“Shut up”

[Whywouldyousaythat88]

Today at a self check out, my 4 year old was crying to me over typical kid stuff when the woman at the self check out next to me said “oh shut up, child” loud enough that both myself and my child heard her.

How would you have reacted?

I agree OP.

Since she didn't say it TO you then ignore.

Some whining children have just the right pitch to send you insane and yet another one would be okay.

Tbh my dc is not completely normal and we've faced much worse words than 'oh, shut up child'. You can't let it get to you. Some people are assholes, some are on a short fuse and some just have no inner voice. Let it go.

I'd never say that to a four year old.
She might not have had kids herself. And has no patience for them.
Or maybe she wanted them and never had them.
You don't know what's in people's heads.

I asked if she had children herself (she nodded!) and then asked how dare she. I had my 10 month old with me as well and I was super stressed myself too!

I felt it was important for my son to see that I did something, because it’s not acceptable for her, or anyone else, to treat him that way or for him to treat anyone else that way!

We had a big talk about how rude it is to tell people to shut up and how he’s not going to do that.

She was totally out of order speaking like that. Hope ur okay now, you did the right thing in calling her out on it. Might think twice next time x

Kids whinge and whine because it’s what they do but not everyone they come across will be happy to hear it and some of them might be rude about it. That’s just life unfortunately, you can’t teach everyone manners 🤷‍♀️

Just read OP’S update, you both sound as bad as each other tbh.

If somebody said it my child who was 4 and whinging, after walking round the shop 3 times and still not finding something, I'd probably be thankful as they'd be driving me mad too! 🙈

Some right miserable people out there. On our way to our Halloween party this morning, my eldest was talking excitedly on the bus. He has some hearing issues after lots of ear infections so doesn't realise he may talk a bit louder than he should. The guy in front tutted multiple times and then moved seat. Over a happy child...

Not relevant if she has kids or not, as surely your issue was how she responded to your child, not whether she has a fertile womb.

Also doubtful whether the holier than thou lecture was worth it.

Not great but looks like everyone involved could have used better emotional regulation strategies.

Just shake it off OP, you weren't having a good time, your son wasn't and clearly this lady wasn't.

Whenever I see a small child losing it in public I feel solidarity with their parents.

Or maybe she had children & brought them
up not to create loudly in shops?!

Good for you calling her out, I’d have either done the same (unless she looked like she could make trouble) or made some loud passive aggressive comments to my child about how we do not say shut up because it is unkind and not a good choice of words.

I'd I've said shut up too....very anoying!

Were you making any efforts to get your child to be quiet?

I get the slight impression you think your child was entitled to sob and cry loudly in public because he was upset. However it’s a very annoying (possibly distressing) noise for others and IMO a parent should be trying to shush their crying child, nicely of course. If you weren’t even trying then I can kind of understand her attitude albeit rude.

Apologies if you were.

Good for you saying something. Rudeness should be called out. And a parent should always stand up for their child.

Having read the full thread, I think you handled it well. She was outrageously rude and I would have wanted my child to see me advocate for him. Nobody likes a whining child but most grown ups recognise that it’s far harder for the parent.

Ive been known to confront people just for glaring at my kids 🤣

Look… kids can be arseholes. Mine included. I absolutely would be thinking Jesus just shut up (about my kids) When they’re whining on and being unreasonable (which kids often are) BUT if a stranger openly said ‘shut up child.’ To my child, it would give me the raging arse and I would instantly be defensive of them!! I can THINK it, you can THINK it. But they are my child and I am their mum.

I cannot understand people who get the arse about this! If you hear a child crying and it’s not your child you have to do absolutely nothing about it. Are you really that emotionally immature that you’re not capable of just drowning it out? Who gives a shit if she was having a bad day, the 4 year old didn’t cause that. If you can’t regulate your emotions as an adult why are you expecting a toddler too because you’re a lickle bit stressed?! 🙄

@minipie Do you have kids?

Oh behave

Oh that would piss me off ! Fair play for saying something, not sure what I would have done/ said. So unpleasant.

I've found the general public to be way less tolerant since the pandemic . They've probably always been like this , just something I've noticed.

@AutumnLeaves24 do you have children?? Please teach me how you stop a child from crying immediately without fear/intimidation?

The man doesn't know about your child's hearing problems. He's just seeing a child talking too loudly and not being corrected by their parent.

This! You never know what is going on for other people.

@BellissimoGecko but she doesn’t know what’s going on for op or her son!! Works both ways, not just for the aggy shop assistant!