How do Mums cope with cleaning the house with two young children?! I feel so deflated and exhausted.

[Biosblbay]

So I am currently on maternity leave but I go back to work full time mid March and I am freaking out! I don’t even have time to get house work done being off work, let alone being at work!
I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old. My typical day is wake up which is usually 6:30am, get my 3 year old ready for school and do breakfast, feed baby, do lunch for my 3 year old, feed the dogs, then my husband takes him school at 8:30 before he starts work. By this time the kitchen is a mess, living room is a mess, beds to be made, bottles to wash, dishwasher to unload, laundry to be done, by the time I have done these basics my baby would have woken up from her first morning nap and she would then need a nappy change, entertaining and feeding and then keeping her upright for half hour to let her food go down, then she would be ready for another nap at around 1pm. During her second nap I get about an hour to do something which is usually doing my lunch which then results in a messy kitchen again, I then get about half hour after lunch to do something else before she wakes up, but there’s honestly 101 things to be done, this even includes deciding if I can have a shower and wash my hair!. Then I have to collect my son between 3 and 3:30, which then I have 2 children to feed, bath every other day, kitchen is a mess again after doing dinner, bedtime routine. My son goes to bed at 6:30/7pm most nights but my baby would have a late afternoon nap and then be up from about 6 until 9pm, so I don’t even get evenings to do much (my husband works long hours so doesn’t usually get home until 8pm on average and travels a lot for work too) so a lot of evenings I tend to do most of it myself including dinner for me and my husband. But come 9pm when both kids are asleep I am too exhausted to do anything!

HOW on earth do I find the time to clean the bathroom, polish, Hoover, mop floors (I have dogs so it gets dirty quick!), look after myself when I go back to work?! I just don’t understand how people do it. I hate the idea of using every weekend to clean the house and get on top of everything. That to me is family time and we do go out a lot on weekends with the kids or we see family, we always have plans.

I know I could get a cleaner but I couldn’t afford one every day, maybe only once every 2 weeks. I seem to just have the time to do the living room and kitchen and I don’t get time to do any of the other rooms. I am struggling for sure. I sometimes get so overwhelmed with the amount I need to do that I end up staring into space for about 15 minutes stressing about what to do first and where to start!

I would love to know how mums cope with cleaning, especially full time working mums, it baffles me and I feel stressed thinking about it. The closer I am getting to starting work the more stressed I am feeling

There is probably a really simple answer here and It probably doesn’t help that my house is currently a mess due to moving all the bedroom around and a lot of stuff still only half done, but I just feel that a little tidy house is a tidy mind and having a tidy and clean home really does make a huge difference but I just can’t seem to get on top of it ever!!!

would love some tips, ideas, to know other people might be going through the same, how to cope etc…. Hoping for mostly positivity and no nasty responses from people 🩷 thank you x

Well, given that they are so young still, unfortunately you don't.. Just let standards lower a bit for a while. Or get a cleaner or your DH to do some of it.

It’s hard work! Does baby have a bouncer or walker? My baby is about the same age and I put him in there for a stint or let him commando crawl about exploring while I empty the dishwasher, put washing up on, put clothes away etc.

I encourage my three year old to tidy up toys as we go, though it doesn’t always work. She also loves playing chase with her dad and he always says they can only do chase if all the toys are out the way. We also sing a tidy up song which she enjoys.

I try and empty the dishwasher as early as possible in the day so that then I can put dirty dishes in it as I go through the day instead of them piling up for later.

Oh also can you work from home at all? I’m on mat leave with my second at the mo too, but with my eldest when working I would have a couple of days a week at home and I would use my lunchtimes to hoover and clean bathrooms.

God almighty talk about nitpicking, its assumed she means the household surely?

If I say 'Im getting a new front door' I dont mean me, I mean the house, joint shared income.

Obviously OP might come back and say its all on her.

We are definitely not on top of things but one thing we are trying is to cook dinners that will cover us for two nights. Then you don’t spend so much time cooking and washing up every night. So things like lasagne, curry, tray bakes. There’s also a company called stocked who deliver blocks of frozen sauces eg ragu, curry, Mexican chicken. They’re quite nice and nutritious. You heat them up on the hob or microwave and serve with rice, pasta, flatbreads etc.

