How do Mums cope with cleaning the house with two young children?! I feel so deflated and exhausted.

[Biosblbay]

So I am currently on maternity leave but I go back to work full time mid March and I am freaking out! I don’t even have time to get house work done being off work, let alone being at work!
I have a 3 year old and a 7 month old. My typical day is wake up which is usually 6:30am, get my 3 year old ready for school and do breakfast, feed baby, do lunch for my 3 year old, feed the dogs, then my husband takes him school at 8:30 before he starts work. By this time the kitchen is a mess, living room is a mess, beds to be made, bottles to wash, dishwasher to unload, laundry to be done, by the time I have done these basics my baby would have woken up from her first morning nap and she would then need a nappy change, entertaining and feeding and then keeping her upright for half hour to let her food go down, then she would be ready for another nap at around 1pm. During her second nap I get about an hour to do something which is usually doing my lunch which then results in a messy kitchen again, I then get about half hour after lunch to do something else before she wakes up, but there’s honestly 101 things to be done, this even includes deciding if I can have a shower and wash my hair!. Then I have to collect my son between 3 and 3:30, which then I have 2 children to feed, bath every other day, kitchen is a mess again after doing dinner, bedtime routine. My son goes to bed at 6:30/7pm most nights but my baby would have a late afternoon nap and then be up from about 6 until 9pm, so I don’t even get evenings to do much (my husband works long hours so doesn’t usually get home until 8pm on average and travels a lot for work too) so a lot of evenings I tend to do most of it myself including dinner for me and my husband. But come 9pm when both kids are asleep I am too exhausted to do anything!

HOW on earth do I find the time to clean the bathroom, polish, Hoover, mop floors (I have dogs so it gets dirty quick!), look after myself when I go back to work?! I just don’t understand how people do it. I hate the idea of using every weekend to clean the house and get on top of everything. That to me is family time and we do go out a lot on weekends with the kids or we see family, we always have plans.

I know I could get a cleaner but I couldn’t afford one every day, maybe only once every 2 weeks. I seem to just have the time to do the living room and kitchen and I don’t get time to do any of the other rooms. I am struggling for sure. I sometimes get so overwhelmed with the amount I need to do that I end up staring into space for about 15 minutes stressing about what to do first and where to start!

I would love to know how mums cope with cleaning, especially full time working mums, it baffles me and I feel stressed thinking about it. The closer I am getting to starting work the more stressed I am feeling

There is probably a really simple answer here and It probably doesn’t help that my house is currently a mess due to moving all the bedroom around and a lot of stuff still only half done, but I just feel that a little tidy house is a tidy mind and having a tidy and clean home really does make a huge difference but I just can’t seem to get on top of it ever!!!

would love some tips, ideas, to know other people might be going through the same, how to cope etc…. Hoping for mostly positivity and no nasty responses from people 🩷 thank you x

Yes I think the stick hoovers are a good idea, but Im my own worst enemy because I dont want it 'on show'!!! So my hoovers are out of sight, one is in the utility room downstairs and the other is under the spare bed upstairs (I dont do lugging hoovers upstairs)

I wont have anything other than a Miele either, vintage for the proper power too.

Get one of those robot hoovers and set it work whilst you are out!

When you go back to work, use your lunchtimes, if it is possible, to do the deeper clean. I stick on loud music or a podcast I like when everyone is out and power through. As for the stuff that builds up over the day, you need to do it when the kids have gone to bed. You and DH should be sharing that

some practical tips from a mum on maternity leave and a 3 year old:

• don’t hoover, don’t deep clean anything daily including bathroom or kitchen and get a cleaner to do those jobs weekly or fortnightly
• create two lists of morning jobs and evening jobs.
• morning Jobs are things like make beds, unload dishwasher, load steriliser, feed animals, do a quick tidy of upstairs as you come down for the morning (water bottles etc), put one load of washing a day. This should take about 30 minutes. Don’t wait until baby is asleep, do it quickly while they are awake
• evening jobs, put on dishwasher, tidy from tea, hang up washing to dry or tumble drier (but ideally when it finishes in the day), a QUICK tidy (throw all toys in one basket).
• when making tea, I put my baby in a high chair and give a snack.
• always have a nappy bag ready to go. Refill it when you come back home.

you could spend all day moving things and tidying up. Give yourself a set time to do it and it’s ok if the baby is watching you do it.

changes like this take weeks of very small increments to get a household that runs smoothly.

