How much money do you need to earn to have kids?

[Anudawan]

I’ve always wanted a brood, I mean 3/4.

how much does one need to earn to facilitate this?

how much do you ‘need’ to earn for 2 kids, 3kids etc.

for me private school isn’t a priority, id save some money for them to go to uni, get them a 2nd hand car (not a banger but nothing too pricey) and a contribution towards a house deposit (nominal amount, as I do think it’s important to save and grind a bit for this type of stuff) I think largely house deposits would come from my inheritance.

we’d like a moderate lifestyle, shopped around holiday abroad, a UK holiday etc

mortgage around 1100

I’ve posted similar in aibu, largely by accident but post hasn’t got much traction

It just depends on expectations & lifestyle. We earn more, have 2dc & no real childcare as dc are in primary & Im pt and almost term time only. Mortgage is quite large as we live near excellent schools. We have to budget, GPs are wealthy & generous so help with renovations, cars & holidays which is very much needed.

I think that Homer Simpson quote covers it quite adeptly. 'Marriage is like a coffin and each child is another nail in it'😂

😆

Deceased 😆

This is rather negative. We have four children and we don't struggle financially. Our total household income equates to around £4k per month and we have a chunk of that leftover at the end of the month without scrimping on things. Grandparents do babysit for us although our youngest is still a baby so it's mostly just the older 3 (although still all under age 6) they have for sleepovers but that's our personal choice. They look after all 4 during the day. If we wanted a night away when the baby is a bit older it wouldn't be an issue either.

Depends on location but I would have a 3rd child if our family income was close to £300k. But I'm in London.

In order to give each child the same savings at the end of the 18 years etc plus tuition, classes, experiences, travel etc.... no way. Not even contemplating private school.

We have four children and we don't struggle financially. Our total household income equates to around £4k per month and we have a chunk of that leftover at the end of the month without scrimping on things.

You must have incredibly low housing costs

Mortgage is £1187 per month

Yep exactly the same here. Managing ok but it's getting harder with everything going up..and kids 6 and 2 now but getting more expensive as they get older.
Is your inheritance a given?

OP have a look at holiday prices in school holidays now, look at 2-4 kids and see if you could afford this. also consider prices in 5-10 years. Going abroad with 4 kids is going to cost you a bomb unless you go camping.

what’s this miraculous 20% off childcare government scheme?

to add, we have two kids and can afford clubs, activities, holidays abroad, music lessons, savings for uni etc. we could probably afford 3-4 kids but definitely wouldn’t be the same lifestyle and would have to cut back on days out, holidays, activities and meals out. Plus bigger cars, bigger house, the mental load 🤯, working and finding time for 3-4 kids. I imagine it’s A LOT

4 kids here and income is £4500ish per month net. Not got a lot left over most months tbh despite low housing costs (around £700 per month). However we do have high sundry costs - around £350 pm extra curriculars for the kids, though no child care. We go abroad once a year, UK holidays / mini breaks several times a year. Don't really budget for food, days out etc. However, our eldest is now 13 and we are noticing expenses start to creep up as we buy adult clothes, more food etc.

Having 4 children - and raising them well - is hard work. Imo you cannot do it and enjoy it if you are cash poor and time poor. One or the other might work.

I’ve googled and tax free childcare is what comes up? Look into it if you’re not already

I’m a last min deal lover, and from my brief looking the jump is 2-3 kids, 4 obviously add more but it seems it’s the extra room for 3 that bulks up the cost. Although there are deals to be had

I had nothing but it was in the 80's. Both of us worked no benefits. We both had public sector jobs and managed just fine!

Your expectations seem really high in terms of things like buying them a car, saving for them. I’d love to do those things but realistically we spend money on feeding them (a small fortune!), clothing them and a small number of activities. Plus childcare which is bigger than our housing costs by a long way.

The website says

1. Deposit money into the account. For every £8 you pay into this account, the government will pay in £2. You can get up to £500 every 3 months (up to £2,000 a year) for each of your children to help with the costs of childcare. This goes up to £1,000 every 3 months if a child is disabled (up to £4,000 a year).

I mean those are the things I’d like to do…

but I wouldn’t give a large deposit would be a gift. The car wouldn’t be expensive and I’d expect them to share

You'll need to house them. How much does a 5 bedroom home cost in your area, assuming 4 kids with a bedroom each? Other options are available.

You'll need to feed them. Cheaper when babies, costlier as they grow. What does it cost you for 2 adults to eat each week? Now multiply that by 3 to get rough weekly cost for 6 adults (or - you, DH and would be 4 future teens).

Clothes.
Toys/school equipment eventually
Utilities.
Transportation.
Activities.
Childcare.
Holidays....
Birthdays
Christmas
Parties
Family outings
Meals out
Babysitter costs for date nights
Etc
Etc

So..how long is a piece of string?
And what lifestyle would you be able to maintain comfortably?

A pp was spot on saying I think you'll find they cost all that you have.

We earn £100k between us and we barely afford to run our own basic car…. We aren’t really struggling but we certainly don’t have the money to buy adult sized purchases for our kids. They will have to earn the money and save up.

There’s not many tbh, 4 seems to be the biggest. There are the odd 5 bed, they tend to be around £450k-£500k

we pay about £60 a week but we waste a fair bit (I know it’s awful) so we could be more economical

That’s perfectly valid.

id have hoped our earning would increase by that time, at least to around £75k each

Squillions and billions

It’s more about what will you give up and be happy about it knowing you are raising your kids instead.
i live in London as a single parent and my combined income as I work part time including maintenance is £4750 a month just about covers mortgage work/school travel, bills , groceries , clothes ( I shop from Asda George most of the time or from vinted I do not splash out on brands ) and I have £93 in my account until I get paid This Friday

This is a bit of a “how long is a piece of string?” scenario, surely? To an extent, you cut your cloth according to what you have.

Our combined income is more than yours, which is very privileged, and we are stopping at three because it’s a squeeze. I’d love a fourth. But our mortgage is very expensive, childcare is much more than you’ve been quoted, and we have no family support. We don’t want to downsize or move to a less nice/convenient area.

My sister and her husband are very, very high earners. They have two children and say that they can’t afford another - but their lifestyle is much more expensive than ours. They spend more on childcare than my husband (the higher earner in our relationship) takes home.

I also have friends who had their three children young, when earning a pittance, and they’ve all been fine too! Their children are older now and absolutely thriving.

The main thing that I’d agree with though is to maybe have one child and see how you get on, before committing to four from the off! Most people I know have had fewer children than they maybe imagined before the idea became a reality.

It is less about a numerical value and more about resources.

For each one or two children, depending on sex, you need an extra bedroom. Where I live, each extra bedroom is roughly £150,000. Maybe an extra £800 a month. Other areas will be more or less. If you already own a four bed house, no extra bedrooms.

To have one child in full time nursery at a time costs £14,000 a year. Unless you have willing and able grandparents.

And a 'brood' requires a lot of parenting. What will going part time, or giving up work cost? In pension contributions as well as in lost salary and future earnings potential?

I have one DS and have managed a comfortable life as a single mum, on £55k average a year. But I was 40 before I started, lived in the home counties, was established in my career, well into paying my mortgage and building a pension.

In London, to support having four children in 10 years comfortably, assuming the parents are in their 30s and early 40s, and not on benefits, you probably need each parent to be earning £100k. And to have a rock solid marriage.