How much money do you need to earn to have kids?

[Anudawan]

I’ve always wanted a brood, I mean 3/4.

how much does one need to earn to facilitate this?

how much do you ‘need’ to earn for 2 kids, 3kids etc.

for me private school isn’t a priority, id save some money for them to go to uni, get them a 2nd hand car (not a banger but nothing too pricey) and a contribution towards a house deposit (nominal amount, as I do think it’s important to save and grind a bit for this type of stuff) I think largely house deposits would come from my inheritance.

we’d like a moderate lifestyle, shopped around holiday abroad, a UK holiday etc

mortgage around 1100

I’ve posted similar in aibu, largely by accident but post hasn’t got much traction

Because when I’ve been asked a question I’ve answered.

how much is a 4/5 bed?
how much is childcare in your area?
how much would you like to provide in term of house deposits if at all?
how much would you contribute to uni if at all?
would I give up work?
how would I fund mat leave?

yes shocker, I’ve looked into it

We have three kids and currently earn £100k (before tax) between us as I reduced my hours to three days a week. I’m about to go up to 4 days which will increase us to about £110k combined because our mortgage is going up and if I don’t increase my hours we won’t be able to save anything each month. So I guess that puts a numerical value on it - for us, we need to earn £110k combined (both on £60k ish gross) to comfortably afford 3 kids in a 4 bed house in the south east. Our childcare bill is incredibly low though, much lower than you’d think despite no family help, because we have flexible working arrangements to avoid the need for wraparound care and we get 30 hours funding for our 3yo and 15 hours for our 1yo who goes to a childminder which is about 1/4 of the total cost of a
nursery because they let us use all your funding instead of restricting how and when you can use your hours. She does 21 hours a week and during term time our bill is around £180 a month.

Yes, some of us would and do

If you' wouldn't that sayes more about you surely?

It depends on so.many things. If you have to pay for childcare or if your Mum or MiL will have them a day each week if they don't work. If DC are the same gender and can share a room or if the opposite sex at some point they will need separate rooms. If you're happy to give the DC pre used clothes or not, especially when they are babies and growing so fast clothes need replacing every few months. Same with pre-used equipment and toys. Always buy a new mattress and car seat though. If as a family you are happy with cheap days out at the park or local attractions or want theme parks or expensive trips. Same with holidays. Would you be happy with a week by the seaside in the UK or want foreign holidays. How long is a piece of string? Once the DC are here most people muddle through and once DC are out of childcare, which is a major expense and at school things become cheaper.

If you' wouldn't that sayes more about you surely?

I wouldn't give a large cash gift to my dc for a deposit if I still had a mortgage or not much of a pension & was financially insecure, they would have to wait until I die in those circumstances. What does that say about me?!

We stopped at two largely because of time but anymore would have meant difficulty saving for uni & deposit without impacting holidays, extracurriculars, where we live., staying pt, etc What does that say about me?

If you' wouldn't that sayes more about you surely?

Restricting your lifestyle to give your kids a deposit, whatever could go wrong there eh.

You need to consider the cost of inflation. Healthy food has gone up 20% in the last couple of years. It’s very likely inflation will continue to be much higher than wages so in 10 years your monwy won’t go as far as now.

Don’t take on any debt other than mortgage and over pay your mortgage as much as possible before children will put you in a good position. Make sure your house is in a good catchment area.

This really is an impossible question. What one person considers to be a necessity another will consider a luxury.

I think you also need to think of the practicalities of having 3/4 kids, bedrooms, spaces, clubs, clothes, hobbies, food... this is a lot of money. I have just £900 on two residentials for my two, this isn't a necessity obviously but an important thing for them to be able to do in my opinion.

As an aside, I'd always wanted three but my daughter was a very challenging baby and I didn't have it in me to do it again. I also think you don't know how you'll fare in motherhood, birth, work until you're on that journey.

Some do it on 40k and feel that's manageable, some will be doing it on 200k and think that's a pinch.