How much money do you need to earn to have kids?

[Anudawan]

I’ve always wanted a brood, I mean 3/4.

how much does one need to earn to facilitate this?

how much do you ‘need’ to earn for 2 kids, 3kids etc.

for me private school isn’t a priority, id save some money for them to go to uni, get them a 2nd hand car (not a banger but nothing too pricey) and a contribution towards a house deposit (nominal amount, as I do think it’s important to save and grind a bit for this type of stuff) I think largely house deposits would come from my inheritance.

we’d like a moderate lifestyle, shopped around holiday abroad, a UK holiday etc

mortgage around 1100

I’ve posted similar in aibu, largely by accident but post hasn’t got much traction

100k for 2
200k for 4 - due to tax

Obviously if you have family help then you don't need to earn as much.

Also would you want to work? Full time with 4 dc is a lot!

So say you're both on 60k in the early years, £3,600ish per month after tax/NI/pension.

£1.1k mortgage
£1k other bills
£1k food/fuel
£3.5k saving/holidays/clubs/childcare

I feel that's pretty doable, though you may want to be strategic on age gaps between children so you're not hit with double/triple nursery fees. It'll depend on your area (and if you have family around to help!) but where I am it's still almost 2k a month even after the 'funded' hours ~ loads of nurseries post their fees online so you can have a mooch and find out what's the local norm (I know mine are super expensive as it's a pricy area 😬)

I would say - start the saving as early on as possible. I've been contributing to the pot for DSs Uni/House funds since he was born and the people I know with older children/teens are STRESSED because those are not things that can easily be saved for over a year or two - especially with multiple kids - and people often put that off and realise too late!

It is a dig at people having more children than they can afford and claiming benefits.

People aren't having dc, we have an aging population which also impacts the net contributors narrative...

Can you put a numerical value on it. Your very well and my very well could be vastly different.

(I do also have an inheritance, probably around £500k, I’d like use some of this to give my children a house deposit)

I’m not sure how much we’d give, if and assuming everything would be as is today ie property value, I’d say probably around £5k for a deposit each, so more of a gift towards rather than the whole thing. And car wise maybe £3k and they’d probably have to share for a bit

We have a household income of £100k ish and live in a high cost area. Mortgage approx £1800 per month. Expecting our second. We would struggle to have more than two and have a big enough age gap that our first will have started school when the second goes to nursery. We live a fairly simple lifestyle - minimal holidays/luxuries and no expensive hobbies, second hand cars, second hand anything to be honest! But we do eat out a few times a month and we don't have to watch every penny.

But are your dc born yet? Will 3k in 20 yrs buy a car? 5k won't be a house deposit.

(I do also have an inheritance, probably around £500k, I’d like use some of this to give my children a house deposit)

If you already have 500k then why not make sure that's invested and you can get maximum returns on it?

Childcare for 3 dc will be astronomical even with government help.

so I have an inside scoop on a local nursery (my friend is the manager) and 4 days a week with 30 hrs funding is £355- which I thought was an absolute bargain! It is term time only though, but for the most part we can manager hols with annual leave and family.

earning are a smidge less than you have £3400 as we get health insurance, a car, and protection policies deductible but for an overall saving as they’re substantially discounted compared to the market place.

and you think that’s ok for 1? 2? Or 3? Etc

that’s why I said if things are as they are now… the 3k relative to the cost of things as they are now.

i can’t spend my inheritance because DM is still alive and unaliving her would be in poor taste and is frowned upon (I’m messing).

Well nursery for 1 4 days at a place where my friend manages is (with funding) £355 a month which seems a bargain

although x that by 3 and it adds up

Don't wait until you can "afford" to have kids. If you look at the numbers, it will never happen. Once they are here, you find a way to cope with the expense. Somehow you find your household budget can stretch just that little bit further.

You might end up in a house which is smaller than your ideal, having to live in an area which is less than your ideal, perhaps not being able to give them all you'd like ideally when they go to university, or not being able to throw expensive birthday parties. None of these things are that important. Show them they are loved, keep them clean, fed and educated.

