How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

Also recommend this.
Best used sparingly after having a good wash with an ordinary soap such as "Shield" as it's quite drying.

Can I also second the suggestion of Dettol laundry sanitiser in the wash. It worked like magic on my teenage sons particularly skanky clothes.

If you're in LA (as your name suggests) or the US, you could start off with Old Spice (yes, men's) solid anti perspirant / deodorant. It comes in various nice scents that are not masculine.

You could try Clinical Strength anti perspirant / deodorant (various brands) if the Old Spice isn't cutting it.

Bar soap and a clean flannel to actually scrub underarms every shower
Hair removal is important to allow and antiperspirant to work well
Antiperspirant is what they need and ones like Mitchum or Sure 72 hour are more effective

Mitchum roll on, mitchum roll on, mitchum roll on!

It has saved my sanity re smelly teen/pre teen. A boy and a girl. They use it daily after their bath/shower.

They no longer smell!

LIFE. CHANGING.

Sounds like your 16 year old needs to
use antiperspirant rather than deodorant. I’ve gone through periods of sweating in situations like work etc, and after trying many antiperspirants, Mitchum has been the most effective for me.
Wash daily thoroughly under arms etc. Sniff test clothes underarms before wearing because I’ve found that sometimes even with freshly washed clothes the smell can become ingrained and start to come out after a couple of hours of wearing the item. Tight fitting / synthetic clothes are the worst.

The only thing I've found works all day is (weirdly) using face wash to wash my armpits. Just whatever brand, doesn't seem to matter - any anti-acne face wash stuff works.

Confused about deodorant not being enough.....it is for me.

Some of my more smelly neurodiverse children just get a straight up "Your armpits smell" it's accompanied by solutions. It isn't treated as shameful, its matter of fact

I agree with the Mitchum comments, it's the only antiperspirant that has ever been effective for me.
I would also say, if they are wearing bras it's worth giving them a good wash - I've noticed mine can get a bit sweaty in the hotter weather, I normally give them a soak in white vinegar and bicarb and then leave them to air dry.

And you weren't traumatized by the discussion ?

I have two stinky teens (well, one teen and a tween)

I use Dettol laundry detergent instead of fabric softener. Sometimes polyester clothes (like school uniform) can start to smell of 'old' sweat when they get warm. The dettol stops this from happening.

All clothes washed at 40 or 60 degrees with biological powder detergent.

Shower every day using bar soap under the arms.

Use antiperspirant every day.

Not sure what your DCs' school uniform is like, but I find the black polyester blazers really trap the smell and make it worse. I have to wash DCs' blazers every evening in hot weather.

I have noticed that their friends all smell too, so I think a lot of kids have this problem. I have 4 DC in the car on the way home from sports practice and the smell can be 😷

You don’t need to have a discussion. They know. You’re their parent - they need you to provide a solution, which you appear to have failed at doing. They don’t need you to remind them they have BO.

Double up on deodarent - stick followed by spray. Mens spray better than womens

I was the same. It didn't matter if I showered each morning and wore a fresh shirt. In hit weather I woukd perspire immediately onto shirt.

I'm now 50. Driclor is a lifesaver. Been using it for 20 years. Wish I'd had it as a teen. Gwt it for your girls and spare them the horrors and embarrassment of sweaty pits

I'm really matter of fact about telling DD and DH if they smell. They don't seem to mind 😂

With DD it's always in the context of trying to find a solution. Mitchum deodorant has helped. And I agree with other comments about synthetic uniform shirts often being part of the problem. Vinegar, bicarbonate of soda, Dettol, hot wash etc.

I agree they need anti persperant.

Also what are there clothes made of. If I wear anything polyester I stink and the smell doesn’t come out in the wash.

I echo PPs that they need to be using antiperspirant- deodorant doesn’t stop you sweating, just masks the smell

I don't understand why you think the discussion needs to be such a big deal?
You don't need to publicly shout 'cor blimey, you're a bit whiffy!'

We had this with teenage boys and I just bought some recommended anti-perspirants, left them in their bedrooms and then casually told them 'I've left some products for you to try, 'cos I don't know whether you're finding this, but this weather really makes everyone a bit sweatier! Let me know which you prefer.'

It's just what parenting is about!

You say it is 'deodorant deodorant" when asked if it deodorant of anti perspirant. If it isn't anti perspirant they will smell more quickly if sweaty. I try to use just natural deodorant but can't in summer as I sweat and then smell quickly. Maybe try getting anti perspirant and see if that helps.

I just walk into the room and announce it smells of stinky teenagers in here, open all the windows and chase them off for a bloody good wash. There is body spray in the entrance hallway for all visiting stinky teenagers and spray on deodorant as well as body spray in all bathrooms for visitors. These get regularly used!

I hug mine all the time and tell them they are yucky or a smell only a mother could love! They don’t seem shamed or traumatised by this. I also regularly walk in and announce I smell like a barn/am sweating like a pig/as red as a beetroot/my feet stink/covered in mud after long hikes, long runs etc. We have a long running competition on who can get the largest surface area of top covered in sweat patch - it’s a bit like a badge of honour on who has been working hardest and I can fill nearly a whole t shirt on a warm day.

nobody is shamed by this

Do they sweat alot? I used to as a teenager and into my early twenties, I always had damp patches and stains on the armpit areas of my tops, I ended up buying a really strong anti perspirant from boots. It worked really well and I eventually grew out of it

I recommend Mitchum’s 48 hour deodorant worked for me as a teenager. It was the only one that lasted all day.
I found I needed to use either roll on, or the stick deodorant. Antiperspirant spray didn’t do the job.
My parents were honestly, pretty blunt with me, and just told me when I needed to start using deodorant. My mum was also quite good about letting me know when, what I was using, did not work. I would always rather family told me, than someone at school!

I've just been blunt. And bought them great deodorant. Sweaty smells are just a fact of life but something can be done about it. No need to be embarrassed.

Are they washing /actually scrubbing armpits properly? I use a wash mitt. Proper soap, antibacterial if necessary.
If they’re just rubbing a bit of gel in, or just water they will whiff.
Clean towel and dry properly. Clean clothes.

Could be a genuine issue.. I have hyperhydrosis and when I was 16 it was really bad, I was fully aware but no amount of washing or deodorant would help. You can find driclor roll on deodorant in boots it works wonders