Also, your baby will drop the late nap soon and you’ll have some time in the evenings. Not that you want to spend all your free time cleaning!

You’d be surprised, a cleaner every two weeks takes a lot off your plate the caveat being the cleaner must be good. You may need to trial a few, I went with my third trial as the two previous ones were rubbish. House should literally sparkle, tiles mopped, high and low dusting etc with that done you just need to ensure you’re tidying as you go along.

I work full time (some from home) and the days were all out, the house is obviously so much tidier. It’s just get up, make beds, breakfast, then stuff in dishwasher and out the door.

I hoover every night (robot, so doesn’t count!) and mop before bed. We tidy up from dinner as we go, generally don’t put things down just put them away immediately (e.g laundry), and rather than having a scheduled day, just tidy/clean as we see things (so bathroom, while kids in bath, and then the bath once they’re out), wipe sides/skirting boards if I notice they’re looking like they need a wipe.

The biggest help though is regularly decluttering so there’s not excessive stuff and having a small house!

It’s a double whammy - it forces you to have a quick tidy and then hoovers!

For me, watching a cleaning vlog as I’m tidying up or about to clean really motivates me. Or a cleaning reel online. Once I’ve seen them it makes me want to start cleaning. I’m really good at not comparing though. I know my house isn’t going to look like an influencers house.

Firstly, drop standards.

Secondly - as soon as you use something, put it back afterwards!! I.e. tv remote goes back to where it was, shoes back into their cabinet, dishes into the dishwasher - not on the side.

Get a robot hoover.

Do laundry on select days, not everyday. Or agree to do laundry in the week and never at weekends.

Pop baby down and tidy the room you're in for 10 mins by picking stuff up and spraying/wiping surfaces.

Do a 'end of day' clean WITH your husband. If one of you does bedtime, the other tidies up. If you're both around and kids are down, take 15 mins and blitz downstairs together before chilling. Tomorrow's you will thank you for it.

Honestly lower your standards. No one needs to make a bed

It’s not life or death but I do find my mood linked to my house. It doesn’t need to be showhome status, but if it’s messy and cluttered and disorganised that’s reflected in my mental state.

Batch cook. I make a stew on Sunday which we eat on Monday and Tuesday too and freeze small portions for my toddler so I have lots of dinners for him. DH cooks Wednesdays and again, it's lasagna or something that stretches for at least another day. Lunch is something easy, a cold sandwich usually so no mess.

DH needs to pull his weight. Maternity leave is not cleaning leave. He needs to get up and do his bit.

The dogs are tricky, I assume that's why you have so much cleaning to do.

Same, I do understand but the children are only young for a few years and worrying about this side of things is a waste of time and mental space.

Lower standards, do kitchen once a day proper and load dishwasher as you go, don't bloody make beds, no one grows up and says they had a great childhood cos the beds were always made

I think it’s finding a balance! Like I say, mine definitely isn’t a show home but it’s kept to an ok standard (and I think the more you keep on top of it the easier and quicker it is). Luckily the beds only take about a minute each, so don’t phase me, but I hate laundry with an absolute passion 😅

No I don't assume that. There are plenty of posts on here by women whose husbands/partners let them/expect them to cover all household /child-related expenses and/or continuing to contribute 50% to rent/mortgage and bills even while on SMP that I would never assume that.

There must be some trade-off to him being able to only do so little at home.

I could have written this thread. I have a 9 mo old and a 3 yo and I go back in April and I am
feeling so stressed about it. I am struggling so much as it is as my baby barely naps and wakes 4/5 times a night and I’ve tried to sleep train her this week and it’s exhausting! We have a cleaner that comes every two weeks but it takes about 2 days for it to get to same state as before it was cleaned again! I am running on empty and beyond exhausted and just reminding myself that it’s a phase of life.

I could have written this myself. I have a nearly 4 y/o and a 7 month old. I’m not sure what looks worse at times, the house or me!
Often think how much I took for granted living alone and doing a big clean once a week 🤣