us wore ridiculous or unflattering clothing when we were teens, she’ll realise for herself what suits her as she grows up.
I often have to bite my tongue when it comes to my DDs school skirt- I only say something if I can actually see her bottom

Haha yes this!

Haha. I don’t have daughters but I can be blunt so would have no trouble saying put your arse cheeks away!

I’m quite relieved I have sons, who wear baggy jeans and oversized t shirts. I usually only have to ask what rock band their t shirt is.

Let her be!

I’m at a festival this weekend which is popular with the 17-20 crowd and virtually every girl/woman is in teeny tiny short with arse pretty much fully on show. It’s just the fashion right now - she won’t stand out.

I’m 36 and my shorts are only very slightly less revealing lol. Paired with a crop top. Flesh on show is what summer is all about!

Honestly all the kids are wearing them. I was out yesterday and god I saw so many bum cheeks. I did also think fair play. I should have had my bum cheeks out more when it was young and non wrinkly 😂

If her bum isn’t hanging out I don’t see the problem with short shorts. They’ve been around and fashionable in the summer for decades.
Its more modest than a short skirt imo.

And don't go out with wet hair - you'll get pneumonia!

If her arse cheeks show. Lose them.
if just short, hey ho, could be worse.

It’s the current fashion.

she wants to wear the current fashion

(btw the teens of today strongly disapprove of the sort of body shaming in”she looks fat in them”). Expect a dressing down if you say that

On the one hand I think it’s great teens can wear whatever they want and whatever size they are nowadays. Some of them wear clothes that clearly don’t suit them or reveal a lot of flesh though. Back in the 80s when I was a young teen people were far more judgmental. My DM bought a lot of my clothes, though I bought things sometimes with my best friend. My mum liked me in black/navy, a classic French look, though I did have trendy clothes too. Once I came back after my mum had given me money with a fairly normal sleeveless but structured white top and 40s/50s style black shorts from Miss Selfridge which my best friend chose. My mum apparently thought it looked tarty but I wore them anyway.

The worrying thing back then is the amount of attention I and my friends got from young men and even older men. No matter what we/I wore. That’s what would concern me now, are teens equipped to deal with those comments? And the behaviour around it.

I sound very old now though!

god, some of these replies.
OP, your poor daughter
girls should wear what they want
warn them about what men might say and leave it there

I’d probably ‘accidentally’ lose them when she put them in the wash. When she asks ‘mum, have you seen my shorts?’. I would reply that I hadn’t
Dont be be liar, especially to your daughter.

I’ve got 4 DD’s and do say something if they are wearing something too revealing/shows too much flesh, I say it in a gentle way & they do listen. I very much encourage them to have their own style not wear something just cause friends are. I frame it around dressing appropriately rather than you have to cover up. Remind them not to wear anything you’re not comfortable in. As they are late teens/ young women now they are now wearing clothes that may still show a lot of flesh say mini skirt but no bum checks.

You don’t- she’s not hurting anyone, she’ll wear things you’ll consider worse as she gets older, she’ll probably find them uncomfortable and stop wearing them naturally. If she likes them that’s great!

I’m in the “if cheeks on show, it’s a no” camp but otherwise try to go with the flow. There’s so much clothing/body noise for girls I’ll actively try not to add to it but if she asks I’ll be gently honest if I don’t like something/think it suits her.

This is nonsense. We were all 14 once, I wore the inappropriate clothes to look sexy (not recognising that I was a child and that’s gross).

Don't sit on walls or cold steps you will get piles ! Was my Grans favourite i didn't even know what piles were 😂

I think denim shorts with literally a centimeter holding the legs together are ridiculous, but I’m too old to voice that opinion.
If I did they would insist even stronger on wearing them.
As a PP said, they could conveniently find their way to the bottom of the washing basket…

@MeepMeepMeepMeepMeep
The thing that I always want to bring up but never have is that she doesn't wear a bra and wears tight tops and you can clearly see her nipples.
Oh my goodness, that must be awful for you to know that the whole world realises that your DD has nipples. Literally every human being has them( unless they have had a mastectomy) I always wear a bra, but occasionally you can notice my nipples through my bra and T shirt, I have honestly never commented on any other woman who may be in a similar situation because they are just nipples, not fannys!

I’d just tell her they don’t fit and they’re inappropriate for hot weather as they’ll make her sweaty and uncomfortable.

My mum called them flap flossers back when I thought they looked good on me. In hindsight, yeah she was right.

Dd15 wears tiny denim shorts

we went shopping and she found a pair that exposed rather a lot of bum which I refused to buy. She has accepted that her bum cheeks need to be covered. I mean only just in some of the shorts tbh but she doesn’t wear with skimpy tops.

She wanted to wear them to own clothes day at school and we agreed that wasn’t appropriate school wear.

This feels very true.

If indeed this post is not about bumcheeks on display, which I don't like whatever the bodyshape.

I bought a tight dress once at the encouragement of my friends. I was 16 and a bit overweight (at the time I thought I was hugely obese - I was a size 12).

my mum who was a size 8 all her life pulled a face and said it just looks nasty - it’s not very forgiving and she gestured to my stomach. I am nearly 50 - I still remember every detail of that instant - the shame, the self disgust, the little stain on the carpet where I was standing.

choose your words very very carefully. Is it worth potentially a life time of body issues