16 Year old daughter doesn’t want to work 😢😕

[HeatherBlack1990]

PLEASE lovely girls ! I need your input 🙏🤝🫂
16 year old daughter has just been offered A CHANCE to come & help out in a busy office to give her something to do in the long Summer months
I know the employers & they are lovely 👍💕
Daughter can’t really be bothered 😕 AND expects ME to book & pay for dance schools and basically fund EVERYTHING all Summer long & BEYOND
It’s not so much the money - it’s that she has very little motivation 😢😞
I had my first job at 11 & worked part-time all through A Levels
Jess shows NO such motivation
ANY / ALL comments gratefully received 🙏🤝💕
Even the negative ones !!!

I 100% echo the othet posters mentioning the importance of gaining work experience and employability skills and references for her and young people in general at the minute, given the current climate.
It might also help her develop insight into the sorts of careers she might want when she is older.
I think working as a teenager also develops confidence and self esteem so should be encouraged!

If you're getting child benefit for her until she is eighteen then yes, you should pay. Let her have the Summer off, plenty of years to work in the future.

I started work at 16 and so glad i did. I will be encouraging my kids to do the same if they are able to secure something. Very good for building skills

My 16 yr old would be thrilled to have a summer job like that.

Not read the full thread yet, but you can certainly tell the mollycoddlers from some of the earlier responses and why there is such a problem today with spoilt, entitled youngsters!

”I’d let her have a break/she’s only young once” - even after the OP has already clarified it is part-time work in an office! Hardly sending her up the chimneys, is it?!

We hear a lot now how there is much more competition for young people in securing those first part-time/seasonal jobs that are so important for building confidence, independence and pride in earning your own money. And which can enhance a CV/provide something to talk about in future interviews. What a missed opportunity if she point blank refuses!

I also couldn’t quite believe “you SHOULD be paying her expenses at this age!” Well, yes, keeping her fed and watered, putting a roof over her head, supporting her education etc. But branded clothes, hair products and makeup? Nope - none of that is essential! Money to go and eat out or do fun stuff with friends? Nope - food at home you can eat and chores you can help with! Money for dance school? Nope - that’s a privilege and one of the first things I’d stop!

Honestly, most of the people I went to school with started working around that age! The confident ones secured jobs first and then others very quickly saw that they had money in their pocket and could treat themselves/do fun stuff without going cap in hand to mum and dad, so they soon followed suit!

Honestly, OP, I’d be very clear with her that you are only covering the basics from now on and her attitude is not good enough! If you don’t, I suspect you may be back here in a few years with a “failure to launch” situation, which, funnily enough, we see quite a lot on here these days….

Set an allowance. She has to pay for her activities and other things from that- if she needs any more money, she’ll have to earn it. That’s fair.

I think there should be a compromise at this age, she can’t do everything she wants if she won’t contribute to some extent but equally I don’t think you should refuse to pay for anything she wants to do given that she is only16.
I worked Saturdays and a few hours throughout the school holidays from 13 as a waitress in a tea rooms. My parents paid for my clothes etc but they made it clear that they wouldn’t be able to stretch to cinema, shopping with friends and a McDonald’s etc and told me I needed to get a job if I wanted to be able to keep up with what my friends were doing.
I think my parents probably did it the right way because it meant that I always managed my money, appreciated being able to get things and knew that I would have to work for the extras I wanted.
Our eldest has just started helping out for a couple of hours at my husband’s work as their Saturday boy.
I still pay for his combat class, clothes, phone but it meant that for his schools activities week he put some money towards the more expensive trip he wanted to go on, will use it for the cinema, gaming coins etc
He has a shoes/clothes budget from me, and will add to it to get the expensive branded trainers he wants as I refuse to spend £100 on a pair of trainers…
He is younger than your daughter, have you not brought the subject of a Saturday job up before?
Most 14 year olds in my Sons circle have little jobs and those that don’t are given chores/jobs to do in order to earn their allowance, I would expect a 16 year old to at least work a few hours a week if they can find something, leaving plenty of time to socialise but also doing something productive.

16 isn’t too young to work. I live in a really affluent area, and most of my daughter’s friends have part time jobs and have done since they were 16 or younger. None of them need to work, but they want to and enjoy having a bit of independent finance. My DD started swim teaching (having been a competitive swimmer) and has been earning and getting teaching qualifications for 4 years - skills and a self sufficient mind set that she’s determined to carry on through university. Her friends have taught instruments, done refereeing (whilst earning qualifications), babysitting, pet sitting, dog walking, washing cars, service work in restaurants/takeaways, and a few of the 18 year olds are now doing bar work. A nice, cushy office job wouldn’t be empty for long.