I don't really cope. I work part time but have commuting time and work outside contact hours. Kids at two different schools - 3 and 6. We don't really clean the house. We load and empty the dishwasher, cook and tidy up the kitchen, buy and put away food, put washing machine on, hang out and put away clothes, try to constantly keep on top of tidying up kids' toys, change beds, take bins out, sweep floors, hoover twice a week max, mop once a week max. Kitchen and bathrooms are not as clean as they should be. I just don't find it possible to keep the house in better shape, it takes a lot of work to keep it as messy as it currently is 😅 I think probably if someone could look after the kids for a weekend we could give everything a good blitz and then perhaps have a better chance at maintaining it but we're just keeping ours head above water as it is. I would say that less mess is generated when the kids are at nursery/school as opposed to home all day so it won't be quite so much of a struggle as it is now. And your DC are really small and very dependent still and there are extra jobs that go with that like nappies and bottles which don't last for ever. I wish you the best of luck and try not to be too hard on yourself, it's not possible to put 100% into every area of life so you have to choose what to prioritize, and this fluctuates with time.

What a lovely lunchtime that would be.

Unfollow Mrs Hinch, it sounds like she's making you feel shit about yourself.

The Organised Mum Method (TOMM) on instagram and facebook might be more helpful for you - the method is a half hour focus each day and the basics. It sounds like you're doing a lot and this might help you feel like you've got a bit of control. The focus isn't on products either. It's not for me as I need to do too much decluttering before I can even get to that stage. It makes me feel shit when I go to a clean and tidy house and the person apologises for the mess - what mess?

Have a shower or bath before you go to bed so you can just get up and get dressed in the morning.

Eat the same lunch as your baby at the same time. Soup and bread, scrambled eggs on toast etc. Then you only have to clean up at the end of the shared meal and she can be sat upright in a high chair next to you or upright in a baby carrier on you while you wash up. It's also good for her development for to see you eating and for meal times to be a shared social moment.

I personally find it motivating to tick stuff off my to do list and keep a clean home, but everyone's different!

@balletflatblister how long a lunch break do you think she’ll have?! Most people only get half hour which is just long really to make food and eat it, go to loo etc

My cleaner does the big stuff like scrubbing bathroom and polishing and hoovering apart from the kitchen which gets done almost daily. Playroom gets tidied up with the kids as they're finishing up playing for the day, I do a quick tidy after dinner and put the dishwasher on. My kids, 1 and 3, are slow eaters and I tidy the kitchen in the morning, unload the dishwasher and have a quick zoom round with the dyson cordless as they are eating, I have my breakfast in peace at work. Bedroom I don't really tidy other than throwing the duvet up though I might do a quick 15 mins while my husband supervises them in the house. I try and do a couple of hours on a saturday or sunday when my husband is taking care of them. It's almost impossible until the little one is 1, and now my youngest is about to turn 2, they run off and play a lot and it's much easier. I sometimes shower while the kids are in the bath, same room so I can see them, or before they get up in the morning but taking care of myself has taken a massive backseat. You'll find that when all 4 of you are out the house and you're back at work there won't be quite as much endless mess.

Depends on your job and size of your house I guess, I'm just sharing what I do. A couple of lunch times a week, so 2 hours, is long enough to pee, make a sandwich and eat it, keep on top of laundry and get some cleaning done. Chill out

And keep most toys out of reach. I recently put all the toys in shelves that the kids can't reach and they ask for a thing e.g. one jigsaw, or I put a few things out and I find they contentrate and play so much better not in a sea of toys on the floor and it's much easier to tidy. They can get something else but the last one then has to be put away.

Wow have I just gone back in time to the 1950s on this thread? Jeez. I’m old now and my DC are adults but me and my DH have always shared the load. Why wouldn't you? We still had pink and blue jobs but I never felt overwhelmed - it was teamwork. I’m amazed young mums are still, in 2026, assuming the mantle of domestic martyrdom and then wondering why they can’t cope.

I'm an upright person, and very upright about how my house looks/is organised.
I also have 4 DC and I've learnt to just let it go, clean all toys once at the end of the day. I have set boxes for toys so they always go back in the same place, they don't get pulled out looking for some other favourites of the day toy, the kids know where to put them back and actually made me realise we had far too many toys!
I also do not iron, except maybe 2/3 times a year for a smart occasion.
My DP does a lot too, he'll fold all washing into individual piles so it doesn't need resorting (I admittedly forget to do this so have to split it all back out again!)
Drawers/IKEA boxes for the kids clothes, just drop it in.
I do not really bother pairing socks, if they happen to match in the pile I'm doing, great. Otherwise they get put away alone.
A big one I find helpful is I clean most the bathroom whilst I bath our youngest - obviously you can't do this with baby yet but if you do them separately you can with the 3 year old. The bath/tiles I clean when I go in the shower with a brush and a bit of shower gel (cleans grout better than anything else I've used!)
I shower in the evenings, as soon as bedtimes are done. If I sit down it's game over so I just keep going til my to-do is done.
Pack any lunches you can in the evening.
My DP has a very manual job but does a lot of the cooking even if it's just for us later in the evening, and will clean the kitchen and hoover downstairs whilst I do bedtimes.
I do one load of washing per day, so it doesn't build up and it's only manageable because we have a tumble dryer.
It's a constant cycle though I'm afraid but does ease as the kids get older!

