16 Year old daughter doesn’t want to work 😢😕

[HeatherBlack1990]

PLEASE lovely girls ! I need your input 🙏🤝🫂
16 year old daughter has just been offered A CHANCE to come & help out in a busy office to give her something to do in the long Summer months
I know the employers & they are lovely 👍💕
Daughter can’t really be bothered 😕 AND expects ME to book & pay for dance schools and basically fund EVERYTHING all Summer long & BEYOND
It’s not so much the money - it’s that she has very little motivation 😢😞
I had my first job at 11 & worked part-time all through A Levels
Jess shows NO such motivation
ANY / ALL comments gratefully received 🙏🤝💕
Even the negative ones !!!

Don’t fund anything. She can get a job or not do it.

I think at 16 she maybe needs a break between GCSE and A levels .A summer working in an office isnt that enticing TBH! I would let her have a break and regroup a bit .Shes got years to enter the beloved workforce !

I dont think there is anything sad about working at 11. Having a part time job teaches young adults many useful skills and helps them develop self assurance and independence.

When I was 14 I whinged to my parents that I had to refuse invitations because I had no clothes to wear. My father said "We buy you what you need for school. If you want fancy clothes do what your mates do and get a saterday job." I got a job in the local chip shop. It was 5 minutes from my parents house, and we got a fish and chip supper after every shift. I kept hold of the job on an off for several years even after I began full time work. Of course it was cash in hand and a nice little side hustle. It gave me something to talk about at my first interview. The fact that I could serve customers, handle money efficiently and deal with the cheery crowd from the pub.

I soon had an excellent wardrobe from my earnings.

If she’s just finishing her GCSE’s then I’d give her some time to just do nothing. It’s probably the last opportunity they’ll ever have to do that so I think she needs to take it if she can.
You need to compromise re the job. If she wants fancy stuff / activities then she should work towards them to a point. How are you managing financially? Is paying for her dance etc a struggle or OK?

All the recent stories in the media and the neets report say that young adults who have never had a job at all find it very hard to get their first job. The ai used to sift through CVs prioritise candidates with some experience of the workplace. Your daughter has the chance of a part time office role over the summer with someone who would give her a future reference, she should snap it up.

She's 16, presumably about to finish GCSEs? I don't know anyone who worked more than a fun, light job over that summer.

Paying for dance classes etc is every much just part of parenting, she's hardly a grown up.

Perhaps part time would be a decent compromise. My daughter the same age (16 in August) is desperate for a little job for the summer, and is looking in cafes etc.

I'm happy for her to, but I want her to have plenty of time to go to the beach, train for her sport, go to the gym etc, without having to juggle it all with her schoolwork as she usually has to. She's generally busy and motivated, so I'm not too fussed about a lazy summer

But you are her parent!! That’s your job!! She’s 16!

I was like you OP, I did lots of little jobs:- babysitting, shop work etc from aged around 14. I have always been very on the ball with money. My DDs were brought up to work as soon as they could (part time so no impact on education). They are both working full time now and own their own homes. I fully agree with your approach and think wrapping your children in cotton wool doesn’t do them any favours in the long term.

And I say this is someone who had a summer job from the age of 14. I would still expect if my daughter had a job at 14 or 16 that I am feeding her and I am paying for her sports and buying her clothing.

She’s 16, presumably this is the summer after her GCSEs. In a few months A levels will begin. Let her have her summer, she will have enough summers in the future where she’ll have to work full time.

When I was 16 I got a job after GCSEs and quit after 3 weeks. It doesn’t mean I don’t have a work ethic now. At that age, let them be kids - they don’t have many of these long summers left before the ‘real world’ starts.

So many young people find it hard to get jobs these days, I would be really encouraging her to take this. Would it be possible to do it for 4/6 weeks and have time off after?
It's hard if her friends aren't working, but better for her to have work experience, she'll have a much better chance of getting work later on - when she actually really needs to.