Whether you can afford to buy them a car, pay something towards a house deposit, take them on nice holidays, buy yourself new clothes etc are largely irrelevant. You find a way to make the money you have stretch and so long as they are loved, they won't worry about the trappings.

i can’t spend my inheritance because DM is still alive and unaliving her would be in poor taste and is frowned upon (I’m messing).

And if she needs care? That could go poof. And you won't be able to effectively look after 4 children and do care for her. Do NOT rely on inheritance.

You're asking people for numerical data, but there's no way to know. If one child has complex needs you can set fire to any budget. If you and your DH split up like 50% of the population. If 'family help' doesn't materialise? My MIL died when DD was small. The expected help didn't happen, although she would have loved to

My advice, plan for one, see how things are and how you feel. Have another if that works. Build a LOT of contingency into your plan.

I mean once you have a child you have to make it work so what you're asking is impossible to say. Do you want a bedroom for each child? How much mortgage is realistic in your area? Don't forget every bill is larger as well.
Do you want to eat out regularly? Go camping or 5* luxury. Fo you want to be able to afford clubs? Tutors? Private school?
If you really want a figure add up what the costs will be for the lifestyle you want and add on 5-10% a year. The last few years have been crazy for costs shooting up.
You want double the average number of children most people have in uk, so it's going to be expensive

Are you sure that nursery cost isn't weekly?

Also, I wouldn't be relying on inheritance to fund it personally.

4 days a week with 30 hrs funding is £355- which I thought was an absolute bargain! It is term time only though, but for the most part we can manager hols with annual leave and family.

Thats lucky as many nurseries make you pay for say 50 wks of the year. Will family really take 3/4 young dc at once?! I wouldn't assume family can do childcare as who knows what healthcare issues can arise.

i can’t spend my inheritance because DM is still alive and unaliving her would be in poor taste and is frowned upon (I’m messing).

Oh I assumed you had the cash, I would not rely on that tbh.

I never understand these posts. If you want kids have them. Clearly if you have 4 kids you are going to struggle financially unless you both have a good salaries. 4 x childcare costs, 4 x holiday places(usually only on child can go free with packages) would be eye watering. It is all situational though, costs vary across the country in terms of housing, childcare etc.
The one thing I would say OP is if you have 4 kids NOONE will babysit for you and you'll never have a night away with DP ever again until they're all teenagers. And if you do they will probably have a big fuck off party and trash your house. 😂
My SILs really pissed me off saying they can't have kids until they get the forever house blah di blah and put a lot of pressure on my DP when he was executing his mum's estate to get it all done quicker. The stress of it aged him and I hate the cows for what they did to him. In a nutshell don't worry about the money and planning it all, you will manage with what you have got. Once you have a couple you might change your mind about 4 though mind!! I'm two and done.

Also I had to pay top up hours at my nursery as my working day was longer accounting for travel.

I don’t want to get into the specifics of it, but she’s quite well off so she’d have more than enough funds to cover it. Her pension is around 3.5k, she works on top. She also has 2 properties and a good amount in investments.

yeah it’s monthly and she mentioned you can get 20% off too with a gov scheme

oh inheritance wouldn’t fund childcare, that would be our income. Inheritance would or could be an extra amount for a deposit for a home one day

My advice, plan for one, see how things are and how you feel. Have another if that works. Build a LOT of contingency into your plan.

this is the best advice

Are you thinking 4 days a week as in dropping a day (and a chunk of your income?)

I agree with someone else upthread who mentioned if you split with your husband. Obviously no one goes into a marriage thinking that will happen but statistically it's fairly likely - trying to raise 4 kids on 60k would be a squeeze.

Honestly there are so many unknowns it's difficult to give advice because it's all subjective. Someone may tell you £30k a year is enough to raise 10 kids on, go for it! And others will need/want far more to feel comfortable. Personally I wouldn't want lots of kids on the salaries you/your DH have, but that's because I enjoy more holidays and have a much higher mortgage.

It's geographical aswell Newcastle will be different to Northumberland, Leeds different to London.

my friend has one in London on £70k and that's fine she puts in a junior stocks and shares isa for her kid

We already both work compressed hours, it’s the bau operating rhythm where we both work. Quite enjoy it tbh