We have two small kids and we now have a cleaner every 2 weeks. Feels AMAZING when the whole house is clean/tidy at once (for two hours, until everyone comes home)!

I try to keep mess down throughout the day so that it never piles up because like you I get overwhelmed and don’t know where to start if it gets bad.
When I cook, I clean up the dishes/mess before I sit down to eat then it’s only plate/fork to do when I’m done. If I leave pots etc, I’d not have the motivation to do it after eating.
OH puts a wash on before he goes to work at 5am, I put it out to dry when I get up and put yesterdays folded washing away. He also sends the robot hoover out before I’m up. This makes a massive difference as downstairs is hoovered every day…carpets upstairs only actually need done once because dirt isn’t getting trailed up.
Actual cleaning gets done at the weekend. I do downstairs, he cleans upstairs and we take turns doing a proper hoover of the whole house. It takes us about 1-1.5hr each and whilst one is cleaning, the other has some time playing with DC.
I only iron things that absolutely need it during nap time once a week.
The house is never PERFECT but it’s always clean and tidy enough that I wouldn’t be embarrassed for anyone to pop in unexpectedly.

Doesnt your dinner go cold if you clean up before eating?

Have a very simple morning routine. Make your bed as soon as you leave it. Make DCs beds as soon as yo get them up. Duvets take seconds to straighten. Put on a washload (not too full) as soon as you get up with DC. Use a short cycle - mixed load cycles clean most things. Give toddler a toy to play with while you unload dishwasher and make tea or coffee and feed dogs. Once husband and toddler are out of the house, hang up the laundry or put it in the dryer.

Try to keep food prep mess to an absolute minimum. Breakfast should be super simple: just cereal or toast or fruit and yoghurt for everyone, and encourage DC and certainly DH to put bowls, plates, cups into dishwasher immediately after use. Save bigger breakfasts for weekends.

Don't make mess when you make your own lunch. Have reheated left overs and eat them from the tupperware. Or have fruit and a simple sandwich. Or tinned soup, heated in a bowl in microwave.

Same with dinner - one pot meals: tray bakes of chicken or salmon or sausages with chunky veg, baby potatoes, or a pasta with everything stirred in. Risotto/paella/kedgeree. Japanese-style noodle and veg soups with chicken or pork. Or healthy ready meals. There'll be time for more adventurous food when both DC are at school.

In the evening, do a quick bathroom clean while toddler is bathing - doesn;t have to be all same day. One day polish mirror, taps and basin, another day do the loo, another day the floor and change the mats and towels.

Before toddler gets ready for bed, set a timer for 5 minutes, or put on a play song and have a tody up routine. they put away their toys for 5 mins, you put away grown up things. Then quick hoover or sweep if need be.

Have no shoes in house policy for everyone. It keeps floors far cleaner. Not sure how that works with dogs though.

It doesn;t have to be perfect. I worked out some 2 minute, 5 minute and 10 minute routines when DC were small and have used them ever since. the house is rarely chaotic now.

Stop looking at crazy people like Mrs Hinch… that’s not a reasoniable comparison!

I usually find it too hot to eat straight away anyway. 5mins washing the dishes and wipe the worktops down and it’s just about perfect to eat.
Dishes drip dry while I’m eating and then need much less drying before getting put away.

Why is it you who needs to afford the cleaner?

even when he is home he has to work. He is commission based so the more he works, the more money he gets.

Another thread by a woman asking how she is supposed to do a full time job on top of her paid job, while writing off her husband's need to contribute with "he works late" and" even when he is home he has to work" 🫩

They are great but you need to make sure all toys are tidied up or they get stuck.

Maybe see if you can WFH

Plus - if you stick on the dishwasher after dinner your husband can unload it in the evening. Then it's ready for breakfast stuff. Ditto laundry - he can hang it up when he gets in, then it will be mostly drying overnight.