How much money do you need to earn to have kids?

[Anudawan]

I’ve always wanted a brood, I mean 3/4.

how much does one need to earn to facilitate this?

how much do you ‘need’ to earn for 2 kids, 3kids etc.

for me private school isn’t a priority, id save some money for them to go to uni, get them a 2nd hand car (not a banger but nothing too pricey) and a contribution towards a house deposit (nominal amount, as I do think it’s important to save and grind a bit for this type of stuff) I think largely house deposits would come from my inheritance.

we’d like a moderate lifestyle, shopped around holiday abroad, a UK holiday etc

mortgage around 1100

I’ve posted similar in aibu, largely by accident but post hasn’t got much traction

Judges might do. In reality a court settlement costs a lot, so it's quite common for one party or another to get screwed over

Personally, if I'd be gifting a significant amount of my money, I want the dc to ring-fence it, or they wouldn't get the money until I die.

yes that’s how I think. I wouldn’t have been comfortable of me putting down the deposit on the house we own now and DH putting nothing In. It’s a risk.

and as to 5k getting you as you so eloquently put it ‘jack shit’ well that’s why I said I’d give a nominal amount as a gift, not give the entire house deposit. £5k can increase your buying power and tip you into a new LTV bracket or it might buy a boiler or carpet or a new bathroom.

That’s not correct, you can ring fence money gifted say for a house deposit

Tbh the best way to protect your assets from going to your partner is not to get married

If they are rich then you get married. If you are rich don't marry 😆

Yeah you can at the beginning of the relationship. It becomes invalid once married and children are part of the marriage. You can have that legal advice for free!!!! (I paid for it)

Sorry but I think this £5 gift you keep talking about is a lot less in the grand scheme of people’s lives than you think. You said you would seek legal advice to find out how to ring fence this £5k, you’d probably spend a good chunk of that on the legal advice..

£5k house deposit gift is a bit like your granny slipping £2 into your palm and whispering don’t spend it all at once.

to answer your original OP. £100k in the south and 2 soon to be 3 children. It doesn’t go far and is not as much as you think it would be

😂😂😂

Sorry but I think this £5 gift you keep talking about is a lot less in the grand scheme of people’s lives than you think. You said you would seek legal advice to find out how to ring fence this £5k, you’d probably spend a good chunk of that on the legal advice..

that's very true!

You’d WANT your dc to ring fence if from the spouses. Fine to want that, you can’t enforce it if they marry.
also when you are dead it still won’t protect it from your childrens spouses…

bit of misrepresentation there.

i said I wouldn’t gift my child any substantial sum of money if their partner wasn’t also contributing. If you define 5k as substantial, well.

i also said I’d get legal advice on my inheritance.

i also said I’d never give my kids a house deposit but rather a nominal contribution towards, for instance 5k. I wouldn’t liken it to £2, I think that’s incredibly dismissive. If my mum gifted me £5k as she knew I was buying a property, I’d consider it incredibly generous and it would help me out. I think she gave the equivalent of £2.5k and I was over the moon, it meant we were able to buy integrated white goods for the kitchen. Providing income multiples and affordability, 5k can give you an additional £50k of buying power on a 90% mortgage. It can also put you into a different ltv band or just buy house stuff. Regardless that’s why I said nominal amount rather than entire deposit 👍🏻

reassuring on salary, thank you!

When I'm dead I won't care less.

In the meantime, the reality is gifts of this kind of not ringfenced may be to the detriment of daughters.

Imagine. DD gets a gift from her parents of £100k to put down a decent deposit on a house. She then has children and compromises her pension. On divorce, the equity in the house is split 50/50, but he won't budge on giving up half "his" pension. To go to court over this will cost approx £10k, so she let's his pension slide. He then gets an inheritance, but again, to go to court on this will cost a significant amount.

He gets half the equity of the house he didn't put a deposit on, all his pension and all his inheritance because you can only afford to fight these things if you've got the money to do so.

Of course I'd want any money given to my children to be ringfenced. Otherwise they can wait until I die and don't care anymore.

If you wait until you die then it’s going to be less money due to inheritance tax no? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Better to gift it while you’re alive and have a good chance of the money going to your child and their greedy spouse rather than a huge chunk going to tax man?

And 30k is better at 25 than a lot more money yrs later.

Inheritance tax only kicks in for direct descents at around £500k, so I'm hardly worried about that as a single parent who has been screwed over by the ex

If I give a significant amount to my DC, it's a significant amount to me. I could really need and use that money, but I'm giving it to them to help them out of a hole I don't ever want them to experience. I don't want their spouse to benefit from the fact that I've had to do without to give to them.

And if married and you outlive your spouse you inherit their allowance too

I don't want their spouse to benefit from the fact that I've had to do without to give to them.

You should not do without to give though, I'm sure your dc wouldn't want that.

1 kid, £120k. £2k mortgage and £1k nursery bill, about £750 left to save each month, though we did not holiday much the last two years as DS is a nightmare in flights. Lifestyle otherwise comfortable but we would struggle with more than 2 between nursery fees, after school clubs etc

That sounds really tough.

tbh I don’t think there’s a way to stop your children sharing their money with their spouses like you are hoping.

My in laws can’t just come round my house and lock a few of the bedrooms so I can’t use the % of the house they gifted as a deposit to my DH. Likewise their deposit isn’t protected now, if we divorce or if they die.
That ship has sailed. And yes they did initially ring fence the money in a legal document that is now no longer valid and probably in the bin.

With salary, child support and a small top up from UC, I am on the equivalent of £60k. With three teenagers as a single parent, it can be a struggle.

Wouldn't we all do that though?

I'm maybe dis--railing the thread somewhat, but I used significant savings to put a deposit on our home. I got half the equity. He won't give up half his pension without a court fight I can't afford.

We have no clean break order. He's inherited a 7 figure sum. I live in an ex-council house with a mortgage. He lives in a £500k property bought cash. I can't afford to fight him on it, but any money I give to my DC must be ringfenced. I'm not well-off, but whatever I have I'll give to them gladly. I just don't want an ex-spouse to benefit from money I could have used to make my life easier.

I'm not sure why you asked as you seem to have it all planned out already and seem to have an answer for everything and completely ignoring everything that people with real life experience of having children and being parents are sharing. I think in the future you will look back on this post and cringe about how much of an insufferable know it all you were when actually you knew nothing 🤣

Wouldn't we all do that though?

Do what? Give & do without? I don't think so, my in-laws & parents are mortgage free, have decent pensions, lifestyles etc. They aren't missing out on holidays by giving us a cash gift. And that's probably why there is so many discrepancies on this thread because when people are calculating affordability to them some will be thinking how can I save for my dc without impacting my lifestyle.

You are a bit like those people who insist that before they have children they will never have screens or watch tv or eat sweets ..

what a nice person you are, maybe something for you to cringe about in the future

Yeah I’m ignoring people that have an opinion on nominal gifts and my personal preference when buying my house with my husband because it’s largely irrelevant.

I

Yes, I'd do without to ensure my dc don't have to. Without a second thought. However, I don't want to do without so spouses can benefit when I've made those sacrifices for my DC, not for them

In this area, a £100k deposit could be 33-50% of a very nice house, or nearly 80-90% of a typical first time buyers house.

Why would I want that I gift that money if the spouse would get half. But I still want to use that money for my DC.