How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

This doesn't need to be a big deal. Buy them an antiperspirant, give it to them, say I heard this was meant to be good so I thought we'd give it a try. The end.

Perspirex is a nuclear option you can stand the few hours of itching.

Aren’t deodorants and anti-perspirants the same? Perfumed sprays like impulse is a body spray but I always thought the other two were the same thing?

I just googled out of curiosity and it appears I’ve they aren’t the same. Here’s me calling Sure a deodorant for forever

Learn something new every day on here 😆

Honestly not sure why people are still going in circles trying to find solutions when OP has already given the solution.

She notes they are a sweaty family and they are NOT using anti-perspirant. Sweat smells. There's your answer. You all need to be using anti-perspirant to reduce sweating. Just spraying a deodorant (clues in the name - literally just for odour) instead of trying to prevent it to the point it's caused this much hand-wringing is bonkers. Doesn't matter how clean you or your clothes are if you're a heavy sweater and doing nothing to prevent it.

Bingo - this is the exact problem. Deodorant doesn't help with sweating at all and sweat smells!

Sure is a combo anti-perspirant AND deodorant which means it helps reduce sweating and also helps mask any odour that does show up by deodorising. I am not at all a sweaty person and can't imagine ONLY using deodorant in any kind of warm weather or out and about.

I find that when I'm stressed and dehydrated, my body odor is much worse. Maybe you need to drink more water and try to reduce stressors? Antiperspirants (not just deodorants) can help too, if you have hyperhydrosis

I'm quite lucky, in that i have boys who aren't particularly sensitive and we are very open and don't project shame on to perfectly normal bodily functions etc. When they started showering independently I would just say "don't forget to give your pits and your bits, 2 good washes" to get them into good habits - and now they are older teens "buddy get in the shower and get your antiperspirant on, you smell like corned beef!" They genuinely never bat an eyelid!

Make sure they are also washing under their breasts and in the groin area with the anti bac soap.

We are the same. We don't invite shame and I will openly say to my DCs the same things as you.

OP I smelt as a teen and it breaks my heart looking back that I couldn't talk to anyone about it and I was acutely aware. I remember being out one night and a boy in the year above in 6th form told me I "smell like shit". Everyone must have talked about me. It eventually went away, I have never done anything differently hygeine wise. I think back then things were not talked about like they are now (late 90s early 2000s). Not in my family anyway.

Some great suggestions on this thread (which I wish I had known back then).

What is the clothing they are wearing made of?
If they are having to wear polyester shirts and blazers all day (basically plastic) this will make sweating so much worse.

What is their diet like?

You need to bin any polyester clothing that has been well worn. Even if smells clean when washed , the body heat will reactivate the smell.
scrub armpits with a flannel and bar soap twice daily. Good antiperspirant like Mitchum cream.
Change bedding at least once a week.
Hair wash every other day.

I sweated a lot from about 8 onwards. My mum didn’t need to tell me I was sweaty/smelly, she just made sure I had antiperspirant that worked.

I just tell my teen he smells and what he needs to do to resolve the smell. We have a loving positive relationship but I’ve always been very matter of fact about hygiene. However I only ever briefly say something about how he smells in that moment, I wouldn’t consider sitting him down and having a big discussion about BO.

Yes to this.

recently changed my deodorant to this & it works wonders!

I don't think you need to beat around the bush or make it a big thing. Acting like it's a big deal or something delicate is more likely to cause shame than just simply telling them "you need more deodorant".

Teenagers smell, it's normal. If you don't tell them as their mum, no one else is likely to.

Just tell them to use more and maybe carry a little one with them through the day. Loads of people do. Don't make it a thing.

I used to buy Perspirex (£10? in Tesco) roll-on for teenage DC1. Apply overnight three times and wash off in the morning. Then once every three days. No more changing room smells!
Sweaty polyester can ruin a whole load and the smell comes out again with body heat. Treat it with vodka on a cotton wool pad and wash as normal. Or chuck and replace with natural fibers.
People with undiagnosed lactose intolerance can really smell bad. Like bad meat. Maybe investigate that with your doctor.

Link to Perspirex. amazon

Deodorant means it de-odorises what's there.
Antiperspirant stops sweat.
@LosAngelesMom they need Antiperspirant

Yes, I’m the same with stress. I sweat when I’m warm or exercising, but not excessively and it never smells, certainly not like BO, however….
If I’m in a stressful situation like at work and say the big boss wants to watch everyone to see how to do something, when I get home there is a different smell and it’s more like BO which is so odd.

I think a lot of people say deodorant when they mean antiperspirant.

I say to my DC 'make sure you put your deodorant on' - I'm referring to their Mitchum roll on.

Drink lemon water to flush everything ojt
rub lemon and bicarbonate soda on pits on evenings
driclor
deodorant
clean cotton clothes daily
no processed food

I second this, particularly cheese.

Adam Richman on Man Versus Food used to talk about the Cheese Sweats and they are definitely a thing.

Besides the usual hygiene stuff which is sounds like you’ve got covered, what’s diet like it?

A less processed diet with healthy food choices does usually help as the body has less toxins to eliminate.

Before you go dousing your children in aluminium laden antiperspirant and carcinogenic synthetic fragrances, check out the the likely culprit - the clothes washing.

its very possible the maid is doing everything on a cold/delicate wash to be safe. But this doesn’t get the sweat out. The clothes smell fine just out of the wash but only reveal the ingrained smell once they heat up on the body again.

take charge yourself and wash everything at 40 degrees. See if that solves it.