DH said he wants to be a 30% Dad

[Japaneseflower]

Curious of people's opinions about this. I'm happily married for 5 years. We have a 2 year old and second due in a few weeks. Lately, parenting has felt all consuming and the 2 year old antics have definitely ticked in but overall I would say its not even too extreme. It's mostly throwing things and sometimes not listening. Anyway, I feel I am definitely the main caregiver which I don't mind and enjoy but it's been a tough few months being pregnant with a toddler. I spent half a day out yesterday so my husband stayed home with him and I find every time he looks after our son for a few hours, my husband is very overwhelmed, tired and exhausted. Then today he said he feels he wants to be 30% involved with childcare (I believe that's what he meant). Obviously I was not happy with this at all because I feel this is the reality of parenting and our free time does decrease. He admits that he selfishly yearns for more time to himself. I get him, I do but I also need support and truly believe both parents need to be fully in. What do people think?

30% 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OMG honestly whatever next. What a bellend!

This is so weird. There is no percentage in parenting. In most cases, women always do more - it's just what it is.

It's not about equality sharing the work. That's just isn't possible. He is probably doing the "30%" anyway, but the fact that he thinks he does more (you work, looking after a toddler while you are being pregnant!!!!) is shocking.

I also don't get the comments on doing 50-50. How is that even possible? You need to work as a team - see who does better with each responsibility and work around that. For example, my husband does most of the night time with my toddler as he is amazing with reading books and explaining stuff for an hour - that is something I get bored of very easily. We don't do the - one night you one night me- he loves it and he is better at it. There are plenty of other things that I am better, so I do most times.

I get that he needs his "me time". I do to. But it means I cook, clean, doing laundry in my "me time" while my husband is with the kids. If that what he means by 30%, that's fine. If he wants to check out from everything, that's definitely not ok.

So childcare is work? So you are working 7 days a week and evenings, and he is only working 5 days? Sounds like 30% might be more than he is doing now...it's harder with 2 and he'll have to mind the toddler