Is the dance camps something she has always done?
Is dance very important to her?
Is she planning on a career in dance or even regular amateur performances?
If yes - then I think she should do the camps.
As others have said the Post 16 summer is the last piece of childhood freedom.
It should be the summer of fun and discovery.
Let her dance 💃🕺

Would she work 2 days a week?

She’s only 16 ! She had decades of work ahead of her possible into her 70s for her generation. Let her enjoy her childhood unless you are desperate for money and financially you cannot support her.

She's lucky to be offered this, most of the teenagers in our family are desperately looking for jobs, and no one will hire them, mind you, many adults are out of work and struggling to find something round here.
I want my kids to get jobs if they can when they're that old, not only for money, but because you genuinely learn skills there that will be useful when they're adults.

Hardly her childhood. She is 16 and has been offered a great opportunity. No wonder I beat my head against a wall every day with entitled young people who think work is just an option for someone else.

Work builds independence and money gives freedom. Neither can be gained by being pandered to by indulgent parents.
Life is so easy nowadays but could get very much worse very quickly. I built my children up to cope with adversity whilst standing on their own two feet. They worked from 11 on game shoots. Both grew up to make measured choices and continue to thrive in their 30s.

The part-time office role the OP’s daughter has been offered sounds like a golden opportunity! I would have loved that! (Had to slum it in retail and hospitality instead 🤣)

It may well be that next summer, or the summer after, when she may start looking for a job but has zero work experience, she struggles to secure something, which is what we often hear about on here and in the news. In that case, she’ll be kicking herself that she didn’t snap up this opportunity!

I’m really incredulous that so many on here are so against a 16 year old working PART-TIME over the summer!

DS did not work until 18 (summer job for a few weeks) finished uni and now in his first graduate job working really hard and earning three times more than I did when I started my career. I don’t resent his few years of having fun and freedom before the long slog of work ahead of him.

Woah. Why wouldn't you strongly encourage her to do it? Part time too- perfect! You say she doesn't want to- maybe she's nervous but don't let that get in the way, keep talking and highlight the positives. Explain that you don't have to work in an office all your life if you don't want to, it's all about the skills.
The job market these days is hideous, so many young people want to work and can't find entry level jobs- this would give her so much advantage when applying for jobs in the future. Don't pass this up!

I speak from experience, with an almost 19yr old. Part time work at 16 will get her job interviews in the next few years - in favour of teens that have never held down a job. DD is currently in a team leader role due to working at 16, saving, building confidence and having experiences to actually use in interviews. Being able to hold a conversation etc, and drive anywhere has set her up to choose a job rather than just take anything going. Give her an allowance, and let her learn to budget.

Yes, I’d say most 16 year olds (and most grown ups) don’t relish having to work!

For many, it can be daunting at that age - which is why a part-time role, that is being offered on a plate in this case, is a great way to build confidence/improve chances of gaining other jobs/transition into full-time work in the future.

As another poster put it, we do no favours wrapping children and young adults in cotton wool!

No
But thanks for your help anyway

Yeah I do agree with you. But I just don't think forcing her to go to an employer she's unwilling to is going to be helpful.

I had a full time job at sixteen.

She been offered a good opportunity to earn over the summer and it’s something she can put on her CV. She’d be quite foolish to turn it down.

Simple. Stop paying for extras if she refuses to pull her finger out. No wonder people come into the work place after uni still needing their backsides wiped!

It took my 16yo 6 months to get a part time job, she's been doing it about six weeks, it's only zero hours and £8/HR, but she's delighted!

Her motivation was that prior to that she got given £10/month - yes per month- pocket money! It might seem stingy but frankly I can't afford more than that.

The good news is that her first month's wage of £50 seemed a fortune to her, her second month was £90. It's done wonders for her self esteem too.

Try to persuade her OP, it's all good experience!

I don’t think there’s anything wrong working from a young age

16 isn't all that young. Paper round at 13 and Saturday job at 14 used to be the norm.
I actually think a lot of young people would be better suited to going to work full time at 16 rather than staying in education until 18.

It's not only good to have work experience and money to spend, it's also good to start building up savings so that when they're in their 20s and wanting to move out, they've got some money towards it.