How to talk to my 16 year old and 13 year old daughters about how they smell ?

[LosAngelesMom]

I have two daughters, one 16 and one 13.
The 16 year old, has a really strong sweaty body odor. She does wear deodorant but it's not enough aware. By midday she smells.

My 13 year old isn't as bad, yet. Her deodorant can survive until the end of a school day.

The 16 year old's smell was at the same level as the 13 year old, when she was 13 years herself back then. So I need to warn the 13 year old about her possible future.

I want to be able to talk to them without creating some kind of complex. I am a fellow stinky girl who sweats a lot. I get so self-conscious and insecure about it. I don't want them to feel the way I do now.

Any tips ?

Can't the maid tell them?

They need anti p

From what you're saying it doesn't seem to be their fault, just that they need a different antiperspirant.

Could you not just change brands and present them with it?

No absolutely not. I knew I had wet patches under my arms and BO. I was extremely grateful. It's a very delicate discussion though.

Are they anxious or stressed OP? I think anxiety sweat smells worse than normal. Teens can be a horrible time for some people.

I agree with PP about mitchum. The best one imo is the cream called "soft solid" but it works best if you shower at night, apply it, and let it sit overnight. If they're showering in the morning too, they need to do that early and let it sit a bit.

Shirts are a horrible material if you're sweating, it might help to wear t-shirts under school shirts. Something breathable. Some fabrics smell good out the wash but once you put them on and warm them up, the smell comes back. Sports tops are terrible for that.

Also sometimes underarms get clogged up with old deodorant so they need a good scrub. Soap and glory scrub of your life in the tube is good.

If they shower twice a day I suspect they feel self conscious about it already. Have you ever asked "why do you shower twice a day?", might help open up that conversation

Fuzzy deodorant.
It’s the best thing I’ve ever found re odours. It lasts all day with no issue at all too.

I feel so bad for kids. They're all going through puberty and sweating more, and they have to wear the worst clothes combination possible for sweating, and probably walk to school lugging a heavy bag around. No wonder they smell sometimes.

They need to use an anti perspirant deodorant and experiment with different ones. I used to really like Mitchum then it stopped working for me, yet my daughter can use it and stays fresh all day. I now use Sanex but again it has to be a particular one. Not all antiperspirant deodorants work the same for everyone.

Male sure the maid is using biological laundry detergent and not a "kind to skin" non-bio. You need the enzymes to eat away the smell! Also, a squirt of stain remover rubbed into the armpits before washing will help. Even if the clothes smell fresh once the body warms them up the smells will be noticeable.

And, try a bar of cheep soap in a "soap saver" bag. They're a rough fabric and really exfoliate, I use it on my armpits daily. It'll also cut through the deodorant so nothing is still there to fester under the new layer of deodorant.

Sorry - but they shower twice a day, use soap, wear clean clothes and use deodorant?

Do they smell to anyone but you?

What I am inferring here is that they don’t have a problem.

There is a version of OCD known as Olfactory Reference Syndrome where a person feels they or other people smell offensive. OP, I think you should speak to your GP.

Who the hell has a ‘maid’???

Someone who is OCD and clearly wants to torment their teen age daughters with the notion that they smell.

The ordinary Glycolic acid on a cotton pad and wipe the arm pits twice a week. Make sure the haven't just shaved. Massive difference. Carry on the the showers, antiperspirant and clean natural fibre clothes.

if they are not using antiperspirant then that is the problem. No discussion needed

Have you ever tried the blunt approach.
no faffing no hushy mushy talk just straight to the point.
Girls your both young lady`s now no offence to you both but you smell of strong bo in the afternoon so lets get that sorted ok.

Its not down to other people to tell them if they cant smell it but the mother can dont you think she should say so they are her kids not the maids.

Sorry Justfreedom, that was a mini joke. I think all the other suggestions have been covered!

There are plenty of cultures around the world where having a maid/housekeeper is entirely normal. Going by the OP's user name, she is not in the UK and is somewhere where having staff is not uncommon.

They may have allergies or food intolerances. Some people smell terrible after eating dairy for example, while others are fine. Good be worth getting some tests. It sounds as if they wash and change clothes frequently so most likely the smell is coming out of their pores all over their bodies, not just armpits.

Mitchum stick antiperspirant Bar soap, not shower gel
Not sure if you’re in UK but Perspirex( applied at night 2/3 times per week) is fantastic stuff

Seconded.

Plus hibiscrub / hibiwash. It'll solve the problem instantly.

This has been a life saver for my teens!

https://www.boots.com/sure-women-maximum-protection-antiperspirant-cream-confidence-45-ml-10137030

I would totally agree with this if their personal hygiene was bad but it's not. They're washing twice daily and wearing clean clothes.
I knew a boy like this years ago, poor lad was so embarrassed as he too was very clean. In the end he had to have botox under his arms and on his feet to stop the excessive sweating.

My goodness how can you not know how to talk to them about it? I just tell mine they stink let’s go sort it out. They would equally tell me something like this back. By not talking to them you’re making it a
massive issue and although it could be if not dealt with its
nit really we are all masking our smells all day every day.

Are they actually scrubbing? Using a loofah or equivalent?