How much money do you need to earn to have kids?

[Anudawan]

I’ve always wanted a brood, I mean 3/4.

how much does one need to earn to facilitate this?

how much do you ‘need’ to earn for 2 kids, 3kids etc.

for me private school isn’t a priority, id save some money for them to go to uni, get them a 2nd hand car (not a banger but nothing too pricey) and a contribution towards a house deposit (nominal amount, as I do think it’s important to save and grind a bit for this type of stuff) I think largely house deposits would come from my inheritance.

we’d like a moderate lifestyle, shopped around holiday abroad, a UK holiday etc

mortgage around 1100

I’ve posted similar in aibu, largely by accident but post hasn’t got much traction

Only just pregnant with Dc1 but we have a joint income of around 100k after tax and a lot of disposable income. We live very comfortably now with 3 abroad trips a year 4 bed detached house etc and we still manage to save loads so don't think we'll struggle at all with 1. 100k would probably be fine for 2 but that's about it. Childcare fees are extortionate!

Our family income is nowhere near £120k and I have 4dc. It is doable on much less.

I know of this scheme. It’s not 20% off, it’s a top up scheme w a yearly limit. After my next pay rise I won’t qualify anymore.

Is it not tantamount to the same thing, do whilst it’s capped, if for really simplistic terms your bill is £100, you pay £80 and the gov pay £20? Given the bill I’ve been quoted of £355, I could expect to pay £284. Sounds good to me.

if you don’t qualify that must mean you earn or are soon to earn over £100k as an individual which seems to be the governments line in the sand for childcare. You wouldn’t qualify, on that basis for the funded hours either.

Look I have children i don’t need a lecture on how the childcare system works and the caps. Strictly it’s a top up account, you pay a limited amount into an account and get a top up if you qualify.

IME the only couples with a high lifestyle that have 3 and more kids have two high earners and a ton of help like nannies, or one high earner and one pretty much SAH parent. I think you are underestimating how much time and attention 3-4 kids need. And when they are older they have clubs, activities, friends, parties and need you to get them there and back.

last minute deals in the school holidays? Forget it 🤣

I've got 3 DC (now young adults) and our household income has never been much more than £70k gross. We're a bit better off now as I've got a better paid job and we've got a part time business which helps. We're not very materialistic, live in a beautiful place and I feel my DC have had good childhoods. We're a close family and enjoy spending time together.

Some of the things you're mentioning are nice to have but they're not essential and you cut your cloth according to what you've got. We've had mainly UK self catering holidays. We haven't saved money for house deposits or uni or bought them cars.

If they need a car they borrow ours (we've got two), the youngest two don't want to go to uni and the eldest one is currently at uni but took a year off and worked before he went and his savings help cover his costs.

Childcare costs are expensive when they're little but the time you need to cover them for is fairly short.

And remember that teachers, nurses, shop assistants, police men, farmers, kitchen managers, cleaners - carry on the list - have children too. Its not only high earners.

They might not have a big fancy house and garden, expensive clothes, extra ordinary birthday parties, tutors or holidays abroad - but still offer a stable and loving family life.

On MNs all parents seems to earn double of what most parents I know.

But you don't have to go abroad.
Lots of families don't holiday abroad or go skiing and still manage to spend their holidays in a good way.

Such a hard question to answer. I know families who have three kids who have very low incomes, like one parent working and earning a minimum wage. You know what, they seem to do OK. They have a roof over their heads and the kids are loved and well fed.
But they are expensive. Now mine are teens it's way more expensive than when they were little. We haven't managed to save for uni or house deposits. We certainly won't be buying them cars! If you want to put four kids through uni, give them all cars and house deposits I think you need to be very comfortably off. Obviously it's not just the car but lessons which will be around £5k per child and insurance which will be a fortune.
As for uni, obviously it depends how much you have but there's fees to pay, rent, living expenses etc. I'm kind of hoping mine might choose to do apprenticeships or something.

Very few parents can afford all this.
How many of our own parents could?

Around 40 years ago out with friends (couple), they had a small child and were talking about having another. They asked when we would be having a child. I replied "when we can afford them". Male friend said "If you wait until you can afford them, you'll never have any".
Words that I really thought about. He was right, still is.

@threelittlescones I genuinely don't know how you run a household with 4 dc on £2813 after mortgage without scrimping and with a chunk left over. But everyone has different expectations.

And remember that teachers, nurses, shop assistants, police men, farmers, kitchen managers, cleaners - carry on the list - have children too. It's not only high earners.

Certainly in London teachers & police can be on 50k plus..,

Indeed, my parents haven't given me a penny. They simply can't afford to and that's fine. They're wonderful parents and what they have given me (love, support) is worth far more than money.

Agree, but holidays in term time are expensive everywhere. Even caravans in the UK. I know a number of families with 2 kids (2 working parents) who can’t afford a UK holiday or only when the grandparents invite them to join their holidays. And not everyone likes camping or can buy and store all the equipment.

EDIT: OP also said she would like a holiday abroad. I think with 3 kids and more that becomes expensive quickly.

• Very few parents can afford all this. How many of our own parents could?*

That's true but the OP seemed to have a particular lifestyle expectation. I also think things are different for dc born now. It's much harder to improve one's lot and much of it comes down to what your parents have and if they can help you vs salary/job.

I think some of the expectations are unrealistic. Good lifestyle is possible but also saving for cars, university and house deposit for 3 requires at least one high earner if not two. Or an inheritance.

I think the good old days of buying ‘an old banger’ for teenagers has gone. It’s not the car that costs so much, it’s the insurance. That will cost you £2-3k per child per year each. I have two teenagers and I am AMAZED at how much they eat. It’s like having locusts in the house. And even a ‘cheap’ holiday for 6 people (2x parents, 4xkids) is going to cost a lot. I would say that if you live in the South East of England, you would need a combined income of at least £120k to be comfy with 4 kids. Obviously depends on your mortgage/childcare costs tho. And I’m another fan of Vinted.

We have an 8ncome of nowhere near this 100k, and have raised two children without struggle. Until a few years ago it was under £50k... enough not to get any benefits (except child benefit)and also build house deposits, cars holidays etc. But we don't live in London!

The main things to be aware off are

• childcare can wipe out a wage
• your earning potential can slow down.

Its about priorities really.

Of course if expensive holidays are important for you don't have children!

A lot if families without high earners find a way to spend their holidays without a lifelong trauma for the children. .
MN is often quite bonkers then holidays are discussed.

What is this obsession these days with giving your children a house deposit? I realise house prices have gone up, but for those of us who don't live in the south east, a 10% deposit on a house is still an achievable amount to save on a normal salary. £150k for a 2/3 bed terraced or semi is fairly normal around here (and it's hardly a deprived, isolated area with no job prospects).

Whilst I will and do help my children out wherever I can (single parent to one older teen and one early 20s), I do think it is good for them to learn to work, save and budget rather than be handed everything on a plate.

Yes if you want a particular lifestyle expectation and an expensive life you might not opt for children.

It's a choice to go for this life style instead of children and family life tbh.

I don't know and most parents can't.

well, on the face of it and in my circumstances looks the same to me.

we went last year with my BIL and his 2 kids. Last week of August they paid £2k us less, so promise does happen

What do you mean by save for university as this means different things to different people.

If you mean no student loans, you'd be looking at 45k per child to match the loans.

Most people start with one child and see how it goes. Although twins do happen.. So most of the time you don't need to commit to funding 3 or 4 children from the start. You can see how it goes and adjust accordingly.

Also chikdren dont need thier own rooms. It's very common for same sex children to share in larger families.