How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

Encourage them both to shower daily and to swap antiperspirant brands every few weeks - I find that my body gets used to one particular brand and it isn’t effective so I do just that…….have three different brands available and rotate the usage every couple of weeks. Works for me.

This may be a bit of a curveball on Mumsnet but: try acupuncture. Traditional Chinese Medicine believes that toxins leaving the body cause smelly sweat. There could be an underlying issue with toxins if they smell all the time, because I don't think most teens need to shower "at least twice" per day. If the smell is real, and not a projection as others have said, that could really help. Or - and this is a joke! - move to France. Where I now live and honestly, people go around with much more of their "natural" smell (not everyone by any means, but enough of a proportion of people for it to be "normal" here).

They need to use antiperspirant, preferably the sure max strength or the dove or kitchen max strength. They need antiperspirant below and between their breasts too.

Shower every day, clothes washed using the Dettol in wash cleanser, make sure they wear natural fabrics such as 100% cotton blouses, a bit of fairy liquid in the armpits before washing will help stop them from going yellow with their antiperspirants.

Benzoyl peroxide face wash under the arms 2 minutes a day wash off, really helps

Dont know how to talk about it, you seem not to have got over your own teenage issues with the smell. Can you talk to a therapist?

Re the smell I would say dont wear polyester clothing, do laundry at 40 degrees and use proper bar soap on armpits. (Shower gel on whole body is not necessary, its not good for the skin).

I have had huge success with the Ordinary glycolic acid as a deodorant, for myself and my stinky teenage son. Since he started using it he is rarely smelly and his clothes also dont smell like the used to. Splash some on pits every morning. It kills the bacteria that create the smell. Enormously effective.

You want the proper deodorant from the chemists.

This stuff https://www.boots.com/driclor-solution-roll-on-applicator-10050231?traffic=paid.shopping&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21759351799&gbraid=0AAAAA-AdmwRj1lne8ErsphBzzkjCNCgOK&gclid=Cj0KCQjwt8zABhDKARIsAHXuD7Y5-MU7JFnOVv5G_83NYnNb1a_EdeW7k_HpCa6h2-n-FQdgfHEgPzgaAs47EALw_wcB

Make a light hearted joke, and if this doesn't work, be blunt.

They are your kids for god’s sake - just tell them they smell. Then go in with all the advice.

Mitchum roll on is the only one that works for me. If doing something particularly energetic I’ll use the roll on and top up with the spray.

An extra rub of soap or shaving gel under the pits when starting to get a smell works wonders, also baby talc. Xxx

This is how I did it with mine. I think it’s all been covered- good body wash in the shower, dry, wipe over with anything alcohol based (eg distilled witch hazel) and a proper anti perspirant, Perspirex at night if they want. Better you have an uncomfortable conversation than the kids at school pick it up.

Encourage them to take body spray to school for using at break times in the bathroom, also try scent boosters in the washing to help minimise smell on clothes.

Have you not spoken to them about
puberty at all?!?!?!?! This baffles me. My teen boy, I said remember we talked about the hormones of puberty, the smelly part has kicked in. Here’s some anti perspirant, use it at least once a day and make sure you’re really scrubbing under there in the shower. It does get better but unfortunately for the foreseeable you need to be really hot on the hygiene. He went yeah ok thanks mum. I keep him in good supply of Mitchum and good soap and he does ok. He does sometimes stil smell after exercise or in hot weather.
i think it’s a bit disgusting tbh that she’s 16 and you haven’t proactively helped her before now, and are seemingly too embarrassed to help her. You should have had this discussion years ago about how it’s not her it’s hormones and it’s part of puberty, and how to help it.

I'd suggest, as others have, an antibacterial soap/shower gel. Are they using clean towels, i.e., hanging towels to dry properly so they don't smell musty and dank therefore essentially canceling out the reasonthey showered. I moved to an area where starting in April temperatures start rising and it's 70°+ (F), and up to 90° (32C) - 100°+ by July through October. I found Dove antibacterial body wash for my body, and Monistat for the vaginal area works very well. I also suggest Lume deodorant products. I don't smell anymore even after my walk when it's very warm out, and I do shower after excercise. Lume also greatly reduces and/or eliminates the smells that come with daily moving/excercises. It's a part of the hormonal journey of being a women. Plain and simple.

bar of soap and instead of deodorant they need anti-perspirant. Vichy 48 or 72hr roll-ons work 100%.

Use Mitchum roll on, so much more effective.

I know someone who had this issue and they got a special deodorant from the doctors, I would 100% have a chat with her she should be able to smell herself she might just think there's nothing else she can do about it.

Consider some opposites: showering twice a day might be too often, removing too much oil from the skin and stimulating even more sweat. Washing less might help. Adding a moisturiser / emollient after showering might be good for their skin if they want to keep showering twice a day or use an emollient as a soap substitute for one of the showers.

Shaving / not shaving armpits: try the opposite of what they usually do. (IME shaving makes me smell more, YMMV)

Look at the fabrics they're wearing - for the summer natural fibres (cotton, linen) are good as are specialist moisture wicking fabrics. Choice of fabric is especially important for exercise (and normalise being sweaty / smelly after exercising and needing a shower then)

Aluminium based anti persprirants can irritate the skin - don't apply to wet or just shaved skin. But they are worth trying. My current one is Triple Dry, not sure if it's aluminium based. You can use anti persprirants, deodorants and perfumes simultaneously.

Consider the temperature at home - is it warm / cool / a big contrast from elsewhere? Big contrasts in temperature make me smell.

Try Akt deodorant

I think that you just have to be upfront with them to be honest - blame it on your genetics to soften the blow!

DD is a really heavy sweater (to the point that she had armpit Botox last summer to lessen things). Driclor has been such a massive help, I’d really recommend it. For years she used the extra strength Mitchum stick deodorants but these actually turned out to be making her worse - switched to the Dove Advanced spray which works far better. Make sure they’re washing with proper bar soap, not just shower gel

Are they washing properly or just quickly applying shower gel and rinsing. They need to be thoroughly washing undrarms with a sponge, cloth, scrunchie etc

One deodorant that may help is Driclor.... used a few times a week....
Really helped my teen son (he dances etc so needs to snell fresh after school etc)

Why would anyone just wear deodorant anyway?

Is there a reason for this OP?

I would definitely be telling them before someone else does.
they may not be spending enough time actually cleaning their armpits. I’ve had BO before after a shower and can only assume I’ve haven’t cleaned their thoroughly. So now I give my armpit a good scrub under the shower. There are some 36 hour deodorants that are brilliant.