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Original poster

“Shut up”

347 replies

Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 20:51

Today at a self check out, my 4 year old was crying to me over typical kid stuff when the woman at the self check out next to me said “oh shut up, child” loud enough that both myself and my child heard her.

How would you have reacted?

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USaYwHatNow · 31/10/2024 20:51

Probably told her to fuck off.

GrazingLamb · 31/10/2024 20:52

I’d say nothing.

SlugLettuce · 31/10/2024 20:52

Not very nice of her at all but it’s also probably not very nice for her to have to listen to a child whining. We should be kinder to each other.

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IVFmumoftwo · 31/10/2024 20:54

SlugLettuce · 31/10/2024 20:52

Not very nice of her at all but it’s also probably not very nice for her to have to listen to a child whining. We should be kinder to each other.

Most adult thing to have done would be to ignore it.

Original poster
Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 20:54

SlugLettuce · 31/10/2024 20:52

Not very nice of her at all but it’s also probably not very nice for her to have to listen to a child whining. We should be kinder to each other.

Kinder to each other? A 4 year old is hardly being unkind by crying to his mother.

It was a supermarket, not an adults only holiday resort!

OP posts:
FuzzyGoblin · 31/10/2024 20:56

I would have ignored her because she’s likely to either be having a bad day or else your child was excessively loud given the distance.

BarbaraHoward · 31/10/2024 20:58

You have nothing to gain by doing anything other than ignoring, although I'd probably have glared.

TheDeepLemonHelper · 31/10/2024 21:02

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Louisetheroux · 31/10/2024 21:03

What is "crying over typical kid stuff"? Having a tantrum over wanting haribo?

Hatty65 · 31/10/2024 21:04

Did it shut your child up? Often being told off by a stranger stuns them into silence.

I'd have ignored it.

DeliciousApples · 31/10/2024 21:04

She was either having a bad day and couldn't take any more, or thought your parenting was ineffectual and was fed up listening to the results.

Either way I wouldn't be worried about it.

Original poster
Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 21:06

Louisetheroux · 31/10/2024 21:03

What is "crying over typical kid stuff"? Having a tantrum over wanting haribo?

I feel it’s irrelevant.

But, for what it’s worth, not a tantrum.

He was sobbing because I said we were leaving having already had 3 unsuccessful walks around the shop to find something for him to buy with his pocket money.

He was sad and understandably frustrated .

OP posts:
VapeVamp12 · 31/10/2024 21:06

I got a “shut up you effing annoying c word” a few weeks ago. A lady shouted it from an open window of a block of flats next to the kids playground . I was really upset cos I couldn’t see exactly where it came from in the block. My son is only 4 but he wasn’t screaming, just playing with the occasional laugh and shout.

I hate people sometimes.

Purple89 · 31/10/2024 21:06

What a miserable cow. To be honest, I'd have probably confronted her, in my nicest calm voice, with a "Excuse me, did you just say shut up?" I think the best thing would be to ignore but I'm not sure I could.

AutumnLeaves24 · 31/10/2024 21:07

I wouldn't have said anything (if I was her) because I like small children.

However, depending on what he was crying about (not getting sweets or something equally 'small'.) I'd have judged your parenting, 4 year old are old enough not to create like that) he must have been creating for her to say that, not just a few years.

i don't blame the children, but I do blame the parenting, where 4 year old can't take 'no' without kicking off.

but it depends how tired they look too.

BUT I'm not my best at self check out, I hate the fucking things & adding in a 4year old being a PITA. I'd have thought it!!

You say it's a supermarket not adults only resort, but it's a public space, not a child's space (like soft play) and not your house. You need to be mindful
of other people.

Purple89 · 31/10/2024 21:07

VapeVamp12 · 31/10/2024 21:06

I got a “shut up you effing annoying c word” a few weeks ago. A lady shouted it from an open window of a block of flats next to the kids playground . I was really upset cos I couldn’t see exactly where it came from in the block. My son is only 4 but he wasn’t screaming, just playing with the occasional laugh and shout.

I hate people sometimes.

That's horrific. There are some truly vile people around.

VapeVamp12 · 31/10/2024 21:08

When I wasnt with my son an elderly lady said “oh shut up” when a newborn was crying in a shop. As I didn’t have my son with me I just muttered “miserable bitch” as I walked past her.

I was always taught to respect my elders but some behaviour I’ve seen really makes me sad / angry. This year alone I’ve seen two separate older drivers hit peoples parked cars and not stopped / left a note.

Original poster
Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 21:10

I am surprised by those saying “maybe she was having a bad day, so I’d say nothing!”

Clearly my kid was having a bad day, but that didn’t stop her, and she was a grown woman!

Would it be considered acceptable if she’d said that to another adult? I don’t tell my own child to “shut up” so I’m disgusted that a stranger felt it acceptable to do so.

OP posts:
LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 31/10/2024 21:13

Wait, did she say to you or just say it? Tbh your child's show of disappointment might have been her last straw on the day. Or she's a twat. Who knows.

Just move on, it's something of nothing

MsChatterbox · 31/10/2024 21:14

As elderly, I would have assumed some mental health issues. Explained to my child something age appropriate and moved on.

Original poster
Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 21:15

LucyLocketLovesPollyPocket · 31/10/2024 21:13

Wait, did she say to you or just say it? Tbh your child's show of disappointment might have been her last straw on the day. Or she's a twat. Who knows.

Just move on, it's something of nothing

She didn’t turn to us and say it, but she was directly next to us and said it loud enough that we both heard it!

I wouldn’t dream of doing that no matter how bad my day was. Not saying I wouldn’t think it, but maybe she needs to work on her emotional regulation skills, not just my 4 year old… who is completely normal.

OP posts:
IVFmumoftwo · 31/10/2024 21:16

MsChatterbox · 31/10/2024 21:14

As elderly, I would have assumed some mental health issues. Explained to my child something age appropriate and moved on.

No some old people are just rude.

Flyhigher · 31/10/2024 21:16

It's very rude.
But she must have issues.

Kids are allowed to get upset.

Equally adults can sometimes have enough of hearing it.

I can't think of a suitable response that will set boundaries but not be aggressive.

What did you do?

Original poster
Whywouldyousaythat88 · 31/10/2024 21:18

Flyhigher · 31/10/2024 21:16

It's very rude.
But she must have issues.

Kids are allowed to get upset.

Equally adults can sometimes have enough of hearing it.

I can't think of a suitable response that will set boundaries but not be aggressive.

What did you do?

I asked her if she had just told my child to shut up and she doubled down and said that yes she did!

OP posts:
Flyhigher · 31/10/2024 21:20

And what did you respond ?