How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

Do they shower every day? Change clothes and underwear frequently?
driclor deodorant is good
also when washing use an anti back soap to clean and then a shower gel
tackle it sensitively but if you as a mom can’t tell them, much (crueller) peers will

What do they use to wash with? Shower gel or a bar of soap?

If it's shower gel, replace it with proper soap.

Also, what are their clothes being washed in and at what temperature?

get anti bac soap

They shower at least twice a day. They don't repeat the same clothes.

Dettol laundry stuff in the wash and as hot as fabric allows
Get rid of any polyester based clothing
Use soap not shower gel
Perspi-Guard spray is a game changer - use a couple a times a week at night onto clean dry underarms, then wash off in the morning. They do a day deodorant as well which smells good and seems to stop any odour.

They use either bar or liquid soap for the body.

I hope it doesn't sound bad to say that I'm not the one who washes clothes. We have a maid. But the clothes themselves comes out smelling clean and fresh.

The soap or shower gel question that a previous poster has already flagged is relevant here. A quick slosh of a bit of shower gel won’t be cutting it.

Edited: I don't think you need to talk to them about their smell - speak to them about their hygiene routine instead.

So if you expect them to shower every morning, put on clean clothes and an antiperspirant thst you choose then tell them that.

I agree with anti-bac soap. We have dettol soap (I use after normal soap).

I like the Dove deodorants that cost £5. They work well for me.

If smell is getting stuck in their clothes you could try an antibacterial laundry cleanser added to the wash.

Is it deodorant they're using or anti perspirant?

Deodorant-Deodorant.

Also perfume.

Deodorant only really masks any smell. I buy my teens deodorant body sprays but also anti perspirant and a casual, breezy reminder that the weather is getting warmer so don't forget your hygiene.

Does anyone other than you think they smell strongly? Given that they shower twice a day and they have regular clean clothes I suspect you are projecting your worries onto them and they may smell just fine. We often smell our dc's smell more acutely than others, it may be nature's way of communicating to us that they are now becoming adults rather than children.

It can't be healthy to wear deodorant of any kind in bed.

Not sure I you are in the UK OP

I recommend this antiperspirant.

They need antiperspirant - no wonder you all smell if you only use deodorant. You all need to find an antiperspirant that works - Mitcham is supposed to be good and available over the counter. If you all need something stronger then prescription antiperspirants are available.

To be blunt you should have been tackling this since it became an issue for them.

Try cutting out dairy

My husband smells it but he is more scared to talk to them about it than I am.

If they shower twice a day it would indicate they are fully aware they smell

what is their diet like?

https://amzn.eu/d/aPAjKaU

Get them both this.
Absolute game changer.

Mitcham is simply on the shelf.

not over the counter

Get them some anti perspirant!

Deodorant won't work - as you've discovered

But you need a solution rather than a chat.

If they are showering twice each day already, using the hygiene products that you provide and putting on clean clothes that you provide what exactly do you expect them to do? How is telling them they smell going to help without giving them the solution?

Given you are the same I would present it as a family thing. I'm really sorry you take after me and may want to try..... whatever it is that works for you. I found Mitchum deodorant helpful and also DriChlor but that might be too harsh on young skin.

My mum had to say the same to me as a teenager. Awkward conversation but I was actually really grateful. Got my first boyfriend soon after 😂

They need to use anti perspirant + deodorant.

Deodorant on its own is absolutely useless.

And stop with the perfume.

Their bedding needs to be washed frequently as well as their clothes.

Antibac with the clothes wash. My cycling gear comes out of the wash smelling fine but when I’m wearing it, it starts to smell sour about 30 mins in - think it’s the heat. I use a sports wash.