The employer may be 'lovely' but do they have the insurance to employ someone under 18? Will they abide by the laws surrounding employing someone under 18 ie legal entitlement to breaks and finish by set time? All very well if things go wrong but if there was an accident would they try to fob you off with 'but we were helping you out to get her work experience'. I started working at 16 in my parents shop so I have no issue with people working at 16 but even though it was family, all the laws, such as they were in 1981 were complied with.

I’m going to go against the grain here. I think when you get an opportunity like that you need to gradp
it. It’s opps like this that make you stand out when applying for jobs. Not so long ago people left school at 16 or 18 and started full time work, only a few went to uni and there was nothing wrong with this. That said I find youngsters very immature these days, having a little job and earning money for treats is part of growing up.

In your situation I would simply be saying that there’ll be no extra money for going out for coffee
with friends etc. If she wants that she hevevtobesrn it at home or by a summer job.

As someone who regularly interviews graduates for their first real job, those who have worked part time during school or university are much further up the learning curve than those who have never had to.

Communication, work ethic, understanding of a work environment, team work etc. It really shows.

I think everyone should do some Summer or weekend work at a minimium once they reach that age.

My DD1 is 17 & would jump at the chance, mainly because it's so difficult for teens to get part time work now, my DD's friends are all struggling to get a part-time job around college. So any office experience is useful & would set her apart when applying for other part time jobs in the future.

I'm in the get out & get some work experience camp. It's part time & the benefits are not just money but teaches responsibility, respect, speaking to adults, timekeeping, managing a workload, dealing with difficult customers/colleagues etc. We as parents & school cannot teach them that. I feel very strongly about getting young people out working & it does not matter what they do they should be doing something. I can't believe the amount of parents that do not encourage this.

The only reason my dd got a job at 16 was because I basically told her I was paying for essentials only.

Once she had been there a few months she had begun to appreciate having that extra money and she used the experience to get a better part time job that she enjoyed much more. Once she was older she said she was glad I’d made her take the first job (it was a friend of mine who was advertising for someone so it was handed to her on a plate).

She never had problems getting a p/t job at uni and I’m sure that was because she had so much experience between 16-18 - if your dd is thinking she doesn’t fancy a job now but can just walk into a job in the future with no experience she will be in for a rude awakening! She should take it, even if it’s only for a few weeks. At least it’s something to put on her cv.

I worked full time in a supermarket in my school holidays. This was because I had a Saturday job. Two evenings and a full day Saturday. Exams immaterial.

I wanted to do it because once I had the money it felt great.

You need to transition your daughter from teenager to adult. And hope by the time she is an adult she has changed her thinking a bit.

Totally agree. My son had a pub job from age 16, he didn't particularly like it but he was there 2 years (worked around A levels), he is now has an Apprenticeship in engineering & I am totally convinced his pub job helped him.

Unless you are on a construction site or factory or operating machinery etc there is no separate employer liability insurance needed. As long as she waits until after 26th June to start. OP said it is an office. She will need a break after 4 hours instead of 6 hours but in an office that will be no issue and no offie is going to be open before 6.00am or after 10.00pm.

Wait, you are saying we are babying kids and using child marriage as some kind of example as to how girls should be treated?

Totally agree with this. They stand out from those that do not.
Interacting with the public, having to work to instructions and turn up every day.

What is the situation in her peer group? Everyone my DC knew worked from at least sixth form and had fairly basic allowances from their parents (so they knew if they wanted more money they had to work for it). If working is not the norm, it's going to be harder to encourage it.

The wake up point for my DS was when he announced he wanted to go on holiday and I asked "how are you going to pay for that then?". He was out applying for part time jobs the next day.

Stop buying new clothes for her, and other nice things. Just cover essentials: household bills and food. She might then have a change of heart.

Sixteen is quite old enough for a part-time job. You could argue it’s the perfect age to take on a few hours a week.

I wanted to have a Saturday / holiday job at 16 as otherwise I had no money to go out with my friends, or buy nice makeup, fashionable clothes, cosmetics and basically anything other than supermarket shampoo my mum bought. My mum paid for me to be fed and basically clothed but at 16 anything fun I had to get myself. Does she have a social life and if so how does she fund it?