“Shut up”

[Whywouldyousaythat88]

Today at a self check out, my 4 year old was crying to me over typical kid stuff when the woman at the self check out next to me said “oh shut up, child” loud enough that both myself and my child heard her.

How would you have reacted?

I've seen quite a few young drivers in my town jumping red lights . . .

Exactly.

So how did she know my son hadn’t just suffered a bereavement? How did she know my child didn’t have additional needs? Is it just acceptable to tell strangers to shut up now, or is it only acceptable because it’s a small child that was told to shut up?

Sometimes whining children can really grate on people. It might be that the woman has just been in another part of the store with a crying child, or she’s got a banging headache, or she’s having a horrible time in her life and at that moment your noisy child tipped her over the edge.
Just shrug and move on. Or turn around and say something. Those are your options.

I’m not very tolerant of crying kids either. Babies, fine. They cry because they can’t speak and it’s their way of communicating. A 4 year old (unless they’ve obviously hurt themselves), I would inwardly have to take some very deep breaths as I find the noise really difficult to cope with.

What?? Because someone is older, they are more likely to have MH issues? That's bonkers.

I would have told her while my child hasn't learned to regulate their emotions in social situations nor has she a fully grown adult.

@Jifmicroliquid

I would inwardly have to take some very deep breaths as I find the noise really difficult to cope with.

inwardly - not telling a 4 year old to shut up right… because that would be unreasonable, right?

Well yes, but if that day I had a banging headache, I may well utter something under my breath that could possibly be heard. Nobody is perfect and we all sometimes overreact to stimulus if it gets us at the wrong moment.

How would I have reacted? I think I would have apologised to the woman for my child's annoying behaviour. And probably then realised that I myself should have told my child to shut up before someone else had to say it.

Perhaps sometimes parents have become slightly - er - desensitised to their child's crying and whining, and if the noise is high-pitched screeching, or rather loud and carries on for a long time, it can be incredibly frustrating and irritating for other people to have to listen to it.

Where was your firm ‘ENOUGH, STOP THAT NOISE’?

or is your approach more oh I knooooooow daaaaaarling. 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly

I sometimes mutter under my breath but it's usually thoughtless people on speakerphone

@AgainandagainandagainSS i know imagine seeing your child’s disappointment and not scolding them for having normal human feelings? Hahaha! What a laugh! 🙄

@Jifmicroliquid

Well yes, but if that day I had a banging headache, I may well utter something under my breath that could possibly be heard. Nobody is perfect and we all sometimes overreact to stimulus if it gets us at the wrong moment.

So you having a head ache makes it reasonable? It’s not! You’re saying that you as an adult can have a bad day and react but a 4 year old cannot?!

It's not your job to regulate grown adult behaviour.

I'd have told her to fuck off to be totally honest - I can't take the high road and pretend I'd have ignored it cos I wouldn't, rightly or wrongly.

@TentEntWenTyfOur Stop it. Children crying is hardly a result of Modern day parenting is it? You too would have cried as a child and annoyed people. Hopefully they showed you more lenience!

It wasn't a shop assistant? Just another shopper?

How do you know she wasn’t in one of those situations herself and you just retaliated to her?

I would have said out loud to no-one in particular ‘Beware, for Voodoo chooses those who speak without caution. It seems our Voodoo tree will have another face this evening’

@Whywouldyousaythat88 - 4yos don't respond like that to a bereavement.

They may have SNs, but an older person may not think about that.

I think you're over-thinking it. If your ds was loud enough to make random people tell them off, they may have been louder than you think 🤷🏼‍♀️

Where did I say that? I didn’t mention the 4 year old. I’m just simply giving an explanation as to why the lady reacted.
The 4 year old can do what they like. As can the lady. Both are reacting to something in their environment that, at that moment, overwhelms them.

I’m a parent to a toddler and know how hard it is, but I wouldn’t say anything to be honest, my DC probably does other peoples heads in while we are out despite my best efforts. Other people’s kids annoy me while I am out but I wouldn’t say that in ear shot of their parents as often they are doing all they can to stop it! The mistake she made was voicing it but it’s hardly the crime of the century.

@Jifmicroliquid But you’re making reasons/excuses for her. There is no good reason or excuse for her to tell OPs child
to shut up whatever sort of day she had and Op Is not being unreasonable to be pissed off at her.

@BellissimoGecko

It wasn't a shop assistant? Just another shopper?

Misread but still irrelevant and my point stands?

The poor little mite. What an awful thing to say to a 4 year old.

I hate people who hate children.

On the way out tell the security guard you saw her stuffing steaks down her trousers