How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

If the sweating still persists are correct washing and anti perspirant I recommend Driclor. It cleared mine up. You can also buy this in boots now. It used to be on prescription only.

Get them to use this - it’s a game changer:
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/263697428

It's better that you have a chat with them than their school friends saying something hurtful. Keep it light hearted and helpful - maybe relate it to hormonal changes in puberty as a possible cause and offer solutions in the form of 2 or 3 different antiperspirants which they can try. It's like acne, greasy hair, period pains etc some suffer worse than others & you have to find what works best for them individually. It also helps them if you suggest trying different things until you find the right answer between you.

In difficult situations I switch things round in my head eg. if I was the sweaty person & someone had to tell me about it, what would be the kindest way to tell me so as not to make me feel bad.

Good strong soap (absolutely not Dove - I swear by Shield), antiperspirant (Mitchum is good) and clean clothes means you won't smell. Bacteria creates smell not sweat. Sweat doesn't smell of anything unless there is bacteria present. If they are showering twice a day and still smell they are not washing with the right soap and in the right places!

No-one has mentioned this, Triple Dry. This was an absolute game changer for me. You can buy it off the shelf.
https://amzn.eu/d/6b0UMNS
I’ve used it about 20 years.

What’s the problem in telling them if they smell? In our family we are quite direct and say it lovingly/in jest. No offence taken by anyone.
preteen says they all stink at school but no one says anything 😂

Stop with the bad advice

If you can't dry the clothes outside, use your tumble dryer.

I had this issue as a teen. Just really sweaty & had to wash/change clothes 2x a day & would still be smelly. My DD was also a bit smelly as a young teen. Now as an adult I swear by the mitchum get deodorant, was life changing. Don't even smell the day after either now!

Also the green minty body wash by original source. Best combo

Pot calling kettle

I was prescribed driclor as a teen. I wasnt smelly but had embarrassingly wet armpits. It did nothing for me and destroyed my skin, almost like burns. I wish my mum had talked more to me because I doubt she knew how much pain I was in. As an adult I got into sport and Mitchum is gentle but works really well for me (although I'm not particularly sweaty now!).

Clothes which smell fresh can harbour sweaty smell that seems to reactivate very quickly (I’m obviously not sure about the science of what is going on here but harbouring and reactivating describe the situation!) I disk my gym kit periodically in hotter water and bio washing stuff which solved the problem. If you are washing at low temps with non-bio it won’t kill the bacteria.

They need anti perspirant- deodorant doesn’t do anything. Don’t listen to a previous poster about the need for hair removal as underarm hair is specifically there to help with temperature control and sweat. In terms of speaking with them I think it’s more traumatising not to be told. It’s mortifying to not know something so important that everyone else knows, and it’s a mum’s job to tell them. They may not thank you and may be grumpy with you but in the long run you they will appreciate it.